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The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

I think it was about 3-4 months, maybe? Prior to that, I tried to be friends with him and it was just too hard, and I lost a lot of my dignity during that time. NC was definitely beneficial in my scenario. He broke it, asking if I wanted to study together.

After 8 months apart, my ex and I got back together, even after I thought we were over for good. This is just my own personal experience and I don't intend for it to be a "how-to" on how to get your ex back. What helped? For one thing - and this won't necessarily be the best thing for everyone- we dated other people in between. I didn't go looking for anybody, but I hit it off with a friend of a friend at a birthday party and I decided to give it a shot. It was an enjoyable albeit brief relationship and at the time, I even thought my new bf was even more compatible with me than my ex (I even wrote a thread about it here). That unfortunately turned out to be wrong - I won't go into detail - and to top it off he was moving accross the country for a job. It was an amicable split, and I don't regret it. It made me feel confident about dating again and knowing that there were other great guys out there besides my ex. My ex and I reconnected after studying for finals together, as we shared two classes. He said he had been thinking about me a lot, and admitted that his decision to breakup was stubborn and irrational. Finally, he said that he wanted to get back together and make things better. I see so many people on these boards trying to decipher "I miss you" messages from their ex - but unless they explicitly state that they want to get back together, take it with a grain of salt. We were in NC for several months until this point. When I found out he was dating someone, I did not lash out at him and let him know I was happy for him. He later said he was impressed with my emotional maturity. We both contributed to the downfall of the relationship and we apologized to each other and vowed to work on our problems. So far, things have been going well. What didn't help? Early in the breakup I snooped on his blog, sent him angry texts, begged for him to come back, and made drunken phone calls - basically, all the things you shouldn't do. I read those stupid "how to get your ex back e-books", which are obviously designed to scam the heartbroken out of their money. All of these things pushed my ex away. Overall, I believe that letting go of all hope, going NC, spending more time with friends, doing new things, and genuinely trying to move on are crucial actions after a breakup. After 8 months, my ex and I just kind of drifted back to each other naturally without and ulterior motives or plots to get him back. Even if we didn't get back together, I felt happy and content being single. Oh, and we recently attended his friend's wedding together. And guess what? The bride and the groom had broken up for a few months before getting back together. She told him she "just wanted to be friends", but obviously down the road she realized she had made a mistake. They even incorporated the story into the wedding speeches..haha.

These last few days have been especially hard. Just when I thought I was making progress, you pop up in my dreams and it makes me feel sad for the entire day. However, I am proud of myself for going NC, despite having to see you in class. Do you know what it's like to have to see the person who broke your heart every other day? I feel sadness and anger but I will never let it show. I no longer blame myself for the breakup because I know I was the best girlfriend I could possibly be. I am not holding onto hope of getting back together. If we are meant to be friends in the future, then I am sure we will find our way to each other. Right now, I need to heal.

Yes..we had zero, and I mean zero contact. It wasn't a strategy, I just finally accepted that he was probably out of my life for good. I even had a long-term relationship in between (the ex that I originally joined this board for) and so did he. I'm still worried that things will eventually end up the same, but we were both young then, and right now the situation seems to be going well.

Sorry to bump up this thread, but as of yesterday, I guess I can now add my story to this list too. I was at work and one of my old exes came in (I work at a university where we are both students). We dated 3-ish years ago for about 6 months, and he broke up with me because he "just wasn't feeling it". I took the breakup really badly and I haven't spoken to him in over 2 years. Well, yesterday we chatted, and it was like talking to a completely different person. He looked a lot better and was very friendly and talkative..he used to be extremely awkward. Before he left, he asked me if i'd like to go for coffee, and I accepted. We went this afternoon, had a surprisingly great time, and made plans to meet again next week. I still don't know if i'm ready for another relationship so soon after my last one, but we did have a good time so I guess we'll just see where it goes. Seriously, I never in a million years thought that we would ever meet up again.

I have a few stories. I believe it does happen more often than people think. 1)My friend and her ex boyfriend dated for a year, broke up, then got back together a little over a year later. They broke up again...and got together again a few months later before calling it off for good. They dated other people in between these breakups. 2)I have another friend who got dumped by her boyfriend because he didn't want a serious relationship, although afterward he kind of led her on and tried to remain physically intimate with her. One day, he finally decided to commit, and even talked to her parents and apologized for being such a douche. 3)I have two friends whose parents have gotten back together after divorcing, and remain happily married to this day. 4) I went to school with a couple who dated in 8th grade then broke up. They got back together in high school, and they're now in university and engaged. 5) My ex boyfriend's best friend got dumped by his girlfriend, and they reunited a year later. They're one of the most nauseatingly affectionate couples I know 6) This isn't an example of getting back together but it shows how exes do come back into your life. After my first boyfriend and I broke up, I was a mess. I resorted to crazy schemes to get him back, went to parties where he would show up, and constantly texted and IMed him. I was pathetic and it only succeeded in driving him away. One day I just decided to ignore him completely and move on. Sure enough, I started getting messages from him asking what I was up to. At that point, though, I didn't want any sort of friendship or relationship with him anymore. You can't just make a plan to get your ex back. You really do have to move on first, date other people, and take some time to grow as a person. Pining over them won't help at all.