mylifeisasoapoprea
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what do i do if he does side with the lunetic?
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she has limited internet access. her family has kept the passwords from her. so when she goes on they know she is on. Her brother does know the password and lets her on. she also goes on at his work as well. She told me tonight that she is afraid that the pastor thing is not going to go well and that she is going to be the bad guy in all of this. she is worried that the pastor will side with her parents. She is pretty worried about it now. what do you think?
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I do see where there is a lot of envy going on. my gf was the first one to have a relationship, and her older sister always tried to blow things out of proportion and even trying to get the parents involved. She gets the same job that her sister once had and since they liked my gf they gave her more pay and her sister was mean to her for that. Any accomplishment my gf is given a hard time. My gf took steps to email her pastor. The pastor will meet with her and the family on monday if it is ok for the parents. I don't know how that will go but hopefully it is a step.
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she has realized that her parents would try and choose a spouse. They have tried with her. Her sister had this guy who was interested in her and she liked the guy her dad was leary about it and the guy had to ask permission as well. Her sister and this guy don't talk anymore. she sees that her dad has controled all these lives. she has seen a lot of light these last few days. It does seem like the parents do want to try and blame me now for everything. what do i do for that?
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yeah but even if she is ready she will still have guilt beacuse her parents make her feel that she doesn't love them if she left. This will happen at anytime. What are the chances that she will pass on the abuse to kids herself? how can that be prevented?
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ok they say that she needs it too live on her own. they didn's say take them. keep in mind that they don't want her to live on her own. they want her to be a homemakker and live at home until she is married. if she takes self defense classes they will be threatened that she will leave them and go off to a courupted world. my gfs mom always tells her that she never left home until she was married. her views changed when she got married. etc, etc... just because it happened with them doesn't mean that is how she is to live. my brother gave her a job offer to nanny his kids for 250 week and free room and board. she does khave a chance, but i don't want to take advantage of my brother though.
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yeah i agree that taking self defense class is a good idea, how ever don't you think they are being a little extreme? they don't let her have friends they cut her off from anything that will help her they dont' want her to have a career they make her feel selfish when she hasn't done anything wrong they don't want her to progress in life they mess with her feelings to control her they say that her wanting a life is greedy what do you think about all this? it almost seems like you side with her parents on this? are they emotionally abusing her? is my gf doing anything wrong here? doesn't she deserve all the things that her parents rob her of for some lame excuse to control? or am i wrong here?
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all the things that i find about emotional abuse is mostly partener inflcited. is there any information out there about parents emotionally abusing there kids? my gf had an argument with her mom today. it was about her wanting to do something with her life. Her mom said to her that she had wanted the same things when she was in college but that all changed when she met her dad and she said that the same thing was going to happen to her. her mom said to basically forget it and become a homemaker. her mom said that that is her calling in life. to be a homemaker. she also said that her wanting a career she would be going against what God wants. Her parents also said that she can't see me until her attitude changes. the only attitude is her wanting to do something with her life. They say that she is being greedy wanting to have goals in chances in her life. they tell her that she has to stay at home until she is married. they tell her that she needs at least 10,000 dollars for back up, self defense classes and gun because she will need it in the world. They tell her that her living on her own is impossible. her parents are wrong and full of it. she was out of that house for a year got a taste of the oppurtuntiy in the world and wants more of it. her parents tell her that year corrupted her and her veiws are wrong. what do i tell my gf? she needs help. her parents are wrong and have gone too far. what can be done?
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she keeps telling me everyday that she needs to leave i don't get why she doesn't.
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how can this cycle end? what can be done about emotional abuse brought on by parents? its not right that they treat my gf this way because she has different views. how does holding her back going to help? how does entrapment work? how does keeping her away from friends help anything? whats the point?
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I dont think that he has touched anyone. I don't believe that he has it in him. It is clear that he just uses emotions and holds things over heads to get what he wants. My gf is the only one her family that has different veiws than the rest of the family. the rest of the family remember was kept pretty well sheltered and its all they know. i think my gf is treated the way sshe is mainly because she has different view regarding the role of women. Her dad told me that they do have problems to be worked out but he is controlling her and entrapping her thinking thats the solution to the problem. My gf has been kept from having friends outside the home. Her brother has friends outside the home but for some reason her dad doesn't want her to have friends. I don't know why. Its horrible. She would never do anything illegal or slip spirtually. I can't figure out why this is happening to her. Her sister goes along with everything so there are no problems with tension. My gf is the one that has all the problems. this needs to end and what can she do to end thsi cycle
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Sorry that i haven't replied in awhile...i was down visting my gf. her dad sat down talked to me told me that if i don't agree with him that i have to cut off the relationship. my gf was angry that he had to say that. the only thing i can do is let him think i agree, when i really do not. she needs to be able to earn money to get out and in that time she needs to work things out and for that it will require counceling. hopefully her dad won't refuse the councel. my gf also bought a car from him but did not get the title in her name, he keeps threatening to take it away if she doesn't do what he wants all the time. the whole time i was down there he kept ripping weight jabs at his wife and my gf and they are not over weight. they both look really good. he also used the phrase to my gf "when i decide what you are going to do with your life" LIKE IT IS HIS DECISION TO MAKE!!! the nerve of him. she needs to get away from this lunatic i don't know what to do, because i don't agree with him and i think he is wacked in the head
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what do you mean by lock myself down now? i have been working on solution to get her to success. however its hard to cut on ones own. between living somewhere and college. money will be tough. i'm not too sure what to do about myself after next year when i move out of dorms. I have to find a place to live and i don't know how to do that. my gf needs the same thing, she wants to move up north and be near me and get away from her controling parents and get a life up here. the out of state situation makes it tough, i'm still a resident of kentucky in wisconsin and plan to try to live here. its going to be tough
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she is not a minor anymore
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i dont' know....she did get to talk to others about it as well. sounds like they don't know what do really. sounds like one possibility it that she and her father would sit down and talk to a pastor together. however there is a possibility of her dad leaving the church. it is a sticky situation because children should obey their parents however there are lines being crossed here. who knows what they think.