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giggle3474

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About giggle3474

  • Birthday 10/11/1977

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  1. Ok, but he is sleeping with the other girl. He and I are not sleeping together and I've told him I have no intention to until I KNOW that I am the ONLY one... Thank you everyone for your responses. I appreciate seeing everyones point of view.
  2. I have been seeing a guy for about 3 months. We started hanging out more and more and getting closer and closer. We continue to have those great nights where we will stay up and talk about anything. We both feel that we can be honest and open with the other without things getting "weird". We hang out 3-4 nights a week and usually we stay up late and he'll end up sleeping on my couch. He has been a perfect gentleman and hasn't pressured me to do anything I'm not comfortable with. I'm not seeing anyone else right now (although I was when we first started dating) and I have been dropping hints along the way that I don't really want him to date anyone else either. I feel like I've made my feelings clear and I know that he cares for me, too. Last night we were talking and it turns out that he is seeing someone else. He has been seeing her longer than he's been seeing me and he told me that she knows that they aren't exclusive and he has made it a point that we both know that we're not his girlfriend. I am crushed. I have always known there was a possibility but I never came out and asked him about it. However, I think he should have been more forthcoming with this information. He says that they don't have the relationship like we do. Their relationship is more fun and casual. They go out and are spontaneous. But he likes me because he can talk to me about things, because I make him laugh, because he feels good when he's around me. I am really upset. I can really see myself with this guy, and he said he feels the same way but he likes her too. Am I wrong for telling him he needs to make a decision? I don't want him to drag me along because it's killing me. He said it would kill him if he wasn't able to come be with me anymore and see me and call me, etc. I just think it would be too hard for me to carry on that way even if it was just as friends. And the fact that he's not able to make the decision right now...should that tell me something? If he wanted to really be with me, shouldn't that be something he already knows? What do I do now? I really don't want to lose this part of my life, but I don't want to share him. He can't have the best of both worlds.
  3. aww, i did that the very next day but he either hasn't gotten it or he's one of the few that can resist. Thanks for helping!
  4. Or maybe it's not worth repairing... I have a friend that I have known for almost a year. Over the last few months we have gotten really close. I let him stay at my house for a few days while he was in a moving transition, he helped me out when I had surgery last month. He took me to and from the hospital, waited with me, and just did a really good job of taking care of me. He also got along really well with my son. They seemed to adore each other. I wouldn't be opposed to seeking more than a friendship with him but the timing is wrong. He's in a messy relationship and I just broke free from one. Anyhow, about a week ago we had been talking on the phone. His move took him out of state and I was trying to make arrangements to go visit him. He seemed a little hesitant and he told me his girlfriend might be coming to visit him. I told him that I didn't want him to feel like he had to make a choice between her or me. I think he may of misunderstood me because then he got all excited and kinda started yelling at me. I tried to explain what I had meant but he wasn't listening so I just hung up on him. I sat there for a few minutes and then I thought about how silly it was so I tried to call him back but he didn't pick up. It's now a week later and he still won't talk to me. I've called him a couple fo times from numbers he doesn't recognize but as soon as he finds out its me, he hangs up on me. I miss him so much, I have so much to tell him and he was always there when I needed to talk or anything and I took very good care of him too. I haven't tried to contact him since Friday and I'm hoping he'll get over the grudge but now I'm just starting to get mad because he's being so dramatic about it. I did send him a letter after the argument just trying to explain my point of view but apparently that hasn't worked either. Any advice??
