broken1414

P.S. I ran into the guy I ALMOST cheated on you with Friday night, he's back in town. Wouldn't you like to know who he is? You know him. You hung out with him. He saw how unhappy I was with you. He was there many of those nights you weren't....Gawd, how I wish I had followed through with my urges then instead of worrying about hurting you. Little did I know then, you would have deserved every second of it. I will give you a hint - he's friends with my old roommates, you played poker with him, oh, and he has the same name as you! HAHA!! He said I looked really good, he looked good too, but he always does. I had a crush on him forever! Timing was never our thing though - he once asked me why I didn't give him a chance before I went out with you, by then it was too late. The reason? It was because I didn't know he was into me, otherwise I would have probably never wasted 5 years of my life with you. Now, of course, he's back in town after living in Montreal for a while, and I'm with a new man again. The new man is worth it this time though! If only I had known you weren't. The funny thing? You're now (or were) sleeping with his little sister's friends!! HAHAHAHA!!! You're so pathetic!!!

Loxy 37...AMEN GIRL!! I feel your frustration!! I'm STILL paying debts off from my ex, and he left 8 months ago... Dear Josh, You are such a tool. Texting my BEST FRIEND to meet for drinks to "catch up"? Really?! The one person who was by my side throughout the * * * * storm you created? Get your own life, and get your own friends! You hated her, remember? Remember how you used to complain and insult her behind her back? Remember how you never had anything nice to say about her? Saying she was fat, and ugly, and intrusive, and too opinionated....Remember when we broke up and I went out with someone new, and you texted her those nasty, angry, disrespectful messages even though she had nothing to do with it at all? WOw! Just when I think I've seen it all from you.... THEN! I break my personal NC pledge to tell you to f-off, and leave her alone and you say, "I needed someone to talk to." Oh, get off it! And when I say "Then find your own friend to talk to", you reply with, "Sorry. I was trying to be nice." Ummm...trying to be nice to who?? KIM HATES YOUR GUTS AS MUCH AS I DO! And since when do you "try" to do anything, especially at being nice?? I thought you had your own "friends" now, or at least the closest thing you'll ever have to friends....those people who live near you, who like to use your house to do drugs in and party with under-age girls, your "friends". Next time call one of them when you "need to talk". Or how about your ex from before me?? We know she's always there for you when you need her. My best friend is one of the most important people in my life. DON'T YOU DARE USE HER! She helped save me from you, now it's my turn to make sure she doesn't fall for one of your deceitful little tricks. And what do you have to "catch up" on anyway? Are you just looking for information about MY new life? Because you never gave a damn about my friends before, why would you now? Did you think she wouldn't tell me that you texted her? News Flash: She's my BEST FRIEND you Idiot! GET A LIFE! One that's completely separate from mine!

