justice 4 ever

Dear Fusionoflove,and rmb, Thankyou. U have know idea what it was like for me to come on this web.and tell about my situation,I am glad that u r willing to be there when I was in need. I am hangn' in there ok. But still sad. Especially to Fusion, I know how it feels to be so low, I had such suicidle thoughts,but never would have actually done it cuz I knew that it wouldn't make a me feel better. Rmb,Girl I am right with you, people like that make me sick to. I think the worst part of this experience is not remembering the person who did it, and knowing that, that As***** is still out there on the loose when he should be behind bars. Thank you again, maybe sometime we can all talk again. My love truly, Justice [/b]

Thankyou both so much,I cant tell ya both how much your words and faith meant to me. I have better courage than before, and I owe it all to u. I was so amazed from how far away you were both from me, I may be from Sioux Falls but I was honored.Thank you again. You have no idea how many years I 've been depressed,suicidle, and truly hated my self for not doing anything about it. I feel so much stronger,and if any of u have ??'s about anything Be sure to ask. Dont be afraid to I dont ever get afended. Thankyou , Justice

When I was 4 years old I was raped by my babysitters boyfried. Later at age 6 it happened again by my moms friends son, he was also babysitting. I am 13 right now, and still remember every detail. Later my mom was married by a dream guy, who latter turned into the devil.The bathroom was my best friend, It had a lock on it so I felt safe. He never hit me, except spankings, which my mom is against completely! It was his words.He emotionaly abused my mom and me 4,7years. Now Mom and I r doing better ,Both were on Zoloft,Iwas on it 4 two years,but it stoped working. Now I am on Lexipro. I have the worst back, it always kills, Iwas born with a heart murmer that puts me in the emergency room once in 5,&6th gde.LIke my G-ma says I am a wreck. I've been in counciling 4 7 years. But just when things got better, my mom had met a guy. At first when I had met him he seemed nice. But then while my friend and I went along golfing with my mom and her date, I was very mean,and he just looked so fimiliar, later at home I relized he looks almost exactly like my first rape. I broke into tears.Tried so hard to stop but it felt so good to get answers. Everything flashed beneath my eyes. I was going to bed and he placed me on the bed and forces were out of controll. Then th 2nd, on the custions of the couch. Then my step dad making me cry telling me I should live under the porch,till I die. I remember living in childrens inn Where I met the most ispiration of life,a 22 yr. old black woman wih 2 kids.. We were tight. I dont know were she is now. But I wish I did. To my point. I've written this meesage to seek advice,so in the future If I see people It wont take me back, It wont keep me afraid to leave the house. Please give me advice what should do, if u were in this position what would you do?