  5. I've posted several times about the problems I am going through with my boyfriend. In short, I said I wanted to break up with him over something I thought he did. I didn't mean it and he's been angry with me for about 2 weeks now. Last weekend, we hung out on Saturday. He said he missed me, we had a good time. He had some things to take care of but he said he wanted to get together later. He never called me, never returned my messages...basically stood me up. We talked about that and worked it out and then he called me on Tuesday. He said he missed me, he wanted to see me and said he missed the fun we used to have. We got together the following day. He was super flirty with me, holding my hand, putting his hand on my knee at lunch, hugging me, etc. I questioned his actions a bit because I was curious if he had finally surrendered to the fact that we belong together. = ) I told him I couldn't be his friend- he said he didn't want me to. He said he loved me and he wanted to keep trying even though we both should know it's gonna take some time. We ended up making love that day. It was great. He stared into my eyes, told me he had missed me soo much and it had been too long. I considered this a breakthrough. He had been so hesitant on having any physical connection between us, I took this closeness to mean a lot more than it apparently did. After that, he had to go to work but he said he wanted to see me the next day. He called me after work that night and he told me to call him when I got off work the next day so we could arrange things. I called him a few times but he never answered, never returned my messages. I ended up going through some very stressful things with my family yesterday and I was very upset. I called him from my moms house and he answered but he supposedly couldn't hear me. I tried calling back a few times but he had turned his phone off. I'm pretty sure he thought I was crying because of him and he didn't want to deal with it. I then went to his house but his roommate said he wasn't home. He called me after that and I started to tell him what happened with my family. Then I asked him why he stood me up. He said he didn't, I never called him. He could have called me, right? We got in a huge argument and he said some really nasty things to me. I feel used now. I feel like he didn't mean what he said about missing me, he just wanted sex. I feel like he is seeing someone else even though he denies it. To me it's no longer about what I said about "breaking up". I feel like he's done me so wrong, I don't know if theres anything he can say to make it up to ME. I can't cry because I have done so much of that. I'm so hurt at the way he was acting yesterday. I think I've made myself too available to the point where I've become disposible to him. He said he loved me, he said he cared about me. How could you do this to someone you care about? Theres nothing more I can say to him about how bad I feel about saying what I did. Theres nothing more I can say about how much he means to me or how I love him with everything that I am. I'm growing resentful but I still want it to work out. I still remember how happy we were even 3 weeks ago.
  6. I'm not saying that I'm not to blame. I take full responsibility for what I said *but* I said it in the heat of an argument and didn't expect it to carry as much weight as it did. I know it was wrong. I know I said it with hopes of making him realize that he was hurting me and that makes what I said manipulative. What I am getting at is that it seems like he is dragging this out. I have been through some major crap with him. From lies to me thinking he was cheating to money issues and so on. Every time we have talked it out, we have worked through it and gotten over it. But that's when he was doing things to me... I'm having trouble understanding why he can't work through this like I've done with all the other stuff. To me, it almost seems as if he knows he wants to be with me but is using this time and space to try to convince himslef that he doesn't need me in his life. I wish there was a way I could make it up to him. I've already learned not to ever say anything like this again, and I sware I would never. I just want to be able to show him that my actions speak louder than my words. I love him with everything that I am and everything that I have and I made a mistake.
  7. I've posted a couple of times over the last week about my boyfriend and I. We got in an argument, I told him I wanted to break up but I didn't mean it and I know it was wrong of me to say and manipulative. What's done is done and I can't take it back. He said he needed some time and space. We have been talking *almost* every day over this past week and I have seen him a few times. We went to breakfast this past weekend and it was great. We talked about random stuff, he said he missed me, he told me I was beautiful, we laughed we joked and we enjoyed each others company. It really seemed like we were making some progress. After breakfast he had to run some errands but he said he wanted to see me later. He never called me that day. I left him a couple of messages but he didn't call me back. When he finally called me yesterday. he was acting very strange but he said he had gotten really busy the day before and wasn't able to hang out with me. I'm not sure where we stand now. He said he still needs some time to get past this. I just don't get it. I mean I know what I said was hurtful but we've been through worse than this and I survived just fine. Why can't he? To me it seems so simple; either he wants to be with me or he doesn't. He said he hasn't even reaached the point to where he can make that decision. I feel like he's dragging this out. I don't want to sound selfish but this is so hard on me. I can't imagine my life without him but if that's the way it's gonna be, I'd rather get it done so I can heal. I felt like we made so much progress over this week. He's told me how he feels, he's admitted how much he has missed me and how bad he wishes he could be with me but he won't give in to it. And then not even 24 hours later, I feel like we're back at square one. It's so frustrating and I'm scared to call him because I don't want to smother him. I'm scared to text him cuz I don't want to annoy him but I want him to know how I feel and know that I'm thinking about him. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells and I feel a little like I'm being takin advantage of. It feels so good when we are together and that's when I feel like we're making the most progress but I have to iniatiate those meetings and then when he leaves without kissing me goodbye or anything, I feel so down. I need to know what I can say or do to just get us over this. I know we can but its so draining on me, sometimes I want to give up.
