skynet74

I was in a 10 year relationship. She pulled a 180 on me as well. For 9 years she never wanted to be without me. Then in year 10 the last thing she wanted to do was to be with me. I learned a very important lesson. Once someone decides to leave, you really need to Trust God and just let them go. The more you try to keep them around, the more resentment they will build up against you. Besides... you will be happier without her anyway. Afterall you don't really want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you...... right? So at this point your best option is to simply let her go without a fight. If it's meant to be, she will find her way back on her own. It's not up to you to do anything. Just move on with your life like you never met her. As difficult as that is to do, it's really the only thing to do. It will all work out. You'll see.

Yes that's right. My ex-girlfriend of 10 years turned into a major Jerk in December 2003. We had planned a marriage, a family and a life together. It all came to a roaring stop when she felt the need to start lying and cheating. We attempted to get back together for a few months at the beginning of 2004. But the "REAL HER" who I had loved for 10 years basiclly vanished. No longer to be found. She had become a cold bitter person who didn't even want to be friends. She would tell friends that she didn't want to talk to me, she would hang up on me repeated times for no reason other than wanting to be cruel. Then to top it all off she even changed her phone number. You would have thought that I killed someone in her family. That is how badly she treated me. The only explanation that she ever gave me was that she did not hate me, but she just didn't want to be with me anymore. Whenever I asked her what I did that was so wrong? She would tell me that I didn't do any ONE THING that wrong. It was just all the little things. Well in my opinion if she threw away 10 years for little things... then what is she going to do with the Next Guy or the one after that when little things get on her nerves??? So I decided on September 26th enough was enough. She showed me no respect and acted like she didn't care if I was dead in the road. I KNEW that I deserved better than to be treated like that. I have not contacted her since. Has it been tough? Well the word tough is an UNDERSTATEMENT. The first three months was a hell as I hoped and prayed that she would make an attempt to contact me. Well after 200 days it has not happened. I still talk to her sister online every once in a while. Apparently my Ex has a new boyfriend who I knew about from the summer anyway. It's become apparent to me that she looks at Boyfriends as Place holders. Easy to replace because sooner or later another one will come along anyway. So I think she did me a favor. She wasn't always like this. But it's a perfect example of a girl who did a complete 180 and totally lost her mind. She became a total CREEP! It still saddens me to this day, but sometimes people just "LOSE IT!" This brings me to today. How am I doing??? Much much better. I met the sweetest girl online in January. She lives about an hour from me. We fell in Love and plan on getting our own place together soon. So don't forget that even for those of you who feel totally hopeless. Things WILL GET BETTER. Even though you can't see that now........ THEY WILL GET BETTER!!!! John

121 days of No Contact. I can't stop counting! lol ;-)

I think that most break ups are a result of your significant other being interested in someone else. They just ususally don't tell you that. They give you some lame excuse why they are leaving. Bottom line is that there are very few people out there who know how to be faithful these days. Even the ones you think will never hurt you are often the same ones who WILL. My Ex and I were together for 10 years. She totally changed from an Angel to a Devil over a very short period of time. It's now been 17 Weeks since I last spoke to her. I had no choice but to go the No Contact route. She became so rude and disrespectful towards me that I just couldn't take it anymore. So I decided to vanish. She'll probably contact me when she finally regrets what she did. But for now..... I'm staying away. Yes it's hard. But so is life. it's to short to waste your time on someone who has decided to turn into a chronic Jerk. Hurts like hell. I know this. Takes about a year to recover to a point where you are kind of ok again. Stay strong and know that you deserve better. That's why God pulled you apart. So he could bring you someone you'll be happier with. John

Dreams can be weird. I've had two serious relationships. Both times when I was in the relationship I had dreams about us breaking up. A short time later it actually ended up happening. So I really believe that they were premonitions. Recently I've been having dreams of meeting back up with my Ex-girlfriend. In my last dream she was hugging me tightly telling me she was Soooo Sorry for what she did. She kept saying she was So Sorry over and over. In my dream I tried to comfort her by telling her it was allright. So..... Was this a Dream (or) could it have been another one of my Premonitions? I don't know. Only the future will tell. John

After my girl broke up with me I lost about 50 Pounds! I know how it feels to be heartbroken with no appetite. As I look back I am glad that I lost that weight. Poeple comment that I look 10 years younger. Weight loss always makes you look younger. That's the one good thing about it. Just eat right, get exercise and turn it into something positive. Sounds like you are on the right track. John

Did you ever notice they never tell you about the problems during the relationship when they can still be fixed. Instead... they wait till after when it's to late. People really need to learn how to Communicate! John

She's probably going to laugh and shut the door in your face. Those types of things work on TV... but I don't know of any time it has worked for real. I'm not saying that you can never get her back. But I think your approach will end up with you driving home alone crying your eyes out in your car. You may want to think the possibilities through before you even think about trying this. John

