XxMaErCs13xX

Thank you for that Mousty. It did seem like all the other posters (no offence) were simply focusing on "do you want to get married, or don't you?" - Of course I want to marry her!! I do, but like you said things have to continue to improve like that have been lately. I really think it's a bit soon since we just moved in. AND I see what you're saying about her seeing moving in together as a stepping stone towards marriage, and me seeing it a different way. I've always had a desire to marry her. It's just that things are JUST NOW starting to get better, that's all. I don't want to rush into marriage and things fall apart. So I have to admit that the way things were between us in the past does haunt me from time to time, and I'm a bit scared things will get that way again if I rush into things. Oh, one more thing. Not to get too personal, but she and I NEVER use condoms. Our son was totally unplanned, I love him to death, but we didn't plan it. - I tell her when I get home from deployment that we're going to start using them, because I'm not ready to have another child anytime soon. AT LEAST until our son is two (if we're still together of course). When I tell her that she's totally against it, saying that she's taking birth control and it should be enough. Saying things like I'm questioning if she's taking the pill daily or not, and I've NEVER questioned her. I've never doubted her. I trust her when she says she takes it. BUT, I'd rather be safe than sorry. Sure certain birth control pills will provide somewhere around 99.9% prevention of pregancy. BUT what if that .1% is the 'little engine that could' that makes it through? Then I'm having another unexpected child, which is what I'm trying to avoid. She gets furious when I bring up the fact that I want to use condoms tho. What am I to tell her when she doesn't respect me in that sense? She says she's respecting what I want by taking the pill (since I don't want another child right now), so I should respect what she wants and not worry about using condoms. Personally I think that's BS, but maybe that's just me. I don't know; help me out!!

I really don't know what you're trying to say, Beec. U make it sound so cut and dry, which it probably is. Do I not look at the things she says from time to time?? Making it like it's not good enough for her to be living with me? Is it ok that she's tellin' me stuff like she's tired of playing house?? - c'mon man, I wrote this for a reason, to get you folks' imput. - This isn't about my decision to get married, I wrote this in order to get some advice on what I should do about her saying what she things she's saying to me about marriage. Saying that I'm 'having my cake and eating it too. What the hell is that supposed to mean? I'm not doing anything wrong or anything like that. - I need some more imput people!!! Help me out!!

My girlfriend, and I have known/been involved with each other for 3 years come Dec/Jan. Thing have been really rough with her over the years (if you look at my previous posts I'm talking about the same girl) - I broke things off last June ('05) because I was tired of her nonsense, because it was non stop. Two weeks after the break up she calls me telling me she's pregnant! SO, we go through the pregancy still broken up. But I'm at every appointment, every pregnancy class, etc. Finally this past Feb she gave birth to our son. I wasn't planning on getting back with her for anything because I felt she hadn't changed. One day this summer I'm at this pic nic and happen to be sitting in front of a pastor. He and I get to talking, I mention my son, he asks, "Oh, so where's your other half?" I'm like, "umm, no other half for me. His mom is at home with him" - Next he starts preaching in a way about how the parents of a child should be united and all this other stuff. I tell him he has no idea how many chances I gave her but she still couldn't get it together. That it wasn't like she messed up once and I just took off. - Then he starts talking about forgiveness 'n all sorts of other things. We spoke for a while, even invited me to his church for mass the next day, which I attended. I guess shortly after speaking with him is when I had my 'change of heart', which is why she and I got back together about 2 & 1/2 months ago. & a month later we decide to get an apartment together. Now it's the 3 of us(including my son). and things are slowly, SLOWLY getting better. But at least they're getting better. For a while before all the problems started I thought she and I would be married some day. But I let go of that idea soon after she started with her nonsense. But now that we've been living together for a few weeks she has mentioned marriage a few times. Her mother is retired military, so my girl has been getting her benifits, medical, dental, etc. BUT come Feb that goes away because she's turning 21, and for those who don't know 21 is the cut off for military dependants. SO, she won't have any kind of coverage in a couple of months. I'm also currently deployed, playing army in the 'sandbox' as some of us call it. Since I've been out here there was one time where it got bad between