savagegerbil1607306442

I liked this woman a lot (possibly loved) but she kept hurting me. we would be together, then she would push away, then together then push etc etc. I kept hurting so bad I ended up moving halfway accross the country just to get over her. I figure out of sight, out of mind, nope... 6 months after I moved we started talking in email. She expressed (yet again) a desire to be with me and like always I thought she meant it this time. I believed her so much I spent over $2k flying up for the weekend just to spend with her. When I got back she was being distant with me. After a week and a half I asked her why and she said she was reconsidering me and she didnt know how she fealt about me. I have done a lot to keep my mind off her. I started my own business, I have gone on dates, worked out and do everything I can to better myself and I still every morning wake up thinking about here,wondering why she treats me the way she does and why I still want to be with her. I dont know if this is that "want what you cannot have" but does that last for so long and that extreme? My feelings are the same as they were so long ago. It's like I know I deserve better, but I still want her.

I know how ya feel buddy. Over the past year I've dropped from 190 to about 150 now and I am 6'1 so it makes for a scrawny body. First thing ya gotta do is get rid of your insecurity. Second, whether you want to or not I would recommend hitting the gym. Think about it, everyone who goes there didnt start off with a great body and when they see you they will know exactly why your there, and would be willing to help you, not criticise you. I've found that no matter what I eat and what I do I still stay skinney, so instead of hiding what I dont have under baggy clothes I show off what I do have. Skin hugging clothes is in, flaunt how your skinney. Someone doesnt like ya for how skinney you are, their the one with the problem, not you.

Reliving the past always hurts, but you have a lot to look forward too. I would let it go. It sounds to me like your ex is a vendictive person who only cares about herself. You know that saying, misery loves company? well I am willing to bet she is miserable, always has been and the only way she feels better is when she brings people down to her level.

Dont try to stop the wedding but let her know how you feel and what you want. Cause if you dont, you will kick yourself later. and if she did get married and then you let your feeling be known, and she did want to be with you, then it's too late and a marrage is not something easy to get out of. Tell her how you feel, thats all you can do and it is in her hands to decide.

Last week, I thought I wa threw with this girl. I realized how selfish and full of it she was and how our entire relationship was based on lies and her greed. I was angry, I hated her. well now my anger is gone and it's only been 5 days and I miss her already. I hate this feeling, I know I cant trust anything she says to me, I know our past was BS, and I know I really dont know who she is, only what I thought she was. It hurts really bad, but what hurts more is I cant even cry about it anymore, I just walk around like a zombie with no purpose and have no real clue about anything anymore. I just wanty this pain to go away

I learned something after I wrote that about her. Right now I feel so lucky it has ended, I want nothing more to do with this psycho. I used to think she was just confused, that cause of her family and husbands manipulation, thats all she knew. I was wrong, she needs some serious help! If I wasnt so mad at her, maybe one day I would feel sorry for her. I think about her and I now and feel disguisted knowing people like her exist. I have heard of guys like her, but never thought women could be like that.

is it so wrong to need to communicate a problem? I have been having problems with someone and for awhile I have been coming to this board and posting our problems for advice. Well the other day, I wanted to show her what I felt like and she had seen what I had said when I was venting. Now she hates me, says I shared with the whole world her problems. It's always been about her, never us but her! It angers me so much! we havent been talking because I told her I didnt trust her, basically cause she has broken my heart two times before and she expected me to trust her again after just 1 week. I gave her the benefit of the doubt, I believed in her this time even though I was a bit skepticle but I took a leap of faith in her. Now she hates me and wont even acknowledge me. It's like, I have spent the whole year trying to prove to her my feelings and how much I want it to work, and she has never offered me any kind of commitment, just says things which make me think she wants to be with me, but it never happens. There has been so many times she has been out of line and wrong, and I always forgive her and never once asked her to prove herself. But the moment I ask for forgiveness, and want to work it out she just ignores me and says she cant cope. I cant tell her how I cope with the pain, I cant tell her how I drink myself to death, or how I commit mutilation on myself, just so I have some other pain to occupy my mind! There is no communication whatsoever, it's a one way relationship and I am along for the ride. The moment I express my feelings she gets angry, thats all she ever does is get angry and thinks of just herself! IT ANGERS ME SO MUCH!!!

