I don't know why I still care what your doing. Or who your doing it with. I can make my assumptions and like before, I'll probably be right. God it's a curse to have such strong intuition of things. I knew exactly how it'd play out between us. I tried to leave you because I knew you'd cheat with her. You begged me not to leave you. I couldn't. I couldn't see you hurt. And I didn't want to leave. But deep down I knew you were to weak of person to stay faithful, despite all your promises. It only took ONE time being around her for ONE hour. How sick is that? What's more pathetic is that she said she felt sorry for me and she thought I'd like her if I gave her a chance. What kind of SKANK thinks I'd want to befriend someone who spread their legs to my boyfriend while I was outside the room? No class. Neither one of you.
Last time we spent together you said there were thing you hadn't told me. Truth was, I knew most of those "things" already. I don't think your stable. It scares me that your in the military. How desensatized you've become. Scary what your future relationships will look like. Scary to invision what OURs would have looked like if I had stayed and changed my whole life for you following you around everywhere.
God I'm thankful to be able to get this out because it makes things seem a little clearer. And maybe resentful is the wrong way to feel. Maybe I should be thankful that you saved me from an even worse future with you.
The weekend we brokeup I was considering breakingup with you. All I could think and feel was "I can't do this. I can't get over what he did a week ago and act like it never happened". You wanted me to just get over it. You said you didn't want to be criticized the rest of your life for what you did. But it was only a week. I was understandably angry. You never let me FEEL my emotions. It was weird.
Honestly, I don't think we ever really knew eachother. It was a pretty picture we pretended with. But it wasn't real. Reality was sinking in and it was too much, too messy I guess. I want to have good feeling about this. I want to be over you enough to wish you well. But I can't right now. I'm still not over what a coward you are.
And I REALLY don't get why you asked me who I was seeing. Why care if you walked away? I think you pretend alot of your life. TO me, to our friends. To yourself.
Bury yourself in whatever distractions you can but someday you'll think of me. You'll miss me. I dare you to find someone who was as good to you as I was. And then I'd like to shake her hand for being able to put up with you.