us because I wasn't feeling the idea of marriage, just yet. She'd make comments to me saying how she wasn't going to have any coverage and she needed to look out for herself (which is totally true), so she made a comment about joining the military. This is what upset me though. She makes comments saying that she "doesn't want to play house" that if I'm not at least thinking about the idea of marriage then she doesn't want to be with me. That I get to have my cake and eat it too because we're living together, do everything as a couple, but we're not married. - She likes to say, "our son deserves us to be together." Now, I don't know if you read my previous posts to get a little hint of what I've been dealing with when it comes to her, but I'm not ready to marry this girl. Not because of the past, I'm not holding on to the past at all. It's just that we JUST got back together, and JUST took a big step by moving in together. - Oh and she said I didn't want to take a risk, like I was scared of taking a step in life. I'm thinking, "I had a sudden change of heart, thanks to the pastor, and THEN we move in together,.....but I'm not a risk taker?!!" - I don't know!!! - AND it pissed me off when she says, "playing house" like moving her in with me isn't good enough. How could she say something like that to me?!!! I'm not happy with those things that she said to me, but on top of that we JUST got back together. We're just now starting to get better when it comes to the arguments and things like that. There's less arguing, less fighting and it's great. BUT I feel that since we're just getting into the swing of things marriage shouldn't even be brought up at this point; I don't know, that's just me. She's not going to pressure me into marriage just because she doesn't have anymore coverage, or 'cause she's tired of "playing house". Just thinking about the fact that she said that to me makes me furious. Saying that if I'm not thinking about marriage when I get home that she's going to leave. Shoooooooot!!!! I love her to death, but because of her saying that I'm THIS CLOSE to telling her "BE GONE!!!" Man man man, I don't see how she could say that to me. It makes me feel that all she wants is to get married, to me of course, but that's all she wants, in my eyes. - When I marry I want it to be because I WANT IT, not because I felt pressured into it. I wouldn't want to resent the lady I'd be living with. - What do you think??

I live with the mother of my child (I've written about her in the past, if you look at my previous posts). - She and I were broken up for over and year and got back together about 2 1/2 months ago. Now, during that break I met a friend of my sister's and we instantly had a massive crush on each other. She's my sister's best friend and they stay in the same dorm on a college campus. She and I have hung out a handful of times, maybe 7 or 8 times total, but there's no denying that there's an attraction there. I tried to pursue things with her a few times, but it's hard because the college is 2 hours away from where I stay. I couldn't see her everyday like I would've like to, she was always busy throughout the school year anyway, with her classes and various exams and projects. So I figure let me wait 'till the summer break so I can try and make something happen then. BUT she takes summer classes that keep her almost more busy than she was during the regular school year. I tried countless times to hang out with her but it never happened because the classes kept her so busy. I was a bit discouraged 'cause I couldn't see her but was totally understanding that her classes were so demanding while also working as a waitress. So I knew she was busy, and I actually liked the fact that she was so dedicated to her studies. I mean I asked at one point during the summer when was the next time we'd see each other and she told me it would be a while because the classes were so demanding. So, that's that. Like I said before, my current girlfriend and I were still broken up at the time of all this. The 'college girl' was so busy & I wasn't pursuing anyone else. Meanwhile I'm spending lots of time with my girlfriend and my son. The more we hung out the better things seemed to get, like I said we had MAJOR problems before. But since 'college girl' was so busy it gave time the chance to heal the wounds between my girlfriend and I, so we got back together. Shortly after she and I got back together my sister gets a call from 'college girl' saying that she wants she and I to up to the city to chill with her. So we're at a party hanging out, waiting for 'college girl' to get there and she gets to the party and stays for about 5 minutes, says hi to me in the coldest way, then leaves. Apparently we were to meet her at this apartment complex to go swimming in the pool. We get to the pool and I see her with a little group of her friends, people she worked with. She and I still hadn't said anything to eachother. Se we're in the pool, i'm talking with my sister and cousin, 'college girl' swims over and says something to me pretty out of line, then ('cause we had all been drinking) instead of holding my tongue