Johy

Well it all depends on whether you are ready for that moment, maybe closure will make you feel better, then you would know that you are in peace with yourself,and wish her for the best, there is no need to stay bitter...know watta mean?? but just be ready for it. Also, you say you are "supposed" to meet, are you ready to make that call? or you think she is gonna call you? it all depends on who makes the move... In my opinion, if I see that the time is getting closer for her departure, and still NC, I would call the day before she leaves and say good bye...or you can write her a letter if you really think is gonna hurt too much to see her again.... But believe me, it will get better after it happens.... I wish you lots of luck, try to make a mature descision...it will pay off in the end... see ya!

I feel you man!! i know how it feels after you disconect! your post was awesome! it feel good right??!!!! you sound like a writer, I like the flow of your words, thanks for tha picker upper, sometimes you need to feel the next chapter is starting....

Digly D Look guy, I know you are probably still hurting from the last girl that dumped you but you need to let go...soon....it's really running your life and the way you think OK?? Yes I was questioning on why you didn't post your "I'M SORRY" message in the Forum because that first response was absurd, and yes MISJUDGED! like I said before, If I had to post my whole relatioship in this site it would take years OK? I mean be a little more realistic about your assumptions, all you ever did was assume what happened in my first forum, and you responded the same way... I guess that's the reason why you have not found anyone...you are a nut case, stop trying to judge me, you don't know me, and I don't know you so let's just leave like that OK? Now for your info....my ex already is desperate to get back with me, because he knows what he did was wrong, and you know what?? I'm not EVER gonna take him back!!!!!!!!!! So that should get you more worked up..... I know who I'm and all I did for that guy, so I leave this story with a clean conscience.... You do need to get a better life, you probably have a nice boring one, when you write such long opinions about other people's lifes. Anyway, I'M SORRY if I have offended anyone reading this...this guy just has such a low life.... I feel better that ever and I wish everyone good luck in all this love stuff... see you on my next post!!

well, yes, i've been hurt...and I believe that love was an awesome experience, but it hurts so much, from the moment you like the person, your feelings are exposed to pain and hurt, and to leave a love behind is the same as if they were dead, you no longer exist in their world, I don't believe in the Friends thing, after you break up, its all a bunch of crap from the dumper, the dumpee is just hoping that the next phone call is to get back and period. There is no such thing as friends after a break up. Although I'm greatful for loving and being loved, the hurt and the pain are too hard to bare..I don't want to go thru it again, The older we get, the more meaningful love is, the more we appreciate love,and so, the harder it is to get over it when its gone, I know everyone says is better to have loved that to never know love, and to those I ask... IS IT WORTH SO MUCH UNBEARABLE PAIN IN YOUR HEART? times change, views change, the fary tale love from before is slowly fading away, How do you know if you are gonna ever love again??? johy

hey people, although I might already know the answer to this one, I wanted to throw this out there...I've only been in love once, and I was left broken hearted....I see my life before and after, and I think i rather not have loved at all because now not only do I feel alone, but want more loving, specially from the one that doesn't love me anymore.....and now these feelings won't go away, when I was single without love pains, I felt so alive, and not that I felt like that when I wan in love, it was a different hi. Now my mission has changed, and now I want to love and be loved all the time...and this feeling is eating me up inside..... i don't know if anyone can understand this, but I truly feel that its better not to have loved at all.... Johy

It's been 3 weeks since I moved out, and two weeks since we were together...i'm the girl that opened this subject of what to do next, NO SUGAR COATING!!!! you know that DIGLY D that guy that wrote all those missjudments send me a PM apologizin for all those ugly things he said, I wonder why he didn't post his apology out here,.....FIGURES MEN!!!!!!....... so yes, its pretty recent, and I don't feel like calling, I feel like seeing him in the scene, like I wrote to you as a PM, looking more beautiful that ever.... I don't think we will get back together, that is the truth, and it hurts...