Arg! Just when I was starting to really move past you and enter my phase of indifference....then I run into your brother. I know I've said many negative things about him before, about him being lazy, and disrespectful, and unthankful.....but I know he is really innocent at the end of the day, I mean that's the way he was rasied, he doesn't really know any better. He's done remarkably well considering the cards he's been dealt in his short life. You should give him more respect (but you don't know how), more encouragement, and more recognition for how far he's come. You let him drop out of school, you let him slack off, and you enabled him to be taken care of when he needed to learn to become independent. Now the poor kid hasn't learned any independence, and you're letting him down (again). He can't count on you, you're messing up your life (and his) BIG TIME. Why why why wouldn't you listen to anything I said, anything I wanted for him. You expected me to help you raise him for the last 5 years, during the most influencial years of his life, but when it came down to it, you wouldn't listen to anything I had to say, wouldn't help enforce any expectations I had for him. Now he's screwed. I'm sure he lays awake at night worrying about you, just like he did about your mother, just like I did about you, just like you did as a child when your parents were acting like children. GIVE YOUR HEAD A SHAKE!! GROW UP! Am I the only thing that kept you from ramming your hard earned money up your nose every other night?! I thought you said when I ended our relationship that you were going to better your life, that I had opened your eyes and made you realize that you needed to change...?? So much for that. I really don't even worry about you, I am indifferent to what you do with your life. You hurt me, made me cry more times than I can even remember, you lied, you cheated, and you do not deserve me to waste one more second of my life worrying about you. But Nick.... Poor kid! He's got such a good head on his shoulders (not sure how that happened, but thankfully for him, it did). He doesn't do drugs, he doesn't want to screw up his life like you are, like your older brother did. Don't you have any respect for your family??? Even Nick?! You brought him out here so you could take care of him, so you could make sure he didn't end up dead like David.....now look at what you've done. Nick doesn't respect you anymore, he thinks your foolish. He makes me aware of all the BS going on over at your house, like he expects me to do something about it.....but I can't. I can't waste my time helping you with your life. You wouldn't even let me if I tried, you didn't before. My heart just breaks for Nick. I hope he finds the courage to leave you behind, like I did. I know he won't though, your his big brother, and sadly you're all he's got... I have let him know that if he ever needs anything, any help, or space from you, that he can call me. Just because you treated me like crap and burnt this bridge, doesn't mean that you've burnt this bridge for him too. He's always respected me more than you ever did. He also respects me way more than he respects you, I know you are blind to that, but it's very true. Gawd....I want to call and yell at you so bad for all this right now. But that's no good for me, I need to focus on the new man in my life, because he actually deserves the best of me.

P.S. Now that your "business" is gone, are you going to move away from my little hometown?? Go back to the big dirty city where nasty rats like you belong....

Well, it's been 20 days of NC. Oh ya, except for that day you were hanging around my house helping your useless brother with his useless Jeep.....I had no idea you were going to be outside when I went out there to clear out the trailer. Even that was 2 weeks ago. You totally caught me off-guard! But! It was awesome. You know why?! Because when I saw you and you said Hi, I felt NOTHING.....nothing.....no pain, no anger, definitely no love....just annoyance. Annoyed that you would even THINK about coming that close to MY house. I don't care if your brother was trying to fix his truck, or if he needed your help.....Stay away from me and my house. Remember when you threatened to kill my dog and break my windows?!?! Yeah, that pretty much did it for me. The worst part? That it wasn't even out of character for you to threaten me like that. Oh how far I've come! I have my own life now, one that does not include you in anyway. Have a little respect and leave me alone!! Oh ya! Did you hear the mower running in the backyard?! Yeah, that was my new, totally awesome, insanely sexy, completely perfect boyfriend mowing my lawn for me. How many times did you mow the lawn when you lived there for 4 years?? O's already done it more times than you and he doesn't even live there!! Just one tiny example of how much more than you I really deserve. Haha....you're pathetic really. Gawd, he makes you seem soooo inferior, well....you ARE. He almost makes me feel like an idiot because I put up with your BS for waaaay too long. When I see him, or even talk to him on the phone, it's like a little light bulb pops on above my head as if to say, "Aha!! THIS is how it's SUPPOSED to be! This is what being respected really feels like! This is how TRUE love feels!" I hear you lost your shop. Because you're such a deadbeat and missed your rent. That's called KARMA.....bad things happen to bad people. I heard you're working for Global again.....hahahahahahaha.....you MUST be desperate. I'm so glad I'm not trying to help you run that dead-end business anymore. You are lazy, and unitelligent, that's why you suck at (and apparently failed at) running your own business. I could have made it profitable for you, but you were never willing to take even a small amount of my advice.....but like I do, I just stayed along for the ride, helping and supporting your every decision, just for the sake of supporting you and your decisions. Sigh.....what a waste of my time.....5 years of my short life that I will never get back. Well, I wish I could say that "I wish you well", but.....I DON'T! I still pray that you fall in love with some stupid girl who will break your 3-sizes-too-small heart into a million tiny unfixable pieces.....Karma will continue to bite you in your lazy a$$.......enjoy! I know I will.

Thank you for never actually asking me to marry you. Knowing me, I probably would have said Yes, even though I would have known it was a bad idea, even though I knew all along that I deserved so much better, so much more. And I would have hated myself for it one day.

