PlayingAces

Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen.

I enjoyed this! I think you could very well add more to it, and make an even grander impression upon the reader.

Your poem obviously has a tremendous amount of feeling. Your poem is very straightforward; if you were in a poetry contest, or writing for college, it may be thought of as being juvenile in quality. Poetry is all about interpretation, and when your work leaves no room to guess or imagine, fewer people can relate to it. A few things to work on - definitely your rhyming pattern, or if you're into free styling, perhaps try to make it a bit more complex by discovering new words to use in your work. Proper grammar and punctuation always improves upon any kind of writing. Also, along the same line as making things more complex, symbolism is always a great way to be able to express what you're feeling without just laying it all out there, so to speak. Hope that helps! I think you have a lot of potential. Writing, like anything else, is something that will require time and patience, but it's the passion for what you do that will make all the difference in the world! I hope your next poem is a little more positive, too!