lonelyandblue

Thank you

Thank you

Thank you

Thank you. I wasn't parented and did my best but admit that I lost some "tools" what have you in the teen years and my personal fault of hating arguments. Also what I see is I spoiled and did not instill chores early on enough and I thought I was strict but now I see where I missed and not strict enough. As far as instability, A little but not a lot. I really tried to have stability for her. She is very well adjusted for the most part, but now I see more clearly my faults and also the places where I need to place correction with her.

That has been a concern of mine is rents, but she refuses to get a job to help herself, save, and you know meet people, socialize. Rents can be from $900 for a two bedroom thru $1300. I understand the struggle so I try to understand but she is a hurricane around the house and doesn't pick up after herself and doesn't have respect for me.... I try to set terms for chores and general attitude and she argues and throws nasty fits....it's not pretty and I am sad because I guess I set a poor example or something.......

Trust your gut instinct. From everything that you have stated here, it sounds like you know exactly what is going on and it is unhealthy and my advice is to run and find someone you can be healthy with.

I never expected my daughter to still be here as she so animatedly expressed to me many times that she would be out as soon as she was 18. But here, she just turned 20. She goes to college, does not contribute to the house through either chores consistently or rent and she does not work. We bicker a lot and I can't help but believe it is time for her to grow up. How do I make this happen??? I feel inadequate as a parent because things haven't worked out as she hasn't matured along with her peers...... I encouraged her and helped her write a resume. Bought books explaining adulting and leases, etc.... What can I do???

I am guessing not. You would think so given that she has a husband and a kid. But I've had enough of her having my life. I want my own back.

I have a "good" friend. But it has come to the point where even if I am ill, she will come over for hours, answer my phone, talk to my friends on IM, etc. When she talks to some people on my IM she confuses them when she says hello I am a friend of XXX, ..... I am a private person and independent. I can't take the constant phone calls etc. I am a quiet, considerate person who has a hard time w/confrentation or standing up for myself. Now she is a good person, but I seem to attract controlling people? Would there be any way to confront her about these things and keep the friendship? Or should I sever the whole thing so I can be "free" again.

Sometimes I don't know how to handle things. But today I feel rather pissed as I asked a friend if she'd like some coffee and she replies," Oh, I've got housework to do. I don't have all day M-F to clean it like some people do." Which I feel was a direct reference to me because I am currently unemployed. Then, my dad is incredibly inconsiderate by being between 2-4 hours late for taking me and my daughter "to town", as he promised. So I am a bit angry at the moment. THinking I took these things wrong. But I was really looking forward to going and now, I am so pissed it's not worth going. I was hoping that he and I would have a better time than usual because things seemed stressed, but now it really is. -Sigh- of course this would happen when I'm working hard on self-improvement.

I'm sorry. It looks like he is looking for every reason in the world to break up with you. He may have someone else on his mind, he may also be very immature. I'd go through the process and go on.

All I can do is sympathize. My life is such a mess. I haven't got a divorce yet, but planning on it due to abuse issues. ANd ever since it's like I've lost my grounding in life. I am not well. And in school I was shy and awkward, although I enjoyed university. I guess all I can say is hang in there. It has to get better doesn't it?

I am so absolutely lost. I have never known what stability felt like and I definetly want it to be different for my child. But it is not going well. I married the wrong person, got in some bad circumstances where these people in my extended family harassed me where the harassment followed me out of state. So I moved to another where I reside with my father. Well we moved into this house he was renting with the lease option to buy. Now he tells me he doesn't know if he'll meet the lease agreement and then they would have to sell this house again. which means we are gone again. I am dizzy from moving so much. And this isn't the life I wanted. and not the lifestyle for my child. I am going to get a job in July because it may take that long for the state to be able to assist me with child care costs. Then I could help him keep the house so we could stay put. But then I feel like I should buy my own house which I can't do because of bad credit. This whole "life" thing is quickly becoming a nightmare and out of control. I strongly want to hit the red "exit" button, but I can' t find it,lol. If I didn't have child, I would consider suicide. Even with I can consider, but fully know it is not a possibility. This is certainly not what I wanted for us. I want stability and safety and bright futures. I don't know what to expect, just to vent, or suggestions, whatever works...

Please give me some advise as I am stuck. I have truly gone through it all, most of it being in the last year. I have moved like 6 times in two years, two of the moves out of state. I am up to my eyeballs in debt. My husband and I are broke up and I was thinking it was temporary but now that I'm out of it, I'm going to go forward with a divorce. And now I've found a place I love to live, but I'm broke. I'm working a job and mainly it's paying for daycare right now until and if the state helps. I don't want to quit 'cause the jobs local and later I might make some money. But I'm wondering if I should quit for my daughter's sake and just be spending time with her. Don't know which is better, be a better provider, or try to "be there" for her and get her life as well as mine back on track??? She is 4 and may start preschool in the fall... Any ideas? (Sorry if I've confused anyone...)

May I suggest music as a theraputic measure?? Sorry it may sound trivial, but being in a breakup myself recently, I would recommend it. Kind of distracts you.