I did show her and appearently I am selfish, well if letting someone know how I feel makes me selfish then I guess I am the worlds most selfish person.

This is how you make me feel, hopefully by writing this down I may be able to see were my own faults are in all of this. You put me in places where I feel like I have no way of expressing my feelings, and I hate you for that. It always seems to be what's best for you, your always having the problem or an issue or something, and damn me for even needing some reassurance once in awhile. I feel like when you need some attention, you need some affection to make you feel somewhat normal again, you will tell me whatever I need to hear so I will open my arms up to you, but then the moment I need some from you, you push me away and say you cant do that right now. And when I feel used and want answers, you lie and tell me things like you don't need to explain yourself. Tell me how many guys would go through this again and again for you? Who would sacrifice it all just for a chance at a normal relationship? Over one year I have gone through hell, while you went back and forth with your feelings for me, always finding a reason to push your feelings away from me, honor, god, space, being alone. What are you scared of? Do you think I am going to be like him? Do you think I am going to hurt you like him? Haven't I proven to you that my love is genuine? Or are you still letting those little doubts and fears tell you to back away, that I will eventually hurt you? You say you accept me for all my flaws, yet when I feel insecure and need your reassurance, you get angry and dont talk to me and say I am not the person who you thought I was, or that I really dont know you. I do whatever I can to reassure you when you have doubts, why cant you do the same for me? do you not know how? cant you even try? I see a lot of double standards in our relationship, and again I feel like I cant express them cause I fear losing you. I hate it! You say I have no faith, you expect it but you don't give it. My faith gets dimmed when you tell me you are looking for a slutty outfit to wear going clubbing, or when you say you, your friend, and this guy you had a thing with are going out for drinks. How would you feel if I said the same things? You wonder why I sometimes say the awful things I do, but what I say is the truth and you don't like getting caught in your lies, and your deceit. And still I have not cursed you, and I have not insulted you because I do care about your feelings, I do care about your self esteem and damn if I would ever cause you to feel any lower. But you do not feel the same about me, you lie, you betray my trust, you take away just as quickly as you give your feelings and in the end you leave me with all the pain. A year, a year of being grinded down to nothing and still you expect me to be strong. If you cant decide what you want by now, and if you don't know in your heart if you love me, then you will never know and you will always doubt those feelings. I deserve better then that, I deserve someone who will treat me with respect and dignity and trusts me. Your letting something slip from your fingers which could be wonderful, all because you feel guilty, doubt yourself, and everything else you tell yourself to make you feel comfortable. You have had so many chances and every time you pushed me away, well now I am pushing you away!

unfortunately cause of her divorce, we cant really communicate other then that. I've never liked it either, I feel the same way, we could say whatever we wanted but without being able to look each other in the eye, it doesnt do it justice. I know she could leave me, but she has been going back and forth for the past year about her feelings for me, and it seems like she has tried everything under the sun to try and push her feelings back, but they always get the better of her and she comes back to me, and like a fool I always take her back. I feel she should know by now if she wants to be with me or not. I get the feeling she has this freedom coming to her and she wants to do whatever she wants, but she should just say that ya know? I am realizing I should stay, and just for myself. I cant stand it here, but I figure if I can overcome my fear of being alone here, I can do it anywhere. I just wish there was a way to tell her this, and to tell her it was my fear that pushed her away and not because I am impatiant or dont have faith in her.