  8. I posted a couple days ago that my boyfriend and I had gotten in a fight because I "broke up" with him and now he's upset. I never really wanted to break up with him, I just wanted him to notice how he was hurting me. Since then, we have talked a little and we're being nice to each other but it's not the same and he said he doesn't know if we'll be able to stay together. We went to breakfast yesterday and I talked to him about a business plan I had for us. He was really excited about it and he took off running with it doing all kinds of research yesterday. We kept text messaging yesterday and I sent him a sorta racy text message about how I wanted to show him how much I missed him. He texted me back that it sounded good but he didn't know if he was ready for that and he would definetly agree to it if things were right between us. He keeps telling me that he's thinking about what's gonna happen but I feel like he's tormenting me. He knows how much pain I'm in and how much I miss him. He knows that I would do anything to prove my love to him. I'm so scared. I'm scared that he's already moved past this. I'm scared he's forgotten all the good times we've had and is only focusing on the things that have gone wrong. As I dropped him off from breakfast, I asked him didn't he know everything would be fine with us? He looked at me and said "I don't know but as soon as I do, I'll let you know" Then he squeezed my hand and got out of the car. We talked a few times after that and he ended up coming over to my house later that afternoon to talk about the business and then we grabbed a very qucik bite to eat. I texted him later that night and he didn't reply. I called him around 11 cuz I couldn't sleep but he didn't answer. I can't lose him. And I really would like some input on theses new developments. What can I say or what can I do to make this right?
  9. If you see my last post, my honey was recalled to the marines. He didnt end up getting out of it but he spent 2 weeks up north and now he's giving up 2 weekends a month to serve. That's not the problem... The problem is he was supposed to come back on Saturday. I had our whole weekend planned. We had been talking almost every day about how much we missed each other and how we couldn't wait until he was home. I was looking forward to seeing him so much... Saturday came and went and I didn't hear from him. I had a feeling in my heart that he was home and for whatever reason he didn't call me. I left him a couple of messages but I never heard from him. Finally on Sunday I called him from my house phone and he answered and I hung up on him. I was so pissed that he obviously had the chance to call me and didn't. He called me back a few minutes later and he asked me why I hung up on him. I said because I am now his ex-girlfriend. He asked me why I say that and I asked him why did he come home and not tell me. Did he know how I had planned for us and how hurt I was that he didn't call me? He explained to me that even though he was home from up north, he still had to report to the base and wasn't actually at home. I asked him why he didn't call me and he said because he was having problems with his phone.( He has complained about this in the past so I assume it to be true) He asked me where we would go from here and I told him what he had to do. (meaning I needed to see him and tlak this out) He said he would be over in a bit, he had to take care of some things. When he finally got to my house, he gave me the biggest hug and it felt so good to see him again. We started talking and I told him how I had felt and he seemed ok and receptive to that. Out of nowhere he got really angry with me and told me I broke up with him, there was no going back on that. I tried and tried to explain to him that I was hurt and angry when I said that and I didn't mean it. We spent like a 1/2 hour of me triying to talk to him about it but he said he was tired of talking about it and then he left. He came back a few minutes later and said he needed some time and some space and he wanted to tell me that to my face. I am beside myself with pain right now. I spoke out in frustration but I never meant it. I never wanted things to end. We just bought a car together and we were gonna move in together. I can't lose what we have. We have gone through and overcome so much. It has been such hard work and we were just about to reap the benefits. Is there anything I can do or say to make this right? I love him so much. Someone please help me. also...he asked me if there was anything I needed to tell him because his roommate said he had some dirt on me. I've always done right by my man and either his roommate's "dirt" is false or it's been misinterpreted. I can't think of anything I could have done that would make him upset. I'm scared that even though I know this, he might believe his roomate because we aren't doing so well now.
  10. Hi, Here is our situation. My boyfriend served as an active Marine for 4 years. He is 3 months away from completing the inactive portion of his contract. About a week and a half ago, they notified him that they were doing a Military recall and they needed him to report to one of the local bases. Since he found out, he has been petitioning it. He went to check in yesterday and they told him they had expected him to have reported last Thurs. and because he didn't, they consider him a flight risk and they want to keep him on watch beginning tomorrow until Tuesday of next week. He is trying everything he knows to get out of staying there this weekend and ultimatley having to resume active duty. He is all for supporting this country but he does not want to go back. He has just completed his AA degree and is enrolled in a university for the fall semester as pre-med. He would lose a lot if he was forced to go back. Does anyone know what he can do to get out of this? Has anyone else been successful in getting out of a recall. He feels like he's tried almost everything. Please help....