Well, he called me and apologized about telling me this, and I reassured him not to apologize because he is just expressing his feelings, and I made it sound like this wont change anything at work....but i think that it might.....and I feel bad that he had to listen how much i'm in love with someone else..... I have still nc with Brandon, and everyday i wonder more what i could have done better, and why, how,and it frustrates me to sit in this apartment wondering...I want to get out of this stage you know? what can you do to shut this switch off, I went out last night, and the night before, and the night before, I meet new people everynight, but I can't seem to fufill this hole, I know not even the nicest guy can help me feel better, and I keep missing the BAD GUY HOW ANNOYING IS THAT!!!!! IT'S MEMORIAL WEEKEND HERE IN MIAMI BEACH and I cannot make myself get out of my bed, where i seem to get more addicted to this wesite.

you know what's messed up? I just started this new job about 5 months ago, and my partner in the group just declared his love to me, well it was more like, "I'm growing these feelings for you and I can't help it", he has been there thru all my turmoil with my ex, and he has been very supportive... you know what's even more messed up? he's a great person, good looking, smart, successfull, educated, and thought of very highly at work and with friends....I know what you guys might be thinking...and NO i don't like him, I appreciate his frienship and I don;t want that to ruin my career, this job is the opportunity of a life time!!! and last night he declared his feelings towards me, and I told him I liked him a s a great friend, and he understand, I mean, I'm in love with another man, and my job was my gattaway place, now, things might not be the same, i don't know...

yes, it makes sense, He actually just called, and apologized for telling me this last night... and I told him that it was OK, and not to apologize, he was just being himself. I just fell really concerned because from what I know and from what people tell me, he has not had a g/f for 6 yrs, I mean "A REAL G/F" he's dated and seen other people, but the feelings of a true relationship he has not felt for that long, and last night he said that finally he knew that he can still love, because those feelings had been forgotten...ISN'T THAT DEEP???!!! And for some strange reason I believd him.... Anyway, thanks for your advice, i now know I made the right move... chao

Well, I've been in similar situations before, but this time is different, I just started this new job, and it is the opportunity of a lifetime... Our job requires us to work together...and the worst part of all this is that he is a great guy, successfull, nice, a gentleman, good looking, I mean everything a girl can want... he is in his late twenties, and is in that stage where he wants to settle down, and all he needs in his life is a girl to complete him... I just came out of a 2 yr relationship (two weeks ago) I moved out, I'm broken hearted, and my partner(work) has been there to support me when I;m feeling down...we have gone out to eat after work, during the week, and he knows all my relationship turmoils, he gives me great advice, and has been very supportive. I like him as a friend, and right now I'm not ready for a relationship, AND, my job is my life right now. I'm in love with another man, and we can't get it together, he's one of those bad boys, AND THEN this great guy in the wrong place at the wrong time (literary) comes nockin on my door Last night he declared his feelings for me after a great dinner, and I was very understanding about his feelings...but I let him know that I want to be friends. Idon't know how work is gonna be next monday, but I don't want to hurt him either..................

WOW!!! SOMEONE LEFT YOU HUH!!!! You just opened a can of worms my man!!! Well obviously if I had to sit here and write my whole relationship down, it would be longer than your e-mail.... First things first, I didn't walk away from the relationship, that is the last thing I wanted to do, I love that guy with all my life, I gave him everything you can imagine, I did the impossible to keep the relatioship going, I was always the voice of reasoning when his explosive ways would make anyone run...I was in a verbally abusive relationship. Tne screams and the yells, the cursing, it got bad at times...Then I would come back and try to make it all better. I was there helping him built his house when all his friends were too busy to help him paint, or cut, etc..I was there, because I loved him. he would come home and dinner was ready, breakfast every single morning, and lunch for work everyday, I loved doing all these things for him, it made me happy. I was so involved in him, that I slowly lost contact of friends, and even family, it was always his family time, and never any time for mine, after a while...I'm sorry it's just not right. Millions of times i put my ego down because I loved him, and it didn't matter because I really cared. I lost a baby with him, it was the most horrible experience...but we got thru it...... and it made our relatioship stronger for a while, Then his explosive behavior was the reason for our arguments, not because we couln't work things out, because in the end we always did, but all those hurtfull moments, they just didn't go away. Emotionally, I tried to see the good in all his wrong, I was not perfect either but I can say sorry when I needed, he said it maybe once, maybe twice...but that's it. I left because we sat down one day and he said that he wasn't happy anymore, we had been fighting too often and why waste our time? I had left that weekend before to a family wedding which he didn't want to go to, (but he did party his a** off here in Miami) and when I came back that is what he had to say, and so the first thing I asked is if had met someone that weekend, and he said NO... I was always there to work things out, even till the end, even when I moved out, I wanted to maybe try it again, because i believe that moving in together was too fast, specially when we were already having some problems. He knew how I felt, the night before that horrible day, we had planned to see each other, we had spoken on the phone and set a time, he knew all along I did want to see him, so what happened to him??? was it the other girl that messed his schedule? because like you say it takes two to tango right? someone looked for him and he looked for her? He just GOT BUSTED trying to play games,, I KNOW HE WOULD HAVE TRIED TO PLAY COOL and called me the next day...or next week...what ever the point is that we were not over and he knew it... until now. He knew I didn't want o let go, he knew how much it hurt...he saw me cry, maybe too much. When I met him he had a 4 yr realtionship and so i let him go, we saw each other two years later and now he had 6yrs with her, and he left her. His father left his mom for a "youger and newer version" like you say of his mom, he did it a couple of times actually, and now his son turned out just like his father. You can't make people change unless they really feel in their hearts to change. No I didn't dump him, and Digly D what you wrote is not the truth, so I didn't swallow... But i like your honesty, you are a straight guy! My original story can be twisted anyway you want, after all averyone is different right? All i know is that he still has no right to do what he did, and YES, thank God that I have a good job and supportive friends, it all makes this situation better, Thank God that i was there that morning, because it just gives me more strenght to love myself a little better, rather than love someone who is already loving someone else. I came accross this website just like you, wanting to know if I was alone, and then you wrote back because you've been there right? The only thing that I can agree with is that yes some of it can be my faults because I should have know better..... I'm tired of arguing, I'm here to try to become a better me... and because I like to know what I'm not alone. hope you get this message everyone!!! I'm still looking for the right desicion, ALL opinions are stll welcome!!!! see ya! JOHY