I snap back at her and she and I start arguing!! - Shortly after we don't speak anymore for the rest of the night. (that totally caught me by surprise!) The next day we go see her at her apartment and things are still awkward between she and I. We go to her room and I fall asleep on her bed (we were all hanging out in there). AFter a while she wakes me up and we're alone in the room. She tries to flirt & joke around like before and of course I can't stay mad at this girl that I've had a huge crush on, so I joke along with her to try and ease the tension between us. (not crossing any lines 'cause I was in a relationship at that time, it was harmless friendly flirting). Later on we all go and have lunch somewhere before we head back home. She and I may have flirted a bit in her room, but things were still awkard between us for some reason. I wanted to speak to her about why she snapped at me the way she did the night before, that's what was bugging me. So after lunch when we're getting ready to leave I pull her to the side and we talk. I get her to tell me why she acted the way she did, bringing her to tears, which made me feel bad. She was sad that my girlfriend and I had gotten back together because she knows damn near everything that's happened between us since I told my sister. She and my sister are best friends so naturally my sis is going to vent to her. She was scared for me because she didn't want me going thru more drama and hard times with my girl; she said I deserved better than that. Know I know that at times ladies will say all the right things when it comes to getting what they want, but I know this was genuine. She's a God fearing woman and I know, or hope, she wouldn't say things to me in hopes of getting her way. - But after we talked and I dried her tears we hugged and I went home; I haven't seen her since. My girlfriend knows that there was/is an attraction there, but knows nothing ever happened, and nothing did. She and I had been living together for a little over a month before I had to leave for another deployment to the desert. Things had really been improving between us, and naturally I'm happy about that because she and I have a beautiful son together. Now, the day I'm leaving to come out here I get a few texts from 'college girl', one which asked me "why didn't you ever pursue anything with me when you had the chance?" - I wrote back telling her that we had only been around each other 7 or 8 times. We had only been alone 2 times, once when I first met her, and that time in her room. I told her that, along with her living 2 hours away and staying so busy with school (which i totally understood), made it hard to try and pursue anything with her. I tell her that i know the type of guys she's dated in the past and that I'm not like them at all. She's always getting cheated on, or giving in too quickly and letting them get what they want, then they take off. I'm not about that. I've never been about that. I like getting to know a woman before I actually get involved with her. I told her that, no matter how big a crush i have on her I wanted to get to know her. THEN I throw in the fact that I DID try to make something happen over the summer, but she stayed busy with school, so what could I do? I say that it gave time the chance to heal the wounds between my ex and I, which is why we got back together. I know if 'college girl' wouldn't have been as busy she and I would've been together and my ex would've never had a chance. I always loved my ex, but I was tired of the BS and wasn't going to wait around for her. But being that she and I have a son together I was always around her and the baby, and things just got better over time. But I told 'college girl' what I did and never got a response. I've been out in the desert and almost 4 weeks and she still hasn't said anything about her question or my answer. - Even if I shoot her an email everyonce in a while she won't respond. As you have probably figured out, this 'college girl' is the woman who I've been dreaming about. Now, I've NEVER had a dream about my current girlfriend, the one who I've been involved with for almost 3 years, minus the time we were apart. But I've had dreams about 'college girl' since before I left, so I know it isn't because I'm away from home. - I've had dreams about her since before she asked me that question, so I know it isn't because she hasn't responded to my answer. Even though I would like a response, I'm not going to bug her about it. - - - - I don't know, but I've had a good amount of dreams about her since my ex and I got back together. She even told me she had dreams about me. I don't know what else to do or say. I woke up this morning and couldn't go back to sleep because I had another dream about her. I just laid there wondering how or why I'd dream about another woman when I'm involved one already. It's really bugging me. People tell me to ignore it, that they're just dreams...., and I have. BUT it's dream after dream after dream! and this 'college girl' is always in my dreams! - What does this mean, or what can I do?? Some advice on my situation would be GREAT!!! THANKS!!!!!!!!!

