DocZ

Well I confronted Sarah about my feelings and I am pretty confident.. She at first said she wasnt interested to date a friend because of the risk of losing that friendship if we were ever to break up and those around us, thats the only argument she put up against me. If she really werent interested she could have made up other stuff, or she is just being nice.. hmm anyways she ended the whole thing with "I dont know yet, let us see what happens" This could mean anything... Anyone care to share what they think this could mean??

Well the worst thing will not be her not liking me back, it will be spending 9 weeks with someone who will be freaked out about me and we will be living in a bungalow together. That would be freaky for her and depressing for me! So if I pull of this method I would sometime during the middle of the trip, but I want to make sure everything runs smoothly. I want obvious signals so I dont ruin anything. I can get over someone if I have to!

This statement of "girls are only after money" is not a 100% true, but indeed there are too many women that are only after that one thing. I drive a Renault Megane, which most of you are not familiar with if you live in the US, its an average car, looks unique, but not something special. This morning I just returned Mercedes SLK 2005 model which I had leased for about 4 days and while driving this car--might i add its one of the best cars ever, its bloody amazing--girls and some very very good looking girls were looking at not only the car, but me too and I find myself looking average and when I say looking not just a peek, but really LOOKING for as long as I or the car was in their line of sight. Its really sad, but thats how it often is. Those type of girls are not worth my time and shouldnt be worth anyone's time. =;

Ok I will explain what has happened lately in my situation. Our Uni term officially ended last friday, but Sarah had some work she had to do which she is able to turn in tmrw, so she has been rather busy this last weekend. Anyways, I have been flirting with her online quite often, giving her signals; even sending messages on the phone all the time. The problem is that she is very reluctant about showing her emotions, she goes to therapy about her problem and even told me that her therapist said that she usually always jokes around or is not serious when people talk about feelings to her. So this is a really awkward situation. Anyways, since she was soo busy, I got the shock of my life thinking of course, oh it DEFINITELY has to do with me, she has found out and is trying to stay away. Well yesteday night as two friends of mine and I were walking down a main shopping street, we crossed paths with Sarah and her mom. Her mom kept saying that she should stay with us to hang out and stuff, but Sarah always shook her head and hinted she wanted to stay with her mother. (She doesnt talk, remember) Anyways that hit me hard cause I thought she new about my interest and wasnt interested herself and was uncomfortable about hanging out. Well this morning when I woke up I had received a new msg from Sarah saying that she wanted to spend time with her mom before she left to thailand and stuff and said she was sry about yesterday.. I sent her a short abrupt answers cause I just had woken up and was still tired and she misunderstood it.. Sayin like "oH dont act like my "ex bf," its not as if I didnt want to hang out because of you or anyone else." So we sent msgs back and forth 5 or 6 times and ended up flirting again.. It settled down again, sitaution is calm now.. WE shall see again how it goes on. Thats the update so far...

thx so far for replies.. i am working on it.. slowly... more help would be appreciated!

