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Those of you that know my story, know that after the break-up of my relationship I did everything that everybody else usually does. Firstly I pleaded with my ex to take me back, told her I loved her etc. Then she met someone else, so I cut off contact…..she kept emailing though. I then asked her if she was 100% positive that this is what she wanted? She said "Yes" She was playing games BIG time. She'd tell me that she missed talking to me, that she loved me with all of her heart (as a friend lol) and that I was a great guy/boyfriend…..but that she didn't want to be with me. The breaking point came last week when she said (and I quote). "I know that you're hurting really badly at the moment, but I know that you'll meet someone that is going to treat you like you deserve to be treated" Well, needless to say I saw RED. Here I was receiving pity from this woman!! I just could not believe how little respect she has for me – firstly to play the "Push away, pull close, push away again" game….and then to give me pity because she thinks that I am having trouble moving on. Especially when my inability to move on is directly related to her mixed signals (ie Actions vs Words). So, my friends, I have done something that has shocked the hell out of her…I stopped arguing, stopped telling her how I thought we were meant to be and I did something extremely radical…..I agreed with her! I emailed her that after having some time to think, I had decided that breaking up was indeed the right thing to do. I told her that we were better friends than lovers (something that she has said) and that the spark had gone towards the end of the relationship (another thing that she said). I went on to say that at the time of the relationship ending I was actually relieved (that is true BTW) and that after losing sight of that for a few months, my relief has returned. In effect, I have made it a 'mutual break-up'….and you know what?......She doesn't like it one bit!! She emailed back saying that she sometimes still wonders if this is the right thing to do (WTF?) and that she still misses me. What I have done is given her a bit of rejection – instead of being the guy who has been rejected, I am actually saying that there were some things about her (in the relationship) that I didn't like either…..and it's making her as insecure as hell. She is now questioning her confidence, she is now worried about the loss of power that she used to have over me……and I am the one who feels in control. Believe me, in the right situation (depending on the break-up), this is gold! I have gone from being pitied by her to now feeling a little bit sorry for her (because of her insecurity). I have the power back and now feel (more than ever) ready to leave her behind…..because it is MY decision as well. Trust me on this – if you want to boost your confidence and put more than a little doubt in your ex's mind…..just agree with them, simple but effective.

I’ll try to keep this as short as possible. Firstly a quick summary of events: *I went out with my girlfriend for just over a year *She broke up with me about 3 months ago (to be single) *She had some regrets shortly after, but when I expressed the same regrets, hers seemed to disappear *Since the break-up she has exhibited some jealous behaviour – when I mention other girls (friends) she responds with “Who is she?”, “Do I know her?”, “Do you like her?” Now to my current situation: I went overseas for 4 weeks and we chatted occasionally on messenger – we ended up getting into an argument and I told her that maybe we should steer clear of each other for a few months…..she emailed me a week later (lol) and we stayed in contact (I know I shouldn’t have). Anyway, I arrived back from my trip to find an email from her welcoming me back etc and she proceeded to contact me on 4 of my first 5 days back in the country. Now, I had suspected for a few weeks that she had been seeing someone, so I confronted her with it. She was very coy at first but finally admitted it, I kept my cool (although I was extremely hurt) and asked some questions about him. She went on to say that this guy wasn’t her boyfriend but they were seeing each other, and didn’t exactly describe him in glowing terms – she ended with “It’s not as if he’s the love of my life or anything”. I also found out that she had actually started seeing him before I had gone away. Because I was a bit shocked I said that it was ok because I was going out with a girl later in the week – she asked straight away “Is she after anything serious?”…to which I replied that I wasn’t sure. The next day, after it had all sunk in, I phoned her and asked her if she was 100% positive that this is what she wanted to which she said yes. I, with my cool hat on again, said that it was probably best if I stepped out of her life for a couple of months (I meant forever but it hurt too much to say)– she (quick as a flash) responded “Oh, it doesn’t have to be that long….maybe a month”. That was the last time I spoke to her (just over a week ago) Now I just want to know exactly what is going on in her head!! Why, if she has a new guy, would she still be contacting me (a lot!!)? Why would she put the new guy down? Why does she care if I start seeing someone seriously? Why was she so keen to cut 2 months down to 1 month without contact? (can I just say that I have no intention of contacting her) I realise that this guy is more than likely just a rebound thing, and she is possibly trying to use me as a safety net (something I refuse to be used as), but is there any chance that she is genuinely confused? I really don’t know what to do if/when (when, knowing her) she contacts me – should I meet up with her? Or should I ask if she is still seeing someone and refuse to see her if she is? I have actually lost about 30lbs since she last saw me and I must say (modestly) that I am looking A LOT better than what I was when I was with her – should I meet up with her just to show her what she is missing out on? Any advice or shared experience would be greatly appreciated!!!!

I need some opinions! Firstly, I'll attempt to make my long story short. My girlfriend has just broken up with me after over a year together. When we first got together, she had come off a 5 year relationship, but had been out of it for about 6 months. Now, we currently live in the same city and things were going brilliantly until I mentioned that eventually (3 or 4 years time) that I intended to move home. I reassured her that I would like her to come with me, and that if she desperately wanted to stay then I would not leave her. This is where things started to go wrong - we began arguing over insignificant issues and the relationship generally deteriorated. After 2 months of this, we broke up. I sincerely believe that this was a result of my declaration of my desire to move home. At the time I must admit that I was in agreement with the break-up, as things hadn't been the best between us. Now though, after a month, I have come to realise that this could be the biggest mistake of our lives. I have spoken to my ex about this and promised that I would live wherever she wanted us to, but now she says that she "Needs to be single". She doesn't want me to wait for her, and she is not actively looking for another relaationship, but she just wants some time on her own. She has displayed some natural insecure behaviour (ie regularly asking if I have met someone new etc.), but hasn't expressed any desire to reconcile with me. My question is this - Is it possible to want to be single even if you are with "The One"? Or is it just a polite way of letting someone go? I'm sure in my life I have been single because I wanted to, but I don't ever remember having that need if I was going out with someone I loved. Any opinions would be appreciated!