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Fraggle

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  1. First Sunday for a long time I've woken up missing you, feeling hollow today and wishing you were here with me this morning. The one year anniversary since BU is messing with me more than I thought. I did love you, probably more than you know, but after 9 years you didn't give us the opportunity to resolve anything, you just left like I always feared you would. So I was proven right, but that is a small consolation right now. We didn't talk enough about our problems and concerns and as soon as we did you relayed it all to your brother. He then found it funny to bring it up in front of me... what a d*ck... It was the time at his birthday when he brought it up an argument we'd had and he made fun of me that made my blood boil. I'm not sure I ever recovered from that or that I could fully trust you again, yet here I am missing you again. My brain sees the logic my heart doesn't, gotta keep trucking to stop this pain from invading my life, when you probably don't care anymore.
  2. Not heard from you in weeks.... I'm low today and want to hear your voice, but whats the point I'll only end up hurting myself all over again... yuck i thought i was beyond this kind of emotion right now.... Really disappointed in myself that I can't move on form this faster, but I need to realise that its going to be a long time b4 I get over you I guess Don't know how much longer I can handle feeling like this
  3. Thanks DC, real useful perspective and yes that was the kind of input I was looking for, really appreciate your insight. She had decided to break up some weeks before she ended it. I had to see her last week re the property and she cried when I said it was possibly the last time I'd see her, so I know she's isn't finding it easy, but I guess it doesn't mean she still thinks she's made the right choice and maybe us breaking up is for the best long term? I go days when i think its for the best too and others when it really hurts Just interested to see how things might pan out and you've helped me get a semblance of an idea Hey Sstar
  4. Thanks DC, just interested how they went and under what circumstances as I'm 11 weeks in after BU with an amicable BU but with a property to sort which has caused some friction. I'm not sitting here hoping for reconciliation, but wanted to understand how long it took before there was any response. We've not really been NC yet due to the property matters. I feel that I need to get to NC to try and get over things. We've been together 9 years and I think she may have made a bit of a rash decision? But I'm moving on!
  5. Daisy, all your exes after going NC for 6 months I presume? Were some of them messy BUs too, just interested in hearing about them if u don't mind
  6. Errrgghhh, having another tough evening, probably from seeing you at the weekend... I know things didn't turn out well in the end but I wish we'd have banged our heads together and tried to fix things for both our sakes.... I'm sorry things didn't work out, but feel that we've let something go that we should not have let go of yet...
  7. colleague at work separated from her partner after 6 years for 4-5 months. Got back together and are now 12 years in with additional member if family on the way.. nice to hear!
  8. Indeed one can but hope that this is true for those that wish it to happen. Its so hard to tell what happens, but as so so many have said here, time will tell
  9. Not a peep from you over the weekend- I guess I shouldn't be surprised, miss your company....
  10. Been a weeks since my text message to say happy Easter. Been 2 weeks since you came and got your post and I saw you. I don't think intermittent contact is helping me, but for some reason I still miss you and want to try and make it work. 9 years and you just thrown the towel I with little or no explanation bar " the switch" has gone. I guess deep down I wonder that with ay switch it can be switched both on and off, but would I really want you back after the horrible things you said ? I don't know but wherever you are I do really care for you still and wish we could give it just one more go before giving everything up. Ere was nothing n the break up really.... Just a disagreement ad you getting cross with me when I'm down and having a difficult time. I'm sorry for struggling but everything got to me. Whatever happens I won't forget our time together
  11. Been to the therapist today and trawled through the relationship about my father.... I wish you were here just to talk to.....
  12. Whether you think it or not I will be thinking of you over Easter and the more I think about thing the more I want to talk to you about what happened rather than letting 9 years slip away, but I did ask you on numerous occasions that this is what you wanted and it appeared to be the case, is this still the case? I can't be sure and I don't know if you'll ever ask me either? I'll give it some more time, but if you don't have the courage to ask, then maybe I have to pluck up the courage.... Have a good Easter
  13. When I saw you tonight I felt weird, like you weren't you and I guess maybe you aren't anymore? I'm sorry I upset you with my misleading email, it was not intentional. I hope that things will finally settle between us and that I can finally start to feel human again. I don't think you will never know how much you hurt me leaving when I was in a very difficult place. I understand now that I shouldn't have expected you to be able to manage my problems, but it would have been nice if you could have acknowledged them? Maybe things can be different in the future, but right now I need to focus on me and get better through my therapy and by being on my own, something which I've not properly been since my mum Died. That's nearly 16 years ago. Some of my grief in our relationship is grieving her I think. I should have resolved that many years ago but I didn't. I feel hollow now you've gone again but do I miss you-I don't know- time will tell. I hope life pans out the way it should..... See you when everything is finally sorted out
  14. It been a month since I saw you when I dropped your stuff of and bar 3 emails re the property no nc. I'm really proud of myself for being able to do this. I must continue to hope it gets better and you become a distant memory for although I miss you now and wish you were here being a distant memory is all you deserve after e way you treated me
  15. It'll be 7 weeks tomorrow since you told me a flick had switched and you were no longer wanting to be in the relationship and that you did want to have your kids w me. Those words hit me so hard I nearly stopped breathing. The last 7 weeks have been the toughest thing I've ever had to endure bar the death of my mother. You have at least not tried to contact me, but why would you? I do miss you even after your hateful words and inability to sit down and talk to me before rejecting me and throwing 9 years away.... Part of me hopes you'll realize the mistake you have made but I doubt it as you could never admit that you were wrong and I guess you ll continue to do so for the rest of your life. I doubt many of your relationships will last because of this. I hope for your sake you take some time out and work on yourself but I seriously doubt it. For all your horrible words and warped morals I still miss you and for that I hate myself at the moment. I hope that as I work on me and I go through my therapist sessions I will become a better and stonger person who deserves better than you x
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