Hey I thought I put this in the wrong section so here it is in the correct one. Anyways to my problem... This a really long and complicated story so hang in there please! Well where do I start. End of March my ex-gf broke up with me because I was treating her more like a friend rather than a gf, anyways thats not the point. Well I was feeling bad about the break up and it took about a month or so till i could get back on my feet again to go on with the normal life of looking for a new gf. Ever since I was getting support from a friend, who for the sake of confidentiality I will call Sarah. Shortly after my break up and stance on getting a new gf, I gave up again because of my travel to Thailand for pretty much the entire summer. No point in getting a gf and letting her wait 3 months till i come back, I was like, lets wait till I get back. The university in which I am going to has a campus in Thailand and in numerous other countries and we are offered free flights back and forth and easy set up for the program if we want to go to take a couple of courses there. Well Sarah and I have planned this since November of 2004 to go to Thailand. We both go to this same university and will be leaving in about a week. Anyhow, now comes the confusing and complicated part. Sarah doesn't talk. Don't get the wrong idea, she is not dumb or anything. She can also hear fine. In fact she talks ONLY with her parents. She seems to have this psychological problem and hasn't ever talked to anyone since she first learned how to speak, except again, to her parents. So I have never heard her voice and yeah probably never will. So it is rather hard to communicate with her in terms of flirting and the dating topic. When I usually am talking with her, she has her mobile phone with her and she types up an answer or messages very fast. Or when she asks me something she does it with the messages on her phone and she just shows what she typed up to me. Its rather easy for her. The point here is that I don't want to try and make her speak to me, thats not the point. I like her just the way she is and if she learns to overcome this problem and starts speaking with me, then thats cool. Anyways as of late, like since about two weeks I have been getting really strange signs. Just also to remind everyone, I am her "friend" and that for about 8 months now. You know how girls always categorize guys; once they are friends, they stay that most of the time and nothing more. Well in this case I am not tooo sure, i have always been interested in her, but I thought she was too good looking for me, you know not on the same level. Anyways people, in fact 3 good friends of mine have been telling that while we have all been going out, they have noticed that she has been looking at me more than normal or than she usually does. That it seems abnormal to them; that she could possibly be interested in me. Once my friends started telling me this, i have also myself been noticing some looks and just her nicer attitude towards me. And whenever i am talking with some girl on the phone or talking about a girl to another friend and she is around she always asks me who it was, who this girl is, which she never did since 2 or 3 weeks. I talk to her on MSN most of the time and flirt with her online mostly since its easier for her, but its nothing compared to face to face flirting, but of course, she doesnt talk, so I cant get back the same response from her. I don't know if I, myself and my friends are witnessing a psychological effect or not, the fact that she is going to Thailand with me alone might give a more than what is really happening perception. Also possibly that I would really love it to be true, I might also see or feel things that may not really be there and I am making all this up to myself or making myself believe it. I am sure you guys understand what I mean, well some of you. haha To summarize, I think, I am slowly about to get a crush on a girl I have been friends with for 8 months who doesn't talk to anyone but her parents and is possibly or possibly not showing signs of interest for me or she might just think that since her and I will be living together in a bungalow for 9 weeks at the university campus in Thailand, she thought it might be better to act nicer so not many problems arise between us there and I might not drop her off somewhere in Bangkok if i get angry at her. She would be lost, since she cant talk. haha, i know that is mean, sry.. So my question to you all is, how do I really find out whether she likes me or not by not directly asking her, which might then possibly ruin the entire Thailand trip which has been fully paid for and there is no cancellation possible? Do I wait it out and see what happens in Thailand? (Oh i didnt mention that. We chatted online once and I was askin her once why she is soo nice to me all of a sudden and she said you will see in Thailand. This of course could mean anything, it could mean that what I want it to mean, hmmm, grr.) Cause waiting 8 weeks can be a long time and waiting could just make it all worse... I am really stuck on this one and I know this is a rare situation since its hard to really have a conversation with her face to face. I am dazed and confused. Help me please Your friend, DocZ

Thanks for the replies so far.. I know not many might be able to answer to this one, its a really tough situation, nevertheless thank you for those who did answer and I am still open for more. I won't be leaving till the 22nd of May!

Hey guys! I actually have been a member to this forum/site for a while now, but I actually never really posted much or anything at all. Anyways I have read over a couple of posts here and I am very confident that we have a lot of dating experts on this site. I hope I can also be of assistance in future. Anyways to my problem... This a really long and complicated story so hang in there please! Well where do I start. End of March my ex-gf broke up with me because I was treating her more like a friend rather than a gf, anyways thats not the point. Well I was feeling bad about the break up and it took about a month or so till i could get back on my feet again to go on with the normal life of looking for a new gf. Ever since I was getting support from a friend, who for the sake of confidentiality I will call Sarah. Shortly after my break up and stance on getting a new gf, I gave up again because of my travel to Thailand for pretty much the entire summer. No point in getting a gf and letting her wait 3 months till i come back, I was like, lets wait till I get back. The university in which I am going to has a campus in Thailand and in numerous other countries and we are offered free flights back and forth and easy set up for the program if we want to go to take a couple of courses there. Well Sarah and I have planned this since November of 2004 to go to Thailand. We both go to this same university and will be leaving in about a week. Anyhow, now comes the confusing and complicated part. Sarah doesn't talk. Don't get the wrong idea, she is not dumb or anything. She can also hear fine. In fact she talks ONLY with her parents. She seems to have this psychological problem and hasn't ever talked to anyone since she first learned how to speak, except again, to her parents. So I have never heard her voice and yeah probably never will. So it is rather hard to communicate with her in terms of flirting and the dating topic. When I usually am talking with her, she has her mobile phone with her and she types up an answer or messages very fast. Or when she asks me something she does it with the messages on her phone and she just shows what she typed up to me. Its rather easy for her. The point here is that I don't want to try and make her speak to me, thats not the point. I like her just the way she is and if she learns to overcome this problem and starts speaking with me, then thats cool. Anyways as of late, like since about two weeks I have been getting really strange signs. Just also to remind everyone, I am her "friend" and that for about 8 months now. You know how girls always categorize guys; once they are friends, they stay that most of the time and nothing more. Well in this case I am not tooo sure, i have always been interested in her, but I thought she was too good looking for me, you know not on the same level. Anyways people, in fact 3 good friends of mine have been telling that while we have all been going out, they have noticed that she has been looking at me more than normal or than she usually does. That it seems abnormal to them; that she could possibly be interested in me. Once my friends started telling me this, i have also myself been noticing some looks and just her nicer attitude towards me. And whenever i am talking with some girl on the phone or talking about a girl to another friend and she is around she always asks me who it was, who this girl is, which she never did since 2 or 3 weeks. I talk to her on MSN most of the time and flirt with her online mostly since its easier for her, but its nothing compared to face to face flirting, but of course, she doesnt talk, so I cant get back the same response from her. I don't know if I, myself and my friends are witnessing a psychological effect or not, the fact that she is going to Thailand with me alone might give a more than what is really happening perception. Also possibly that I would really love it to be true, I might also see or feel things that may not really be there and I am making all this up to myself or making myself believe it. I am sure you guys understand what I mean, well some of you. haha To summarize, I think, I am slowly about to get a crush on a girl I have been friends with for 8 months who doesn't talk to anyone but her parents and is possibly or possibly not showing signs of interest for me or she might just think that since her and I will be living together in a bungalow for 9 weeks at the university campus in Thailand, she thought it might be better to act nicer so not many problems arise between us there and I might not drop her off somewhere in Bangkok if i get angry at her. She would be lost, since she cant talk. haha, i know that is mean, sry.. So my question to you all is, how do I really find out whether she likes me or not by not directly asking her, which might then possibly ruin the entire Thailand trip which has been fully paid for and there is no cancellation possible? Do I wait it out and see what happens in Thailand? (Oh i didnt mention that. We chatted online once and I was askin her once why she is soo nice to me all of a sudden and she said you will see in Thailand. This of course could mean anything, it could mean that what I want it to mean, hmmm, grr.) Cause waiting 8 weeks can be a long time and waiting could just make it all worse... I am really stuck on this one and I know this is a rare situation since its hard to really have a conversation with her face to face. I am dazed and confused. Help me please Your friend, DocZ