Thanks guys and girls, I have been reading thru some stories, and I believe that time can only make things better, as much as this hurts, I need to move on...I just wish I can press the Fast Forward button in my life! (lol)..

Hi, I'm 25 yrs old, this last weekend the most dissappointing moment of my life happened. I really need some guidance and advice on where to go. I gave two years to this man who, we shared a house together. before us, he had a 6yr relationship, and w/o wasting time we were involved. We had real good times, we had real bad times, but we had deep loving, I really felt loved, and I really believed this was it for me. We had all those good talks about future, kids, marriage, and life. We argued plenty but always believed we could work thing out. I'm more passive, he is very explosive, never phisically aggressive but his temperament is very short. I truly believe he did try to control his temperament sometimes, but it was difficult for him. i always tried to be understanding....but for the past few months anything would trigger an argument. I moved out two weeks ago, and decided to NC, Several times he called I didn't pick up the phone. I knew he was already hanging out with his no good friends, doing who knows what, he's a good looking guy, so there is no doubt in my mind of what could happen. This weekend I broke the rule and picked up the phone when he called, and we set up a date to meet, "to pick up the mail in his house" so he never c/b that night so I went to sleep. The next day I had a funny feeling and decided to pick the mail up myself, I called when I was at the front door, and painfully found out there was another girl in the house. This has been the worst thing that has ever happened to me, and I never thougt that it would. It's only been one week since we were last together, how can someone else be in my bed, and in the house that I gave so much love to make my home??... At that moment I was calm and just spoke softly to him and said to forget that i ever existed in his world and to please neved call or look for me again. I left crying....I now feel that this cannot get any worse..but I don't hate him...I know that he will never look for me again. I have a great job, live in a nice apt. and have supportive friends, but I still feel alone and very sad, and taken like a fool. I know we were not oficially together, but does that give him the right to be with someone when he last called me was still telling me that he missed me and wanted to see me?? I think he just got busted trying to start playing games, and I just had that weird feeling... Please give me some real advice withous sugar coating, I don't know what to do next.... thanks. Johy

I think he already knows you love his music, you have been to a few of his shows, so, no need to become a groupie like you say, just be cool, I'm sure he's gonna thank you for being there next time, maybe don't show up to ALL his appearances, that will just get him used to you always being there, get lost for one or two showings, and then pop up one day, and see if he realizes you were not there..know watta i mean? and maybe you can strike up a conversation about othert than music, I bet you he will remember that encounter. This situations is very tricky, because like you say he probably gets more A*** than the toilet, so try not to get so involved in this one, and let time tell you where to go, don't sweat it girl, take care, Johy.

well, we spoke several times after I moved, I was gone on business for two weeks, and during that time he would call, and I would mentione that maybe this is for the best for both of us, and we might have moved in too soon, and we didn't get to share a normal relationship, I moved in with him, because my parents had to leave as an emergency to my Country, and so one day i had no where to go, and I moved in. and we had been working on his new house for one year, breaking walls, painting, and so forth... After my move from his house we didn't have an official plan of where to go next with our realtionship, but the feelings were there, the need to see each other was still mutual...so wether it was a break or a break up, I don't know because it was too soon to tell...i was letting time take its course, and decided to give him some breathing room, and I guess it backfired on me...what can I do now???