She's a really good friend that i've known for about a year and a half now,...which is about the same length of the abusive relationship that she's in. Now, when we first met we were all buddy buddy, calling, texting, hanging out all the time; not crossing any lines at all because she and I were both in relationships. But we just generally got a lot very well. Now she's always told me about her BF since back then, about how he was very controlling, possessive, insecure, ya know...the usual stuff things that make up a rocky relationship. I told her that she was too good of a person to put up with that nonsense, but that I'd be happy for her as long as she was happy. Of course like most people tend to do, she stuck around to see if it would change,....and of course like most rocky relationships it didn't get any better. Things got bad, to the point where she couldn't do anything anymore. She couldn't speak with me, along with any of her friends anymore. He'd check her phone to see who she'd been talking to, or texting. She HAD a MySpace account...and he used to check that too. He would get mad 'cause she and I would comment each other back and forth. Anyway, I say she HAD one because he eventually made her delete her account. It was the same for any email account she had; he'd check them all. - She and I would RARELY speak once all that nonsense started. I met her in the summer of '05 so this has been going on for a while. I always told her that if she didn't get out soon it was only going to get worse and worse over time, and it has. She just happened to call me tonight out of the blu. She tells me that it's already come to the point where he's hit her a few times. She's changed her cell number and NO ONE ELSE has the number except her father. It's to the point where she doesn't do anything other than work, school, and be with him all the time. Other than that she doesn't have much of a life. Now I guess what I'm getting at is even though I've never turned my back on her, I've always been there when she needed to vent to me about her problem (her BF of course). She's always told me that she feels rotten for stabbing me and her other friends in the back in a sense, but she's glad that I've never turned my back on her. I'm glad she appreciates me being there but I feel since she and I are such good friends, and since I care so much that I should do something more. In this situation I don't feel that there is much I can do without over stepping any boundaries. I have friends that tell me just to let her be and let her make her own decision, she'll wake up eventually. And others say to take matters into my own hands and do something about it since she's a good friend of mind, even though to do ANYTHING would be totally against her wishes. I guess I'm kind of stuck here. I don't even know if there IS anything I can do since I'm on the outside looking in, u know? But that's my, or her delima. Any advice would be great. Thanks for taking the time to read this!!!

Ok ok first things first, I've written a few other "topics" on here, and if u happen to want to know a little backround information on the relationship I'm going to be talking about, just look up the other topics because they all have to do with the same lady (I'm still with her and STILL trying to make it work) - READ THE OTHER TOPICS AND U'LL UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN - anyways, lets get to the matter at hand. Well, about 2 weeks ago her and I took some "space," we had a nasty breakup. She actually is the one who said it, but I'm the one enforcing it. She has this really bad habit of using the term, "come and get your STUFF, i can't do this anymore" & "it's over" VERY loosely. We'll get in a heated argument and if one of us doesn't back down she usually ends up saying one of those "catch phrases" of her's. - Earlier in the relationship we had our differences and our disputes, but for the sake of the argument, I would back down....or let her win, whatever u want to call it. SO, there came a point when I put my foot down and wasn't going to let her win, or think she was right all the time. Whenever we argue and she was in the wrong (which was the majority of the time), the arguments would be so bad; but I couldn't let her think she was right if she wasn't, u know?? - - Anyway, so like i said, 2 weeks ago, we got into that argument,....she said "come get your STUFF" & and I did. - Here's the thing. When I got there I wasn't ready to break up with her, because I love her. I knew she was just saying that because she was angry,....but I couldn't let it slide anymore. - Oh, and she had the nerve to call me while i'm headed over there and say, "I just need to know where we stand." ...so naturally i said, "u told me to come get my stuff, right?? - I'm coming to get it as we speak." - THEN she says, "oh, thats no problem, u can come get your stuff; I just need to know where we stand." - - Now,.....do u see how she was trying to turn the tables on me...and make it like I was the one who was going to decide where we stood?! Tell me ladies, when a woman tells her signficant other to "come get your sh!t, i can't do this anymore", ....doesn't that mean that the woman wants