Hi, i recently posted a question and I got mixed answers, both of which made since. but since then new events have transpired and new confusion. Let me start from the beginning. I have recently been fired from a job, the reason I was fired was because I emailed this woman too much (not unwanted by her) well, we have strong feelings for each other, we have had them for about a year. we had been on and off for awhile, and she was/is going through a difficult part of her life. Well, her and I got into a huge email fight, and because of it, I was fired. My old coworkers told me it was because of her, I didnt care. when I left she came to me, crying. The next day she emailed me at home and told me she loved the way I treated her and wanted that for her life and wanted me to take her and her daughter away. Well, I was hesitant to start talking with her again, but I love her and decided to give her another chance. Since I was fired, I have had the difficult decision of staying here, or moving away with my family. The stress has been unbareable, it's causing me to loose sleep and eat right, and I dont feel comfortable, no matter what. I dont want to move with them, but my mother, she is getting old, and I fear I may never see her again if I stay. But I want to stay, for this woman. well, for her birthday we met up and we talked some more, i wanted to hear it from her if she meant it, she did. I told her that if I left I feel I would be making a mistake, and that I will stay for her. We spent time together, even went as far as talking about what kind of house we wanted. She is going through a divorce right now, very hard time for her. She has gone from last week telling me how wonderful I am and how great I am to her to telling me that she needs to part herself with me and how god showed her she needs to be alone for awhile. It just came out all of a sudden... she told me she did not want me to stay here cause she would put pressure on herself to speed up the mourning process. I told her I would wait no matter how long it took because she was that important to me. she said I have to make the decision on my own. I have a little voice in the back of my head saying she does not want me, and this is just an easy way for her to get rid of me. I thought and thought about what I should do, then I asked her if she meant what she said and wanted what I wanted, she said yes she wants that. Then I asked her if she wanted that with me, and if she loved me. She didnt answer, instead she sent an email to me saying she felt she didnt need to explain anything to me. I was angry about this, and along with my stress, pressure, and all the anxiety of making the wrong choice, I wrote her and said how she always got my hopes up, and then changes her mind and leaves me with the pain. I asked her why she got back into my life and if she was playing this sick game. She replied saying I was too impatiant and didnt have any faith in her and was sorry I felt that way about her. She asked me not to talk to her again. After thinking about it, I realized I put too much pressure on her, because I wanted assurances that if I stayed we would be together. I know we have something special between us, we keep coming back to one another, but how am I supposed to compete with god? It's like if she feels hurt or sad for the littlest thing it's god telling her it's not right. I tried calling her cell, but she disconnected it. I have so little time to decide, and all I wanted was for her to tell me how she felt about me, I dont want it to end like this... I know I am supposed to give her time, and I know I need to get over some issues of my own. I feel I should stay and be on my own, and get over my fear of being alone because that is the cause of most of our problems. How can I make it up to her? I know she feels very hurt by this

I have a really tough choice I need to make, and I need some opinions about it. I recently got fired from my job, and a woman I worked with found out. Her and I have had an off and on relationship. I am deeply in love with this woman and it's possible she loves me, but she is going through a divorce and having a really tough time and goes back and forth about her feelings for me. My family is moving to florida within the next month. I dont want to go, and I could survive on my savings for the next six months, which may give her time to work on her problems. I told her I would stay for her, and would wait as long as it took but today she told me she wanted me to reconsider moving, that me staying will put pressure on her and doesnt know how long it'll take for her to get over it. and that she doesnt want me putting my life on hold. I dont mind waiting for the girl, I think she is more then worth it. I think she wants me to stay, but wont say cause she doesnt want the responsibility or the guilt if she decided not to be with me. I want to stay and see where her and I end up, but I dont want to pressure her and inhibit her healing process, but I also want to move so she will have one less thing to worry about, but if she changed her mind and wanted to be with me, it would be too late then =/ I had thought about staying here, and telling her I was leaving. That way she wouldnt feel pressured and if she decided to be with me I would still be here, but I really dont want to lie to her. I want to do whats best for her, but feel i am getting mixed messages. very confusing any thoughts, ideas, or opinions?

Did you ever think that you may be keeping your wife from finding her true love by staying in the marriage? You say you stay in it because you are afraid she would do something horrible, i think you are afraid to feel so guilty, you are selfish.

it's my opinion that when you get married, there is no doubts! you have doubt, i'm not saying cancel everything, just be engaged for a longer period of time until the answer comes to you.

can anyone tell me why women go back to their abusive husbands? heres the story in a nutshell, the guys does something to piss her off, she comes to me and we have this thing, then she says she needs her space and ends up going back to the guy after giving a bunch of BS. I try asking her what the hell happened but she ends up changing the subject, says i am bringing her down, or changes her story saying he didnt do anything wrong. I dont know if she is afraid of something, like he threatened to kill her or something, and she is only doing it because she has to or.......