My friend who's Japanese (has a girlfriend) had a girl come visit him from Japan, she is half Japanese/half Austrian. My friend and I both live in Austria. So she came not to really visit him, but to check out the universities here if she would come to school here. She just stayed at his place cause it would have been cheaper than a hotel. Well since my friend is such a computer gaming freak, he was really lazy and didnt really want to show her around, besides since he hasnt lived here so long, so he didnt know much. Well later that day we were at my friends house. He was playing on his computer and her and I watched a movie and were drinking beers and vodka, we got so drunk that we eventually made out. We made out and had oral sex in my car and sex later that night at my place.. Well she left Vienna last Saturday and is in Germany now looking at other universities.. There is a chance thats she might never come back. I sent her an email about how I feel and that I am not the type of guy to just go for one night stands and have the girl dumped out someplace. I gained affection for her and while we were have sex and together, she seemed to show signs of affection too, holding my hand, sleeping on my chest and holding me real tight. She didnt say anything but it seemed like it. I havent received an email from her yet, but I hope she doesnt think I am an asshole or some freak... If anyone has any real good advice on what I should do, that would be great.. And I dont need any "oh it will be ok" trash.. I got enough of that already, lol.... Thxs! later

how about u make it rhyme more, lol.. good overall

Hey man, don't fret it, u will get a gf in time.. The reason why u aren't getting a gf is because of the way u act. It doesnt matter if u are fat, skinny, ugly, beautiful, whatever I have seen many gorgeous girls going out with the most dumbest, ugliest people, which still amazes me sometimes, but we know we can cross that out, so u definitely have got a lag in ur personality that seems to be turning girls away. Maybe u need to be more self-confident, girls always need a man with confidence, someone who knows what he wants and is never too afraid to talk about it. Act natural, don't lie, be funny, sometimes its good to be a little cynical, joke about the girl u like until she gets to the brink of getting mad and then make it up, say u were kidding and that she is beautiful or whatever. Yes u have to play the charmer, a good set of words can make things worse, but they can also change everything for u, she may just fall at your feet. Look its all happened before and to tell u the truth I had my first gf when I was 16, so don't worry, u will have ur chance, in fact its almost positively sure that u would even get a gf once in ur life, even if u did absolutely nothing for it. So don't think of killing urself never do that.. Man, women are not worth the pain an suffering, they know exactly how we feel and that sometimes we are feeling down and what do they do most of the time, they just look and pass u by. Have fun, be yourself, don't seem available to any girl u like, act as if u have a life of your own, cause if u dont u may seem desparate and thats a turn-off.. I am sure u will get it right, there are many sites and articles that can help u on ur hunt for a girl! I wish u the best of luck man and don't give it up, it will come sooner or later.

