Zuri

I just came accross your journal. Read page 1. Thank you sharing. I'll continue to read page by page. Just page 1 made me smile.

I AM at peace and I have ALWAYS left you alone. YOU are the one who keeps trying to contact ME. Nothing you wrote in that last text even matters to me anymore. It's been almost two years now since the initial bu. I have finally moved on. I'm committed to my boyfriend and you really must leave me alone. I don't want any trouble or problems. Take care and much love and success to you.

That youtube video is bull$hit! You're not "still in love". You only feel "in love" with me when I'm out of the picture. Furthermore, you have NO IDEA WHAT HURT FEELS LIKE. HURT is what you put me through in June. So, please spare me. By the way, so glad to know you're still hanging at the bars getting drunk with your mates since that was way more important to you than our relationship.

YOU have been unfailrly treated? After all thats been said and done and you have the nerve to say that? Just admit it: you want to live single but have me at home waiting for you, cooking for you, serving you your meals, doing your laundry while you do as you please. Staying out until almost 3 in the morning on more than one occasion within a 10 day period. REALLY? Sex once every 10 days??? REALLY? And then do I even get my rocks off from those "seesions"? NO. I have been emotionally and physically unfulfiled by you the last TWO years. Oh. Except when we break up and you come back and I stupidly take you back then for about a week you communicate and touch me. Then you go tepid. So because I nipped it in the bud before YOU could dump me again YOU have been unfairly treated. BWAHAHAHA! I deserve better. Being without a man is better than being with the man that you have become. You can't come back. I'm not angry BUT if you disturb my healing this time by knocking on my bedroom window in the middle of the night I WILL call my brother. And if he is not at Alma's then I WILL call the police. Be in peace and please let ME be in peace. I do not love you anymore.

I miss you so much.

I wish I could hate you. But I don't. I miss you terribly.

I saw him last Sun June 26, 2011. He said he doesn't want to talk to me, spend time with me, and to give him some time. Mon June 27, 2011 was day 1 of NC. I miss him terribly. I don't even want him to contact me. I mean, I think about him missing me and showing up at my apt or calling my son to get in touch with me but I know this is not what is best for me. What is best is for me to have NC at all because I need to get over him. This is the biggest challenge of my life. I MISS HIS LOVE SO MUCH.