Just a curious question. My Ex and I were together for 10 years. Lived together for almost the entire time. Things fell apart a year ago when she decided to see if the grass was greener on the other side. We briefly reunited for a couple of months..... but then broke up again for the Final time in MAY. She just didn't want me anymore. For the next four months I tried to do everything possible to get her back. She just kept pushing me further and further away. She finally got to the point where she did not even want to be friends with me. She then changed her cell phone number so I would stop calling and proceeded to let me just fade out of her life. I'm 36. She's 31. She was always very loving and caring. However near the end of our time together she suddenly turned selfish. Started drinking more, partying more, Dating around and just not caring about anyone but herself. She started this reckless lifestyle which is very uncharacteristic of the person she had always been. When she first left I looked at her behavior as signs of an early Mid-Life crisis. Some agreed. Others didn't. So anyway.... I made my last phone call to her on Septemvber 25th. That conversation was the final straw for me. I was about to move out of the home we had shared. Told her I may move to the other side of the country. I asked her if she wanted to see me to say Goodbye. Her response to me was........ WHY? For me... that was it. She kicked me out of her life and with that one single word she had just put a Giant Exclamation Mark on the end of our relationship. To her I was not even worth seeing one last time. That hurt me to no end. The simple fact that we shared 10 Close years together and she didn't even have the tiny desire to see me again. It's not like I ever did anything bad either. She even admitted that I never did any One Thing that was that bad. She told me that it was all the little things that drove her nuts. The nitpicking etc... that all couples eventually deal with. But for some reason it got to the point where it became to much for her. It's very sad though because I still love and miss her deeply. Not for the person she is now... but for the person she was for most of our relationship. To me.. that will always be the REAL her. So my question is this. How long a period of No Contact has to go by before it becomes unlikely you'll ever get back together. Is there a point where it just becomes totally hopeless? It's been almost four months since we've spoken. I have not attempted to contact her and she has not contacted me either. As each day passes are we a day closer to being together (or) are we just a day further away from ever seeing each other again? I would like to think that she won't Always hold onto this grudge, anger and/or resentment that she seems to have towards me. We were always so close. She turned into a totally different person towards the end. I guess I am just waiting for the nice version of my Ex to hopefully return. As much as I try to get over her .... I still miss her. John

I've been cheated on twice. Both were long term relationships. The cheating usually happens right before the break up. One partner or both partners are not happy. Cheating takes place and then things continue to get even worse from there. I've always found out when my Partner has been cheating. The secret can not last forever. Someone always screws up. Then before you know it the Cat is out of the bag. From first hand experience I have also seen that once a person cheats on you... they will do it again in the future to the next person and then the next... and the next. If someone cheats on you it is basically a character flaw that's built into that person. When they feel something is lacking in a relationship.... instead of trying to fix things with their partner, they will instead try to find the missing piece by hooking up with a new person. Unfortunately instead of satisfying their urge and making things better... it often results in everything just totally falling apart. If you are serious about your Mate..... Do not EVER CHEAT. No matter how little the chance is of you getting caught. It remains a Fact THAT YOU WILL EVENTUALLY GET CAUGHT. Before you know it.... Your one little harmless fling starts to destroy your life as things start to come out in the open. NOT WORTH IT. John

youre in love w/ being in love. you love the way things 'used to be ---------------- That's the problem when people split. They often remember how their EX used to be. This is why it's so hard to get over them sometimes. I have the same problem. I Love my Ex for the Beautiful person she once was...... but I absolutely hate the person she turned into. If I could just forget about all the good times and remember the Bad instead..... it would have made it a lot easier to get over her. I think this is what happens when they decide to break up with us. Something in their brain makes them Do the opposite. They are able to hold onto the bad instead of the good. So it's easier for them to say Goodbye. I think as times goes on they start to think of the good a little more. This is why they sometimes try to come back to us. John

Hey Thanks for the quick reply. You certainly seem to have a good grasp of Life for only being 19. Same goes to you "Ated". It just goes to show you that no matter what age we are...... We all still experience the same Crap as each other. It is those experiences that allow us to grow into more knowledgeable people. Knowledge is power and I would say that we have some of the most powerful people right here in this forum. Thanks to you all for making the last 100 Days a bit easier for me. I've made some great friends here. I'm still going to stick around even when I find a New relationship. I've learned that this place isn't just for people who need help, but it's also the perfect place to help keep your current relationship in perspective. It allows you to have a greater appreciation for what you have. That's definitely a good thing. thanks everybody. John

Well today marks 100 days since I've last talked to my Ex. Now that I'm into the triple digits I realize that it's ridiculous for me to continue to keep track. Afterall.. when does the madness stop? Do I keep counting to 200... 300... 500? As we enter into the new year, I do believe it's now time to just move on. I did not receive any kind of contact from her over the holidays. No cards.. No e-mails. Not a single well wish. I wasn't particularly bothered by it. That's probably because I wasn't really expecting it anyway. So I made it through the holidays just fine. If she feels she can do better than me.... then I wish her luck. There was a reason that I opened up my Personals mailbox yesterday and found 72 responses. Obviously someone finds me attractive. Of course.... not one of these women lived closer than 200 Miles from me. How's that for Bad luck? Nonetheless.... it still made me feel good. So my Ex's loss will be someone elses gain. I'm Done. I'm sure that I will still go through good and bad spells... just as we all do. However I'm not wasting my time on somebody who can no longer give me the time of day. The World does not work like that. Actions speak louder than words. If she can't show me that she misses me.... then Screw it. "THAT IS IT." I won't be calling. If I can do it for 100 Days... Then I can do it for a Lifetime! I'm not investing my time in someone who doesn't think I'm worth it. I personally know that I'm worth it. But if she can't see that..... then she doesn't deserve me anyway. When her next boyfriend treats her like garbage.... she'll suddenly remember the fun that we had and how much I was always there for her. Only then will she realize how much she misses me. If that call ever comes.... I will let everyone here know about it. Happy 2005!!!! John

They say they care..... but they obviously don't care much. They only care when we have something they want. They only care when they have nobody else to take our place. But the second they see someone else cross their path who they think they like better... that's it for us. We are history to them. History... until the new relationship doesn't work out. History until they start to realize what they lost. On the day of regret we'll get that phone call. The one where they say..... "I Don't know why I acted like that". Well I know why you acted like that. BECAUSE YOU ARE A JERK! John