the relationship to come to an end??!!! PLEASE correct me if i'm wrong!! - - - Now, I get to the house and the first thing she does is give me the puppy (that i bought for 'us'), and go to the kitchen (mind u, i'm out on the porch, with the car running; i went with the full intent to get my stuff and leave). She finally comes outside telling me that she wanted to talk to me; I politely ask for her to get my things, that I wasn't there to talk. She insisted again that she needed to talk to me; and I asked her again to get my things. We were going back and forth with that a few times until I finally got irritated and told her that I didn't want to make a scene, but that I would go get my things myself if she didn't get them for me. She said she'd get it if i turned the car off and listened to her. - - - So once I put my belongings in the car I TURNED THE CAR OFF and stood about 5 feet from the porch (where she was sitting). She asked me to sit down so we could talk, but I told her that I could hear her just fine from where I was standing. She asked again and I declined again; That continued...about 9 more times, with her getting more and more frustrated each time she asked and I declined. Finally I reached a point where I had enough of her. I honestly wanted to hear what she had to say, but was getting irritated with her being more worried about where I was standing rather than telling me what she needed to tell me. So I gave her one more time, and told her that if she didn't say what she needed to say that I would leave. *sigh*,....she asked me to sit down again,.......so I turned, got into my car, & drove off. - I know this may seem a bit harsh and mean,...but what am I supposed to do?? let her have her way, when she already messed up by throwing "come get your STUFF" at me like it's nothing. Those are serious phrases to say to someone thats in love with you; and whomever they are being said to usually don't take it lightly. & it's not like I didn't give her plenty of chances to say what she needed to say. - - - So like I said, we are now taking space. I told her that I loved her & wanted to be with her (which I do), but couldn't be with her until she worked on the things she needed to work on within herself. Things that would make her a better person, and would also help our 'relationship.' She calls it "pushing her away" She says, "don't be surprised when u push me away so much that I'm gone for good." - She actually threatens me She would rather stay together so we could work this out "together." - But I've stood my ground and we're still currently taking our space. - - - We still talk on the phone from time to time,...still tell each other that we love each other every now and then (it depends on what mood we're in). - But she called me tonight, this morning i mean, at around 4:20am or so. I appreciated the phone call, like I always do; I'm just dead tired. - anyway, she tells me about her day, asks about mine,...and THEN decides that she wants to be playful and talk dirty to me. I honeslty don't mind that at all, it's fun; but to be honest I wasn't in the mood for that,...I mean....it was 4:20 in the morning, ya know?!! But I play along for a little bit, talk dirty in return. But she continued and....I didn't (because I was TIRED!!!!). She then asks why I wasn't playing along with her and I told her because it was late and I was a bit tired, and she just catches a little funky attitude!! She starts telling me that I'm ungrateful, that I don't appreciate the 'little things' that she does. That I should appreciate a phone call & dirty talk from her no matter what time it is. - I'm just on the other side of the line thinking, "what the...?!!!" Does she not know what time it is?!! that people are usually sleeping this time of night!! I'm going to tell u like I told her, I do appreciate those phone calls and the dirty talk. I appreciate all the 'little things' she does, and has done for me. I just can't seem to figure out what I did wrong tonight to make her so upset. - - She continued to lecture me for a while,......then things calmed down and I tried to have a normal conversation with her & she wouldn't talk to me; she was 'bothered' about what happened earlier on the phone; in which she started to lecture me again. Finally I got irritated and told her that she wasn't going to have me all pissed off this early in the morning. - AND she has the nerve to say, "u see, thats exactly why we're not together now. Because you don't want to listen to me!!" MAN!!!........it took me a lot to keep my cool when she said that,..but I did. I just told her that I would talk to her later, to have a nice day,...and goodbye. *CLICK!!* - - - - - - now, ladies,.......or whomever is reading this, because I would take advice from ANYONE who took the time to read all of this!!! Just PLEASE tell me what it is that I'm doing wrong with her. I've tried, and treid and tried with her. I hope u take the time to read my other topics that i've posted because you'll have a better understanding of the relationship and what I've already delt with. - - Thank you for taking the time to read this entry and PLEASE give me some advice, words of wisdom, SOMETHING!! lol, THANKS!!!!!!