Bahahaa! Thanks! Just holding onto a little bit of anger, eh?! God, it sure feels good to get it out though! This thread is the best idea of the century! I've posted on this thread a few times, and always feel better afterwards. Have you ever seen someone and wanted to literally gouge their eyeballs out? That's how I feel about my ex....he hurt me more then anyone, anything ever.... The best part, I would actually send this message to him, so he could feel like the douch-bag he is, but then he would reply back, and I don't want to hear a single peep from him, he makes me miserable... I also love your avatar! Awesome!

Saw you at the pub Saturday night. I would have avoided you, but we practically ran right into you. At least you got to meet O. Could you tell by the look in his eyes that he already loves me more than you ever did? That he doesn't give a sh*t about you, because you're not even close to a threat to him. Did you notice how he always lets me walk in front of him, instead of leaving me behind? Did you notice how at ease I am with him? Did you notice how tall and handsome he is? Do you remember telling me that I would never find someone who loved me more than you, someone better than you? It sure wasn't hard! He has you beat in all areas of life - personality, loyalty, looks, career, respect, not to mention "down there" and in bed! You just have the classic case of Small Man Syndrome - think you're all tough, and good looking, etc.....hahaha! You're such a joke! I hope your Dutch man-looking girlfriend breaks your 3-sizes-too-small heart into a million little pieces. Guess what?! I don't even miss you! I sure don't want you back! I just hate you! Yep, HATE. I am sooooooo angry, so so so angry. Remember what you used to say to me?? "If you ever feel like you're gonna cheat on me, just tell me before you do it, so we can be done. Break up with me instead of cheating." Hmmm.....why would you always say that?? Maybe you should have practiced what you preached!! Why didn't you just break up with me before you F****d that girl 4 years ago? (or girls, who knows?!) WHY??? Why would you stay with me for so long if you didn't love me, if you didn't even want me?? If you wanted HER? Because I just laid down as your own personal doormat with a big old "Welcome" sign on me?? I'm not stupid! I know you need to walk all over people and scare them into "respecting" you so you can feel like a bigger man. Being with someone now who really does love and respect me, who knows how to treat a lady, only makes me hate you more, because now I know what it's SUPPOSED to be like. Love isn't supposed to be work, it's not supposed to be living in fear, it's not supposed to be waiting for 6 hours for you to call me back to let me know you won't be home when you're already 5 hours late. It's not supposed to be walking on eggshells, and questioning the other person's love and intentions. It's not supposed to make you feel horrible and worthless. It's so much better than that. It's so much better than you. If you think not paying me the money you owe me will keep me coming back asking for it, you're wrong. I would pay twice that amount of money to make you disappear for good. You don't even deserve to look at my pretty face, you nasty pig. Ta ta for now.... PS When are you going to get your own life and move out of my little town? I'm sick of seeing you around. You moved there to be with me, now move the f**k away, you always said you hated it there......

Brokenhearted - STAY STRONG! I relate to you soooooooo much. I was not married, but I lived with the jerk for 4 years (together for 5 years total)....I finally kicked his sorry butt out 6 months ago. Even though I'm still hurting (because of how he treated me, and how I gave everything I had to make it work, don't ask me why!) the feelings of fear, anxiety, and worry are gone. If that's all I ever get out of this life shattering break up, then it's already worth it....

WOw! This is EXACTLY how I feel! I couldn't haven said it better myself! I feel your pain...HUGS.

