MissieP

Oy.... I wanted to play poker with you tonight online I hadn't logged in quite some time actually but suddenly you wanted to play me and I ignored you and now I am deleting my account. It was a tough,tough thing to do since that was our thing playing poker together but I just couldn't do it anymore. I almost felt sick but I know in order to heal I must sever all ties with you and that includes online poker even if it's virtual it still counts as contact and I must let you go..... Go with your girlfriend play poker with her but leave me alone I did like our poker games back when we dated but that was then this is now.

I was thinking of wishing you a happy easter but thought better of it and for some stupid reason I kept thinking you would message me but oh, yes I remember Markus is self-centered he would never do anything like that. I remember last thanksgiving i wished you a happy thanksgiving and you didn't say one word to me not even a thanks. Markus I am getting better everyday and I admit I still think about you but I know I am better off without you because all you did when we dated was make me miserable sure we had some terrific times but majority of the moments were miserable the end......

Sigh.... I am thinking about you again ( why,why?) Baseball season is starting up again and I remember when we used to watch Mets ( my team) and Pittsburgh ( your team) I always remembered how much you promised me you would take me to a pittsburgh game and I so wanted to go because it would be a little getaway and a road trip at the same time and here I am thinking about you and wondering if you are going to take her to a game. I would be heartbroken I am not going to sugarcoat it and say yes we are broken up whatever who cares get over it. Yes I am getting over it everyday slowly but with the baseball season starting back up it's hard for me not to think about you and remembering how many times you promised a game to me and remembering the good times we had watching the games at the sports bar. I know you can do whatever you want with her and it's not my problem anymore but honestly do you expect me not to obsess and think I bet he's taking her to games since she's sooooo freaking perfect. Ugh why does this week make me so bitter? Work is draining me;(

I hope you do not call me anymore loser or should I said text me. I do not know if it's you or your girlfriend doing the texting but whatever the case is leave me alone! I am not into childish games and when I say leave me alone I mean it got it? I ignored you the last time so hopefully you will take a hint.

I do admit I still think about you ( part of healing I suppose) I just hope one day you realize you could of had it all but you played me like a fool. It's your loss........ You really are pathetic!

Forget you,forget you..... You are so not worth my time and energy anymore. I have looked at past e-mails and I have realized I am much better off without you. You were never nice to me and I wish one day karma bites you and you realize how mean you really were but you are so self-centered it probably wouldn't even phase you.

Chin up Second I feel you......

LOL maybe I need to do that to my ex. I mean get a photo of him and a punching bag I need to get rid of these crazy thoughts

It is one of those weeks.... No idea why Why do I keep thinking about you when you treated me so bad? I wish I could shut off these thoughts!

I am in Pittsburgh visiting some friends today and my sister told me to ring up my ex since he used to frequent Pittsburgh alot and I told my sister the same thing I am going to say right now..... I am trying to move forward and not backwards and as much as I would love to ring up my ex and tell him about my adventures in Pittsburgh I simply cannot and will not. Believe me it is a hard thing to do when I am itching to do so but as I said I need to move forwards and never backwards and I am staying hardcore NC and trust me it is a very,very tough thing to do but it is for the best. I do think about you Mr. Ex but I need to move on and calling you is simply not an option.

Dear ex- I will not send you a get well text or have any sympathy towards you because you feed off of that stuff I know your back hurts but remember you left me and you came after me for breadcrumbs and you came back saying how you had changed and how she is a great person so even if you are drugged up or even if it was accidental why are you calling me in the first place seeking sympathy? Shouldn't you be getting that from the girl you left me for? I am done talking to you and I am done having the pity parties for you I am done,done,done! Please stop contacting me and move on with your life. I am trying to move on with my life so please move on with your life and your wonderful new girlfriend. Thanks! Missie

ENA is the best Everyone is here for everybody! Dearest X- I hope you are happy ( sarcasm) and I wish you nothing but the best ( sarcasm)

I hope one day you get your own taste of medicine. I wish you could realize how mean and how badly you treated me and tossed me away like I was a piece of trash I love how you say I have changed BS! I know you haven't changed!! Sure you may of changed for the time being but let's check back in 3-6 months and see how much you have changed because I know deep down you will never change and you will always be the jerk who broke my heart and tossed me away.

Okay.....Maybe some people can shed some light on this for me......3 weekends ago my ex invited me to a wine tasting event we had a grand time and as he was dropping me off he said don't be stranger! Hope to hang out again I tried not to be a stranger texting him random things and he ignored them and that was the last straw! He doesn't want to talk to me guess what I don't want to talk you either and he hasn't spoken to me for 3 weeks now. I am confused.... Why say let's hang out again don't be a stranger and ignore me from here on out? Why didn't he say right then and there Missie I had fun hanging out but it has to end right now. Why lead me on and make me have panic attacks and horrible headaches if it was all a big joke to him? I want to cry.....

Officially 2 weeks since I haven't contacted him and I feel sorta good and sorta sad . I just wish it would go away! Why can't I stop not wanting you back in my life? Why? I should be counting my blessings but instead I just want to hear your voice. Why is this so difficult and why do I want you in my life even as a friend?