...Well, it's been 4 days since she broke things off. She feels bad for what she did; she knows she over reacted with giving me all my stuff back, ...but i think she still needs some time to "reflect" on what she did. I mean, on Saturday she was all pushy about "lets talk; we need to talk," I tell her that I'm still bothered by what she did & I would need some more time before her and I spoke; she wasn't trying to hear that. I know how I am, and I know that naturally I'd come around and want to talk to her, BUT she started being all persistent and pushy about the 2 of us talking telling me things like, "well, i'm outta work, are we going to talk tonight or what??," and i told her no, since she couldn't stop being pushy. THEN on Sunday, @ church, she came up to me asking me if we could talk after church, and I told her no 'cause I had things to do (which I did), but she wasn't trying to hear that either. - - She starts getting pushy about it AGAIN which started pissing me off, & finally comes and says something like, "Is this how u want things to be?? If so then I'll just leave and be out of your life forever." *sigh*...so i tell her, "Goodbye," and she gets up and goes back to her seat. - She was sitting with 2 friends of mine who after the mass tell me that she was crying the whole time after what I told her & blahblahblah. - - - Then she approches me and starts talking about the situation, crying her eyes out. I can't help but to hold her close and try to comfort her a little, because as much as she hurt me I still lover her very much and I hate to see her in so much pain,...BUT she did it to herself, ya know?!! - Then she starts saying things that weren't making any kind of sense like, "why do I have to wait until YOU'RE ready to talk about things?," which started making me a little mad, so i would tell her that I was leaving and she wouldn't let me leave!! that happened about 6 or 7 times at least. Then finally she said the right thing that pissed me off enough that made me walk off for good, she grabbed my arm & I snatched it back from her and kept walking. It wasn't very nice of me,....but i wish she would've just let me walk away...'cause thats what I was trying to avoid. - - Later that day she text messages me telling me that she was sorry for upsetting me and that I was right in saying that she should just wait until I was ready to talk about things & thats where it stands as of now. I really want her to take all that has happened this weekend and learn from it; I want her to be a better person. - I dont' know what to do about it tho. On on hand I love her to death and I want nothing more than to be with her IF she's a changed person after all of this,...and on the other hand I feel that if she is this way now....then maybe she'll never change....so why should I even consider going back to that?? I'm really stuck right now and I have no clue what to do.......

