peanut15

I am not being out of line! I was cheated on by my husband with someone like you and she DID threaten me! I dont' appreciate you trying to be the martyr because you are NOT! What's important is that the child be taken care of and honestly, you are NO FIT to be his mother ever! You better be careful with your words. YOU have NO right to threaten his ex!

I'm sorry but I have a SERIOUS problem with your statement! The woman obviously hurts terribly because your fiance left her with a newborn. How would you feel if that were you? The same way probably. Of course you have a serious problem with this statement , what do you know. You havent been through what i have been through. You dont even know the whole story. I really couldnt care less what she feels, she should not have taken out her hurt and anger towards me. She plotted and schemed enough to have that child now she has to deal with the consequences. And for the record i dont take that statement back. I still wish she would curl up in a corner and die. She is a time consuming, useless, waste of space in both our lives. Young lady you need to grow up and stop making death threats to her. What do I know? I know that women like you plague this earth by stealing men that are taken. Yeah, he should have known better but YOU on the otherhand should have walked away. YOU expect to be this baby's other mother...please. YOU have no morals! I know what SHE is going through and I can see from your lack of maturity that YOU don't know what is right or wrong. A mature person does not wish death upon someone else and you my dear need to get a clue really fast!

I'm sorry but I have a SERIOUS problem with your statement! The woman obviously hurts terribly because your fiance left her with a newborn. How would you feel if that were you? The same way probably.

DancingD...I only read your story and not the remarks by everyone else. It seems to me that you really hurt your fiance the first time around and it has haunted her to this day. I think it really was a mistake for both of you to get back together honestly. There's a lack of trust that started when you hooked up with your ex just for sex because she was not putting out. I have been cheated on by my H and let me tell you that the trust is still not there and I don't think it ever will be...its just not the same. I think that you need to reevaluate your situation and think about what you really want and ask her what she really wants as well.

Sorry about my topic being quite vague. Its has been well over one year since my husband's affair. It has been really hard for me to deal with but I am not as depressed as I was beforehand. He has been trying to show he is trustworthy except for a couple of things. I understand that at some point I need to let his affair be a part of the past and move on however if it does affect me in some way, he tells me to get over it or else he'll leave. Another thing is that he has only female friends and hangs out with NO males. He made a snide comment to me the other night after we had a fight about him having female friends and being invited places by them. He said "You get mad if I wants to hang out with my female friends. What next, you'll get mad if I start having males friends and hang out with them? Will you think I'm having a gay relationship with them the guys too?" I snapped back and told him that he never has hung out with any guys so that actually would be a treat for me. I am at a loss. He's making me feel guilty about feeling this way. I felt like I was walked all over when he had his affair and now I'm beginning to feel the same thing again. Words of advice?

I suggest after you finish with your bachelor's that you take time off from school and work on a career in the field you are interested in. If all goes well, I would pick a post baccalaureate degree that would help you excel in that field. Also, the company you work for may offer tuition reimbursement if you decide to further your education. I majored in Political Science and ended up working in a county agency. I specifically picked Public Administration because it offered just the right type of courses for me to continue my career in government. An MPA is similar to an MBA but more geared towards the public sector. Anyway, the agency I worked for offered tuition reimbursement as well (it paid for about 70% of my costs). Also, I found that some companies and agencies have graduate schools come and teach at the office so you don't have to drive all the way to the main campus. As far as surprises, I found graduate school much easier than working on my bachelor's. I guess its because you grow up a bit and have more experience. You share your experiences with your classmates and apply it to what you are studying. In my program, we had a few students who started immediately after they received their BA. They didn't do so well however because they could not apply what they learned to real work experiences. Lastly, this is just my opinion if you are going to work on a professional degree as opposed to an academic one. MPA, MBA, and JDs are professional degrees. I suggest that if you work on an MA or MS that maybe you should go directly from your BA/BS to a program like that, maybe wait a year or so. With those programs you learn more theories. Anyway, that is my opinion based on my experience and my best friend who is currently working on her MBA (she waited 10 years).

I've never been in your situation but have known many people that have been. To get down to what you are wanting to hear or know...they all moved back home w/in the first year. Leaving someplace for someone else is a big step especially if there is NO ONE there for you. You have made it so far to finish your degree and even though you said that you'll figure it out, that is a big risk on your part. I mean, is she really the one you want to leave everythig behind?

I've been there. I got laid off, found out my husband had an affair and then my son has seizures (still no diagnosis) all within 10 days. The woman my husband had an affair with starts threatening me and then posting our phone number and his work number on the internet. Well, you could figure out what happens next. But its been 7 months and I'm better, it took a while but what I did was do things that made me happy. I started going out more with my friends, I started taking photography classes, and I started to redecorate my home.

Unless he really really looks that young, then they already know he is probably more than 3 years older than you. I think you shouldn't have lied to your parents because what if it ends up getting more serious? By the way, how old are you?

I used to have the same problem as you but I was never in the spotlight. On dates I became this completely different person because I was trying too hard to impress the guy or just was flat out nervous. But I have had a handful of relationship though and that's because most of the guys were able to see beyond that first date. I guess they did see that I was truly nervous. My suggestion is to just relax and not try to hard. Maybe think of them as a friend you are just going out with w/o expectations. I think that since you have not had a relationship you are expecting too much during the first date and maybe that is why it ends up not so good.

Sex is important in a marriage. As sexual chemistry is important it is not the basis of who you ask to marry you. I mean, a person can have a great body and a good personality and not be sexually compatible with you. Then the other person who is ok looking and has an awesome personality may truly rock your world in bed. I guess it is what is important to you and what you may find pleasing for you. I've been married for 6 years and my husband has gained alot of weight since we got married. If I were not married to him, I probably wouldnt' be physically attracted to someone like that initially but that all changes when I get to know their personality. Once I get to know their personality, that is what I am completely attracted to. Does this all make sense? If you are just dating people and are far from marriage then date whoever you want but when you start to get the marriage itch just remember that a great body will disappear with time but the personality remains. So which one would you rather live with day in and day out?

Oh geez, this story is old. I'm in my 30s and I remember reading about this when Jimmy Carter was president. Most of these state laws date way back when to when our grandparents were young. As far as I know, most law enforcers won't enforce these laws or arrest you especially if you are w/in the confines of your own home but just remember to keep the curtains closed because that becomes a whole different story. Oh yeah, besides these sex laws, there's another set of laws that are so outdated but not enforced anymore. I used to have a book once of real stupid laws and I remember in one state that a woman could only drive if her husband is running along side the car waving a red flag warning people of a woman driver. I forgot what state it was and apparently its still in the books and it originally was created in the early 1900s.

I don't like facial hair but that's my preference. I do like the one day unshaven look but that's about it. Some men are able to pull it off though but it just depends.

Yes, some women are more sensitive during that time. If both agree to it then what's the problem? Turn off the lights and have fun BUT it is not a guaranteed form of birth control!!!! Women can get pregnant during that time ...low percentage but still you may never know if you fall within that number.

My guess is that she wants to explore other relationships. She's only 21 and she had a 4 year relationship prior to the one with you. At your age, there are so many things happening around you that it is really hard to do it with someone else. Maybe she has aspirations or ideas about what she wants in life and needs to explore it herself. Sometimes men and women just don't feel that the relationship is working out and needs a time out to think about things. Honestly, dont' spend too much of your time waiting for her or trying to win her back. You'd be smothering her even though you dont think you are.