wickedbusa

I agree. You need to give her that space so she can think about her decisions. It will be difficult, but many of us here have been through NC. I had a difficult time myself, but made it through. You may realize that you are better off without her. I did and once I realized that, it was my decision to take her back when she realized she made the wrong decision. For the record, I didn't take her back. Stay strong, go out, have fun, and put yourself first for a while.

Sometimes there isn't time for work, eat, and sleep. In my case, it seems like it's just work and nothing else!!!

It sounds like you are not really ready for a serious relationship. If you are not happy and not willing to accept a person for who he/she is, you can't honestly and truly love that person. For what your boyfriend lacks, the other guy can provide, and vice versa. That's not going to work. I am sorry if I sound harse, but it is reality.

Very true. Through my many experiences, I have learned that when one is in love, it is VERY easy to not see any faults of the person you are with. That is, until the day comes and something bad happens and you realize that everything is not perfect. Being in a relationship takes work, but I feel that most difficult of all, one must learn to divide his/her time between the person you are in a relationship with and everything that was in your life before that person came into your life.

Well, here we go again. To make a long story short, I met this girl shortly after my ex broke up with me 4 months ago. When I first met her, she told me that she wasn't seeing anyone. So, we went out a few times, hit it off, and slowly became attached to each other. After a couple of months, we began to spend more and more time together, and even went out of town for a weekend. Well, I come to find out that she has a boyfriend. She tells me that all she does is argue with the guy, and yet, she refuses to break up with him for me. It has been several weeks since I found out she has a boyfriend, and yet, she still continues to talk to me like nothing her boyfriend doesn't exist. I was involved in a previous relationship where I got attached to someone who was married (I was also married at the time ). I refuse to be in that kind of relationship again. One day she acts like she is about to leave him for me, and the next day she talks about how she is considering letting her boyfriend make things right one last time. This girl and I get along extremely well, share the same interests, and despite only knowing each other for four months, feel like I've known her for years. I tried to not get attached to her in the beginning of the relationship, but after spending so much time getting to know her, I have come to realization that I love her. However, I can't live with the fact that she has a boyfriend who she hates being wih, but refuses to let go of. Should I just walk away from this relationship? Everytime I try to walk away and leave her alone, she gets in contact with me and tells me that she can't be without me in her life. I love her and care for her very much, but I can't live with the fact that there is someone else there. Would walking away now be the right choice? I don't want to leave, but if she isn't going to leave him for me, I'd rather be hurt now than be led on and hurt later.

NC really does help. It did wonders for me and helped me get through some of the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. I moved on, met someone new who treats me like I want to be treated, and a few weeks later my ex decides to come back. Well, by the time she came back I didn't want her back anymore. I'm happier with the new person I am with. It's strange because when I first broke up with my ex, all I wanted to was to get her back at no expense. After taking a step back and looking at my life, I realized that i could move on without her. Since moving on, I feel as though I have so much more to offer to my new relationship. Hang in there, things will fall into place, I promise.

My ex made contact with me after about a month and half of no contact. I moved on with my life, got back on my own two feet, began to date again, and have been doing things to better myself. Last week, she was trying so hard to get in contact with me. I didn't reply so quickly because I was just shocked to hear from her again. Last night, her and I had a long chat online and she revealed to me that she still loved me. She told me that she still thought about me and had been wondering about what I have been doing for the past few weeks. She told me that I sounded very confident and strong, while she still felt the same as the day her and I broke up. It's kind of strange, I got back on my own two feet, but she is still trying to figure out what is best for her. Life just gets really weird sometimes and things that you never expect always happen.

UPDATE - Well, I was supposed to see her in class last night, but she didn't show up. Her daughter got sick during the course of the day so she missed a class. I haven't made any more attempts to make any kind of contact. Since she is part of my learning team at school, I SHOULD be seeing her on Monday when we meet, Thursday at school, and Saturday for a make up session at school, AND for the dinner plans that her and I had previously made. Until the next time I should be expecting to see her, I guess it's back to the good ole NC rule.

Scout, advice taken. I haven't made any phone calls since the second call. I am going to see her tonight in class and I am focused on just school. Her and I did have a dinner date set up for a week from Saturday, so, I guess I will hopefully find out how she's doing today. I'm taking that step back and lettings things fall where they may, for now at least. She's a sweetheart and last thing I want to do right now is push her away. Thanks Scout (and of course, goddess) for the advice. I'll hang in there and keep you guys (and gals) posted.

Yup, I've been playing the phone game for a LONG time now, hehe. In fact, I'm in the middle of playing it right now. Sometimes it's just really hard to tell what is going on in someone else's mind

The phone can be a wonderful thing, but at the same time, it can be your worst enemy. If I had a dollar for everytime someone told me, "I'll call you back," I would be rich by now. Problem is, 99% of the time, I DO NOT get that call back. I always end up calling myself. In your situation, I would just go ahead and call, she told you to call her. Now if she told you that she would call you, then I would wait. But that is not the case here. I say call her and see how it goes.

I've been thinking about whether or not shhe has a reason to avoid me and as far as thee I can tell, I don't see any reason , I think. I mean, everything has been wonderful up until the last time I talked to her. I just wish I had some kind of sign that she is still alive.

Ok, here's the deal. I went out with this girl from school a week and a half ago. Her and I really hit it off and at the end of the first date, we kissed. This was on a Friday. Well, that weekend, there was a death in her family and for several days, I gave her her space to deal with the emotional trauma. She called me the following Wednesday and everything was back on track. Since I go to school with her, we went out Thursday night, had a blast, and at the end of the night, we hugged and she actually made the move to kiss me. On Friday, we had lunch together, had a blast with lots of interesting conversation, and at the end of the "lunch date", I leaned over and kissed her. Her and her family did a car wash thing this past weekend to raise money so she was pretty much busy her whole weekend. I last spoke to her on Saturday morning, just to say hi. I tried calling her Sunday night, got her voicemail, so i left a message. Since the services for the death in the family was Monday and Tuesday, I didn't call, nor did I expect her to call. Well, it's Wednesday now and I tried calling her a while ago and i got her voicemail again. I left her a message again asking her to call me. Now, my question here is, should I be freaking out because I've gotten her voicemail the past two phone calls? I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt that she is really busy and can't talk, but in the back of my mind, I kind of have this feeling that she is avoiding me. Should I not be feeling this way? I really miss her and just hearing her voice right now would make me feel a lot better. I don't want to blow up her phone by calling her like crazy or anything, but I was going to try calling her again tonight before going to bed. Can someone please give me some feedback, especially the ladies off this forum?

Ceema, thanks for clarifying what I was trying to say

Call him back, you never know. I actually gave my number to the girl I am dating now and she called me back. We have gone out a couple of times and it has been nothing short of wonderful!!! If you are interested in him, why not give him a call. If I gave you my number and you called me back, I would like it