Why do you enjoy hurting people? Does it make you feel better about yourself?? I'm not sure why you feel the need to text me and tell me all about the little girls you're sleeping around with.....it doesn't make me jealous at all. Only glad that I'm not one of them this time. Do you expect me to sit back and laugh because you're hurting others exactly the same way you hurt me?? You're a cowardly pig and you need help. Maybe I should just write a letter to your mom, just let her know what a gentleman she's raised. I don't think I ever really loved you, just thought I did. I know what real love feels like now, and guess what?! It doesn't hurt, and I don't feel anxiety, or fear. And, I don't think you ever really loved me either. You don't lie to, cheat on, or abuse the ones you love, at least normal people don't. What did I ever do to deserve your bullsh*t?? I only loved you, tried to understand and support you. I let your deadbeat brother live in our basement for years, without paying a penny, tried to support you in your attempt to give him a better life. Well, some role model you are; drinking and partying, he doesn't even want to live with you anymore. Can you blame him?? I KNOW how hard it is to put up with your crap everyday of my life! Your actions speak louder than my words ever will. Eventually everyone will see you for what you really are, what I already know. They will see right through you, just like I can. Your true personality will always shine through. What you did to me, how you intentionally hurt me will come back to you....you should never neglect the ones who love you. What goes around, comes around, and sometimes even worse. Diamonds aren't this girl's best friend, Karma is! You arrogant pr**k, you laugh now, but I will be the one laughing at you later. Do all these little girls know that you're an alcoholic? And now apparently, a coke addict? Do they know you'll make them feel good for a bit, then abuse the crap out of them?? Do they know you'll shatter their lives into tiny, unfixable pieces? That you're nothing but a negative, nasty person living in fear? What do I want from you? My life back would be nice! 5 years too late for that though. I am releasing all the hurt, pain, and sadness that you have caused me in order to move along with my awesome life. I have met a man who I believe is truly my match. I love him. He loves me. Good things DO come to good people, eventually. If all the sh*t you put me through brought him to me, then I guess it was all worth it, and Karma does exist. All my relationships are now loving and filled with trust. I am in a beautiful relationship with a wonderful, romantic, understanding man, who is crazy in love with me. It's just not fair that I still carry all the grief you caused me. I need to let go of you and all the pain, so I can be truly happy. I'm working on it, but you need to know that nothing, no one, ever has caused me so much hurt, EVER. No one has ever been able to bring me down like you. Because you are so insecure, it makes you feel like a bigger man to have that kind of impact on people, especially me. Like I sad, you are a coward. The only thing I can take away from you is lessons....here's what you taught me: I am too important to allow you to make me cry. I identify abusive tendencies in others before investing time, money, or emotions. I do not allow others to take advantage of me. I have learned to avoid toxic and destructive people. I am brave, bold, and courageous, that's why I left you. I accept only first class behaviour and treatment from others, and I deserve to be loved fully and completely. I am not yet at the point where I can wish you well, still waaaaay too angry. So for now, I hope you burn in Hell, I hope you get your heart broken a million times worse than you broke mine, I hope you fail at life and realize that I carried you along for 5 very long years, I hope your business that I ran for the last 3 years fails because of your horrible personality and lack of intelligence. I hope everyone in your life will see you for what you really are; a nastly, cowardly , cheating pig who threw away everything positive, genuine, and pure, who shattered an innocent, loving, girl's trust. As you would say, "Good enough".

How could you do all this to me? Why did you say you loved me, but wouldn't change your ways for me? After 5 years of your crap, I wish I had never met you, I wish you had never come back from stupid New Brunswick to be with me. I wish I could have the last 5 years of my life back, and that you were permanently erased from my memory. You crushed me. You knew I was already broken, but you smashed the remaining pieces of me into even smaller pieces. I wish I could literally rip your too small heart out of your chest and run it over with my car a million times, then maybe you would actually feel SOMETHING. I wish I had cheated on you too. I had many opportunities, some of them I WANTED to take, but I didn't because I knew it was wrong, and I didn't want to hurt you. I wish I had taken EVERY opportunity to cheat so I could throw it all back in your face, tell you all the details, and make you feel something like I feel right now. I will pray everyday that you will love somebody else like I loved you, and they will smash your dreams, like you did to mine. I hope you think about me and miss me and realize what we could have had, if you just weren't so flippin' mean. "Someone's gonna leave you with your fire burning, and no way to put it out." I can only believe in Karma now..... PS I am selling my diamonds, they are only full of lies. I think I will go on a nice vacation with the money...