U know I was expecting answer like those of urs.. I am mean the situation is very simple, either u do this or u do that.. Isn't there something else, like voodoo magic or something, haha... (didn't mean to bash the religious, just trying to save them from wasting precious time) Yeah well I have only known her for about 4 to 5 months, I have also READ a lot of other posts of people saying to wait a longer like an additional 5 to 6 months and THEN tell her my feelings. So she will know that I have been with her for so long and really love her. Then again there is the fact that she might get to know someone else and go out with him, well I am crossing that fact out, no matter how weird and unpredictable girls are, she is just different, I know cause 4 months ago she said she wanted to be freee, I didnt ask her out I just asked if she had a bf and right now I seem to be the only guy she knows well, if things change I will take action before some takes for before me. Anyways, more tips are always welcomed.. thx for ur initial tries, hehe.. They were appreciated.

I know how it feels to be in your position, well except for the feeling relieved part. I am in the position right now were I have fallen in love with my friend, she is just absolutely wonderful, she always comes up to me to check up on me, as if she were my gf, but there is that one element that is missing, her love or desire for me. Right now I am stuck in the situation of whether to decide or not to tell her about my feelings. I dont know what I am going to do, but from reading all these posts, I can gather up a little tips for u.. U asked if u should try again, with asking her out or being together, whatever.. Well this is what I have to say. U should go for it again when u feel the time is right, because I am really thinking of asking her. I want to be happy, I know I can't be happy if she is just my friend, yes things seem fine and all, we both like each other, but in the end one will never be as happy as they may seem and u, especially know that. So u have to talk to her and tell her that u can't carry on like this pretending to be her friend when u really want a better deeper lasting relationship.. In the end u know what I mean, and I think u probably expected this answer, but to tell u the truth, thats the only way it can really work, yeah unless u sit there and hope for something to happen, if u are lucky something might happen, but we all know the truth.. No risk, no gain..... Good luck man, I feel for u.. Just show ur true love and all should work out.. peace

Yep yep, here we go again, I know u guys get hundreds of people complaining that they have fallen in love with their friend, sometimes we just wish that it all stops and that everyone can get together with their true love and no one will have to worry about it. Well the real truth is, it won't stop, unless God (For all u religious people, HE DOESN'T exist, lifes not a test, it SUCKS, this is a more evil place than we thought it was! Sry) decides to grant us all our 'love' wishes. It won't happen, us pitifull humans are left with struggling fact that it will never stop... It will always happen no matter what.. Proof u need? Well here u go.. I am a victim too... and now I need help just like everyone on here, lol.. I am truly an amateur with this situation, this is the first time it has really happened to me. Well I might this girl at my university about 8 months ago.. At first I wasn't really interested in even talking to her, so I had a whole course with her for half a semester and I said hi once, well it turned out that in my next course, I had familiar company, it was that girl again and since she was the only one I recognized I said hi again and we started talking, etc... We got along quite well.. At first I would just talk to her in class, we never really hung out, tell it came to the next semester, we it turned out we were together in two courses. Well yeah we are majoring in the same subject., figures, lol.... Anyways we became quite good friends and at the time I was attracted to someone else. We started to hang out and go eat dinner a lot and especially to the movies quite often, like every weekend. And I would like, "so what u doing this weekend?" and she goes "going to the movies with u," haha yeah i never really asked, i was quite surprised.. WELL GUESS what, last week I have madly fallen in love with her.. yes she is a gorgeous girl, no not after I have fallen in love with her, ever since I met her, to me it seems she is the perfect girl.. But yeah I am stuck in the very common situation.. Either tell her what I feel for her and lose her friendship or whatever or tell her and she agrees and we all live happily ever after.. Well I have the great fear of rejection. I don't know why, I am not bad looking at least people tell me, I am well built, good overall posture and stature. I just dont know what is killing my self-condifence, I am normally not like this. At the touch of her magic, I am just a weak little bugger.. WHAT am I to do?!?!?! HELPPP, lol.. YEs I know I talk or write a lot, but I am trying to make it funny and worthwhile.. I don't want to bore u avid readers.. So if anyone can come up with original ideas.. hmm that would be great, experience is a plus.... Thx..

Thanks for the help, haha but I have figured out that part already. I know that is exactly what I am scared of, that she will not want to talk to me at all because she will feel uncomfortable. But what a friend once told..... Ask yourself, is she REALLY a GOOD friend? Maybe she is to you, but are you to her? Cause what you really want from her is to be together with her as a couple. So in other words you really have nothing to lose. But of course, NOO, I can't do that myself, cause then she will probably NEVER talk to me again and that is exactly what I fear will happen. See that is why I am trying to get her to come to Egypt with me, if she says yes, well I mean thats pretty much said and done. I mean why would she really come to Egypt with me alone, especially when my parents won't be there? But if she does, before she actually buys the ticket, I will tell her what I feel, short and simple. That I really like her, more than just a friend and that I would like to spend more time with her. If she doesn't want that from me, well then she can just go home. You know its either all or nothing it all. Lol.... Well thx! hope there is more advice out there from you GURUS that supposedly get any girls u want.