  11. I haven't posted in awhile because honestly we have been doing really well. He has seemed to really step up and make me feel happy to be his girlfriend. We have been talking a lot about what both of us want out of this relationship and I've really felt like we have found a common ground. I posted shortly after Valentine's day that I had found some cards from his "ex" girlfriend, Gina. I put my faith in him on that incident (he was saying the cards were old) and we settled it and moved on. She hasn't come up again until now. Basketball season is over and the University's are into recruiting. My boyfriend has been going away to basketball camp almost every weekend for the last month. The particular weekend that I am questioning is one that he told me he would be away at basketball camp. We got into a small quarrel the day before he left and kind of made up but we were both still being kind of stubborn when he left. He left on a Thursday and returned on a Sunday. I tried calling him twice over that weekend but I was unable to get ahold of him. I figured he must still be mad and was acting like a jerk about it. On Sunday I called him from a friends house and he answered the phone but when I talked, he would just say "hello, hello" like he couldn't hear me. I was upset by that because I could hear him fine and I figured he was just being immature. Later in that day, he called me saying he had just gotten back and he missed me so much over the weekend. He wanted to come over and take me out. He picked me up and we went to the mall and wandered around and had some dinner. I asked him about what happened when I had called him earlier and he said he had no reception up there and he couldn't hear anything. That was a few weeks ago...on Friday night, we went out on a date. DInner, movies, etc. We ended up back at his place just hanging out and watching basketball. As I'm standing in his room, I was looking at his wall calander and on the weekend that I was talking about above, someone (not him) had written "Mammoth" with a line through that whole weekend. Mammoth is a ski resort for those who don't know. And at the bottom of the calendar on the 27th, there was that same handwriting and it said "Gina". I happen to know that the 27th was her birthday and I had been keeping my eye open for any fishy behaivior from my man indicating he would be spending the day with her. I asked him about Mammoth and he told me that they were studying climates in his earth science class and that week they were studying mammoth. The problem is, the person who wrote "Gina" on the 27th is the same person who wrote Mammoth on the 3-6th. And I know from finding those 'old' greeting cards of his that the handwriting was Gina's. So I can only conclude that he lied to me about being at basketball camp and he was in Mammoth with her. That was Friday and I was too upset over the weekend to even talk to him. We did talk Friday night after I left and he was willing to listen to my frustration and accusations and he stayed calm just telling me that he loved me and he would do anything to keep me happy. He didnt call Sat or Sun so I don't know what he was up to on Gina's B-day and I didn't call him. He came to visit me at work yesterday and was very affectionete and took me to lunch but I still havent figured out how to approach this subject. It's killing me to think about them away in the mountains in the snow and it's killing me that she had acccess to his room (which is a hang-out spot for company) but still should be sacred to us. I can't stop thinking about it. For the evidence I have, there is also evidence that he's not cheating. I'm not naive, I know it can still be happening no matter how much evidence there is that he's not. He takes 25 units in school which is basically a full schedule x 2, plus basketball, plus time with his son who lives about 45 min away. If he is cheating, I have a feeling he's in 2 realtionships rather that being in a relationship with me and just having a physical relationship on the side like most cheaters do. Why would someone do that? As much crap as I give him about stuff, I can only imagine if there was another person, she would be doing the same. Why would someone want that stress? I don't know, I'm confused and I was so encouraged at how our relationship had been going but I don't want to be played for a fool. I love him and it would be hard to let go but I can't lose myself to him. I am thinking of telling him that I really love him and I don't think there is anything we can't work through and that I can't prove that he's cheating and because of the faith I have in us, I am willing to give him the benefit of a doubt but that the next sign I see, I won't even question it, I will just walk out. Is there anyway he can prove to me there isn't anything going on with them??
  12. yes he knows i've spent all this money. I even asked him again "are you sure" before I bought the tickets because I told them they are non-refundable.