Yesterday, my GF of almost 9 months broke up with me over the DUMBEST thing. Ok, the day before yesterday she mentioned her and I going to pick my sis up from college. My sis and her are butting heads at the moment so I knew that my sis wouldn't be too cool with that, but I asked anyways to see how she'd feel about it. My sis didn't like the idea, which I tought was a bit messed up because my GF was trying to make an attempt to speak with her and my sis just kinda blew her off....like she has in the past. - So I told my GF that I wasn't going to go to pick my sis up. - BUT, i was unaware that I had the day off yesterday; my dad says, "We'll go early in the morning to get your sis," so I figure I can go pick her up (making her a bit happy), and then I'd have the rest of the day to chill with my GF. But when I told her (my GF) it didn't go exactly how I expected... She just starts going crazy, getting all mad, saying things like, "You said you weren't going to go & now you're going; i'm tired of your lies," and, "Why are you going over there to make your sister happy, she doesn't even care about your relationship with me; she doesn't deserve for u to do that for her." - I get mad first of all because she tells me that I'm a lier, because I didn't lie, I simply changed my mind in the morning. - and I could see if we had something planned for the whole day, BUT I didn't know I had the day off, so I wouldn't have been getting off of work 'till after 4 anyways, and we were back from getting my sis WAY before then; but she was mad anyways. - I begin to tell her that I just figured I could do something nice and pick my sis up, and then I'd spend the rest of the day with her. and she wants so say something stupid like, "oh, so I just get your LEFTOVER TIME?!!" THAT made me a bit mad because how could a person that really loves me consider any of my time as leftover time; I was back from picking her up at 1pm........and we could've had all day,.......but thats leftover time...in her eyes anyway. Oh and then (this is still the same phone call from the morning; me letting her know that I was going to get my sis), THEN she's like, "I don't even want to be with you anymore." I'm continuously telling her to calm down and to think about what she's saying, 'cause she likes doing and saying stupid things out of anger. she didn't listen to me tho. After we hang up I head out so I can go get my sis. She calls me asking me if my roomate is in the room, I tell her "no." She then tells me that there will be some stuff outside of my door waiting for me; and THEN she says that she's taking the $270 dollar stereo that I bought her and leaving it at my door, just like that. - I went by her house, and she was putting the radio in her car, piece by piece, so I went and took it off her hands. - Then i get back to my room before i actually headed out to get my sis, and saw that she did leave some stuff at the door. Just things that I bought or gave her: cards, clothes, pictures, stuffed animals, EVERYTHING i ever gave her. - That just made me mad too. Not that she was going to leave that expensive radio out on my door just like that, just the simple fact that the way she was acting showed me she she didn't appreciate anything i've ever done or given to her. It showed me that I could give her the moon and if she got a little pissed at me for something stupid, she'd just throw it back at me. - it showed me that she didn't appreciate the time i gave her,...'cause if it wasn't enough time in HER EYES, then it was considered leftover time. That isn't all of it though. She calls, & calls, & calls me ALL day long and I don't speak to her AT ALL. Her friends call me and tell me that she's going crazy because I won't talk to her. That I'm messed up because we had been together for so long and I just wanted to end it like that. and i'm like....."umm...SHE'S THE ONE WHO STARTED ALL OF THIS!!" she's the one who wanted to act a fool, make a little scene and give all my stuff back to me, and all the stuff i gave her back to me. Now, I knew she would've been a little mad, but to act the way she did was just immature; it was stupid. She wants to get mad at me because I want to end on bad terms; if a break up gets to the point where you're giving things back to each other....u really can't end it on good terms, u know?! - Now,...she's still has her friends calling me as I'm typing this...asking me to please talk to her. and I'm like........I've put up with a lot of her funky attitude. She always wants to get mad over some dumb stuff, I always put up with it,...i let her know,...but i let it slide. - and it's like.....they way she acted yesterday, pulling this little stunt......I can't just let it slide; or at least I feel like i can't let it slide because she'll never learn. & she'll always know that....."oh, he can get all hard and put his foot down,...but give it a day or 2 and everything will be ok",...like I'm a pushover or something. I can't let it slide. I figure,....she mad her bed....now she's going to lay in it. - it's so hard to be this way, because I'm so in love with her,....but i've always been a bit mistreated by her. I'm just tired of it. I love her, but I want her to change. I feel tho, if i just up and talk to her....and eventually get back with her......she'll think she'll be able to get away with anything, u know?? We'll see what happens.

