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So we spoke last night. I tried to frame it in a way that wasn't too formal or serious but then I didn't wanna just brush it off after saying something bugged me prior to last night. She basically didn't add much, said that she knows how to fake but hasn't with me, since there isn't any need to because she never hasn't enjoyed it and that if she didn't enjoy it or didn't want to engage, she would just say. Its hard to buy this given she just seems like she'd keep shtum and keep any peace rather than risk causing conflict, hurting feelings etc. *It* wasn't awkward after that conversation and maybe, aside from all of this I just need to be more patient and take my time more in the bedroom department. I'd like to hope we aren't just incompatible and that communication can rectify some things, but I just think she's the kinda girl who goes with the flow, isnt one for deep and serious conversations or any kind of conflict, says yes (even though she wants to say no), puts the pleasure of others infront of her own etc

No face to face

I dont know maybe like others have stated its born out of some kind of insecurity but also I just go off my intuition and maybe that'd wrong.

I've just asked her and she says there isn't ever a time she doesn't enjoy it and she would say if she didn't, so I just gotta take that, even though i don't fully buy it

That's brilliant advice honestly thank you. Since texting her the whole we need to talk thing I've since realised - since at that time it was fresh and I was angry and hurt - that the anxiety I would cause her by saying we need to talk makes it seem this huuuge conversation when really I should make it comfortable for her by making it alot more low key

So I'm supposed to either (a) just know or (b) walk? Is this your 'advice'? Communication Communication communication

I mean I cant speak for any man but myself but maybe, just maybe the combination of the female orgasm being harder to achieve and also it being a conclusion of sorts, entices alot of guys in to that being their final goal. I know I have fell victim to this sex philosophy, and visibly still do, which may I add I dont think is as harmful as lying! Like I just said to another poster, it is not so much her faking it (even though this isnt good), but it is the fact I (a) havent communicated this sooner, (b) she never seems to initiate any kind of deep, meaningful communication like this, (c) she seems to please rather than be brutally honest. Underpinning all of this is COMMUNICATION.

Then why not just say 'im not feeling this'? A core of clear, honest and non judgemental communication is absolutely pivotal to a good vibe of a relationship and one hundred percent a deal breaker for me if not there, a long, LONG way way ahead in importance of whether she fakes it not is the fact she cant TELL me.

Why would I not care, LOL? Faking is still a form of lying and not to mention the reasons as to why she would even want to fake it in the first place? Listen I've faked it once before with a condom with a one night stand but I wouldn't ever entertain doing it with someone I'm close to, it'd wrong. Communication is key here.

I'm honestly fumbling with not the sex so much or what she might require of me but the communication aspect of it and what to say

I have text her to let her know that something is bugging me and just before she left I think she may have realised this anyway but I have not specified what it is that is bugging me and I may just play it slightly coy and say 'We can talk about it when I see you, but no biggie'. I obviously maybe should not divulge all over text but I cannot sit here until Friday or Saturday and be like 'Yeah all good, cool, all is well etc'. I would go crazy. Plus it is fresh in my mind today. Other aspects seem fine. I make her laugh. Shes smart. A little clingy but very affectionate. A few silences between us sometimes maybe.. As said above I text her to let her know something was on my mind and we can work through it when I see her but I cannot keep a smiley happy face on for a good solid 4 or 5 days until that conversation.

Communication is improving but still a bit poor. I am not the best at direct communication and she is a smiley, people pleaser who agrees with me too much. She is honest though when asked, but she will not initiate. I have had a feeling she has faked it a few times because I kinda know, and I have asked her afterwards 'Have you ever faked?' and I think she said something like 'No, I wouldn't know how'. I just do not belive that. I honestly don't pressure her mylolita, if anything, I just keep a steady pace and rough her up a bit which I know she likes, but not overly. I notice covers her face when missionary or closes her eyes but I think a lot of females do that to take themselves to a place of orgasm and/or to focus solely on touch and not visual. Do you think the only way to broach this is face to face and not over text? Because I kinda want to text her and just simply say 'Why do you sometimes fake it?'.. I remember once we had sex and literally as I finished she stayed bent over and opened up her phone ready to order food. I made a half joke out of it and kinda said that was rude but she has done it again once or twice. If she isn't red faced, unable to speak and shaky legged, I have not done what I was supposed to. I feel like I want to bring it up outright though, as direct communication is something that is not my forte and strength and if I out right bring it up I may, just may get an outright answer. While obviously not sounding too accusatory or putting her at unease.

Hello. Me [32M] and my girlfriend [27F] have been dating around 10 months and the sex has been (a) regular, atleast 3 or 4 times a week and (b) pretty good for the most part but there is one thing that is bugging me and has done for a bit now.. I think she is faking it quite a few times. How often exactly? I don't know. Since when? I dont know. Why? I don't know. She seems to get off by stimming her clit while slow doggy/missionary one leg up. There's obviously been quite a few times I'm sure I've made her cum, so afterwards she usually needs a good 5 minutes before she can speak or she's flushed or her vagina tenses up just prior or during or he whole body contracts etc. But a few times her whole body is as loose as anything, she makes a little herky jerky movement in her hips, no tensing and then when I go to touch her clit (thinking it's way too sensitive to touch), she doesn't pull back of back off, almost welcomes it. Afterwards she's on her phone within a minute like everything is normal. Kinda rude. I'm not 18 year old and clueless, I am 32 and I have had sex enough times to kinda gauge when a girl *sometimes* tends to fake it. My trouble is how do I bring it up without making it weird or awkward for next time we ***? I don't wanna sound accusatory but I also don't wanna sit there and act dumb or like I don't know/care. TL;DR : I [32M] am pretty sure my partner [28F] is faking it and I don't know why or for how long and I dont know how to approach it.

No. It was honestly moreso the conversation just came to a halt and I opted to give the whole communication over the internet thing a day or two of rest. Also semi figured it'd be a decent idea to see if she'd reach out to me, since most of it - I feel - has been from me to her.

Yes I do. After we woke up Friday morning, I walked her to work, we then exchanged texts that day, she text me back Saturday morning and I sidnt reply.