  13. My boyfriend and I have plans to go out tomorrow night. We have dinner reservations and are going to the theatre. This night is my valentine's present to him. He has known about it for 3 weeks. Tonite I got a message from him saying , "hey baby it's me, my son is in the hospital. Call me back when you get a chance. If I don't answer, it's because I am inside." I haven't been able to reach him yet. Here's the thing. I have been really uneasy about our night out. I asked him at the beginning of the week if he sure he would be able to go. He keeps a busy schedule (sometimes i think conviently too busy) and he's very spontaneous so I have just felt uneasy about making all these plans. When I've tried to make plans in the past, it hasn't worked well. Given the history I have with my BF, I'm almost wondering if he is using his son as an excuse not to go out. I feel horrible for thinking this about my BF but I feel like I have a reason to. I have already spent mucho bucks on tomorrow night (clothes, pedicure, shoes, hair stuff, tickets) and the tickets are non-refundable. I almost want to ask him to prove that his son is in the hospital but I can't find a way to do that tactfully. I don't know why he would want to stand me up but I just had a feeling this was coming and if I find out that he's lying....it will be the straw that broke the camels back. And this camel has been carrying A LOT. What do I do????
  14. Im sorry that you are going through this. My son, who is 6, started getting in a lot of trouble at school and they were ready to kick him out of Kindergarden. Then magically about a month ago, the behavior got remarkably better. It's a tough thing to go through when you can't get inside their head and know whats going on. I would urge you to try and keep patient with him. He needs you more than ever right now as he probably in incapable of controlling himself. Sending him to his dad's house may temporarily alleviate the stress in your life but I don't think it's ultimatley the right choice for your child. Have you talked to his school about any intervention they may be able to offer? or his pediatrician? There may be an underlying cause for his behaviour (a bully at school, sexual abuse, etc) Please sick with him and continue to help him out. He needs to know he can count on you. Try and get out and have some time to yourself once or twice a week. Talk to someone about how you're feeling, sometimes that helps. Good luck and keep us updated.
  15. Background.... I have major trust issues with my man. He acts shady a lot of the time and I have caught him in a few lies. About a month ago, he left his planner in my car and I went through it. Nothing incriminating except the ID card of some girl with an address about 300 miles away. Her name was Gina. I didn't say anything about it then because I figured it wasn't a big deal but it kept nagging at me. About a week and a half ago, I was at his house and I went through his cell phone. I saw in the call log a call made to a Gina. I decided to ask him about it. I asked him who she was and he stayed quiet for a long time before he finally answered that she was a friend. He asked me where I got the name from and I wouldn't tell him. That night he kept his back to me the whole night and wouldn't hug or kiss me. In the morning he told me he was upset because I went through his cell phone without asking. I told him thats not where I got the name from. (but i didn't admit to going through the cell phone) Later in the day, he called me and asked me if I had seen a picture frame of his in his room. I hadn't seen it and I couldn't figure out why he would be calling me and asking me that. (unless it was a picture of Gina) Things were ok for the next week. I stayed the night on Thursday and we had a nice talk about where things were going and we both admitted to falling for each other. Then as I was getting my things ready to go, I accidentally knocked over a pile of his things and a picture frame fell out. I picked it up to see this girl Gina with my boyfriend standing behind her with his arms around her. I finished getting my things and I told him I found his picture frame and then I threw it on the bed and started to walk out. He grabbed me as I was leaving and tried to tell me about it but I shut him off and I left. We had a conversation about it that morning (he said she was just a friend and the picture is old) I don't have pictures of my friends in that type of pose.... He told me he would do anything so that I would believe him. I admitted to knowing about the ID card and I told him I wanted him to get rid of both the ID card and the picture. He said he would. He said he would call her for me and let me talk to her if I wanted if it would make me feel better. He said that if he took those actions to prove to me that there's nothing going on, then he didn't want to hear about it anymore. Well I'm going over there tonite and I feel like I won't be satisfied until I have him call her to prove it to me...BUT part of me thinks that even that won't satisfy me. On the flip side, I don't want to ask him to call her, I kind of see it as demeaning...or maybe I'm scared it's just a bluff. I want to get past this. I love this guy but trusting is hard for me anyways coupled with the fact that I'm insecure. And I must say that he hasn't done much to help me trust him. So what do I do or say tonite?
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