Well, I've been with my GF for almost 7 months now and things have been good for the most part. We're always together, doing whatever comes to mind. I do so much for her, I love her to death. But at times I feel I "spoil" her.....a little TOO much. It's at a point now where she expects things to happen. Even though she says she does, it doesn't seem that she appreciates all the little things I do and have done for her. We've gone through our share of arguments; gone through our share of "breaking up and getting back together" in a day or two. I can't stand the fact that I do so much for her and when one little thing goes the way she doesn't want it to go she just goes off on me, always talking about, "I'm done with all of this" blahblahblah,.....then when I go off on her in return....she gets mad at me telling me that it's over. - - I feel she knows how in love with her I am, and just how willing I am to do anything to make the relationship work & she uses that against me. When she does the whole "breakup" thing, she still calls me like if we're together, and still expects me to make time for her,......."because if I love her and want to work things out then I'd make time." At times, I do feel used & that she takes me for granted. & she loves *keeping tabs* on me, and I can't STAND that!! It's like I don't have her full trust. She's insecure about *something*. I know you all who are reading this don't know me at all, but I know I've never done that girl wrong; I've been nothing but sweet to her. I guess I'm just tired of the arguments, the nagging, (her) getting mad about stupid little things. - - I'm honestly down to the last straw though. I feel if she throws it in my face again and tells me "it's over" 'cause of something stupid; and what I mean with I say *something stupid*...it's like,...when I tell her I'll call her later on.....30 minutes will pass.....and she calls me back b!tching at me about why I didn't call her like I said I would. & believe me, it's gets even more stupid at times,.....but I love her so I just deal with it. - I'm tired of it, but I stick around because I love her, and I would hate to lose her. What can I do to make things better....for the both of us?? thanx for taking an interest in what I had to say.

My girlfriend and I have conficts here and there. I honestly think it's based on what has happened to her all her life with her father. He isn't a part of her life at all. When he was around he was, for the most part, just full of sh!t. He used to do the whole family dirty, from having affairs with her babysitter, to beating her brother, to lying through his teeth. He doesn't care for her at all. He never calls her, not for her birthday, on Christmas or any other holiday, not even on the day she graduated from high school. He won't call unless her brother tells him to call her, & that still isn't very often. But he's been full of nothing but lies and deceit. But it seems when I tell her things she thinks I'm lying, or that I won't come through. She's told me that she doesn't fully trust me; she doesn't trust me with her heart. I'm so in love with her and I have totally opened up to her & it hurts to know that she doesn't fully trust me and hasn't fully opened up to me because of what has happened in her past. - I've been through plenty of heart breaks with the ladies in my past and I was never able to open up to anyone after those incidents. But I meet her and she really cares about me and shows me that I can open up to a woman and trust her with my heart again. It honestly took a lot for me to open up to her, but I have & it seems I haven't gotten the same in return. She gets on my case for the stupidest things too. Like the other day I tell her I was going to my cousins' house for a sec before heading to her house, and she just goes off. She starts saying, "oh, you're going to go there and stay all late and try to come here all late, i don't think so. you know what, just go to your cousins' house; don't even worry about coming over." Now, it takes me having to get all loud and worked up, but she eventually gets the picture that I'd only be ther for a little bit and then I'd head over to ther house. She always starts an argument about something stupid like that. I don't know if it is an issue with her not totally trusting me or what, but as you can see, it's a bit of a problem. I love this gyrl with all my heart, and I know she loves me too,....but all this 'arguing over stupid stuff' is slowly starting to get old. I don't know what I can do about it. I don't know if it takes breaking up with her for a few days or weeks, or leaving it alone and letting her realize on her own that I'm not her father....that things can be better no matter what she's been through. I really want this to work but she needs to work with me too, ya know?? and if her past is going to keep interfering with our relationship, I don't know if I can keep on dealing with it, especially if i don't have to. - I just really love her and I don't want to give up on this love that I've longed for my whole life and finally found. - What can I do??