SerenityIsDeath

I've been going to a therapist for the last two years, and it's gotten me nowhere. I'd really love to solve this, but I just don't see how it's possible. I don't want to lose her over this. I'm afraid she'll get so upset that I'm "lying" and dump me.

Throughout my life, basically up until this point in time, I've never really expressed my feelings to anyone. This all changed about a year ago when I met my girlfriend. I've since told her all I could about my childhood and the feelings I can remember having. The problem is, that since from when I was born to now (20 years, give or take a few months) I haven't told ANYONE how I was feeling. I have always kept to myself about emotions and all of that stuff. Now I find that my girlfriend is pressing me more and more to tell her how I feel about things. Especially lately, since we've been getting into so many fights. I try to explain to her that it's because I don't know how to express my feelings. Well, it's not that I can't express them, I just don't even know what they are. If I feel sad I have 20 years of sadness behind that one emotion, and it clouds it and makes it more intense. The problem is I always forget why I was upset in the first place. This happens with every emotion whether it be happiness, sadness, etc So this makes it nearly impossible to tell what I'm feeling and what caused me to feel that way. So most of the time I have no emotional reaction to certain things. I guess I just want her to understand what happens, but I don't think she can. Then again what I've said to you might not even make sense. I really don't know. All I want is for her to understand that I really don't know how I'm feeling. I'm sick of being yelled at and called a liar. Then she starts to cry and I don't know what to do. I'm just really confused.

Yes, we're both in school. She has 3 years left and I have 4. So it doesn't seem like things will get much easier anytime soon. We get along great when we are together, but like I said that's rare.

At 20 years old I'm in the first relationship of my life right now. It's been almost a year and 3 months since we started going together. She lives a few towns over but goes to college 4 states away. I see her once every three months if I'm lucky. And I don't know if it's the distance or something else, but lately I've felt that we've lost the spark in our relationship that was there to begin with. But when I try to bring this up to my girlfriend she simply denies it and says that it will get better and that it's most likely because of distance. In the past three weeks we have argued more and more. I'm just sick of it. I feel we are going around in circles. I still love her very much, but it just seems like that spark is gone. Everyday that I'm not with her gets harder and harder. Is there a way to work this out? If so, any suggestions?

I don't know, they very well could be messing around, lol.

This may sound like a dumb assumption on my part, but could this mean that she is bi? Or maybe a lesbian?

Lately my girlfriend has talked about how she and her girlfriends thought it would be fun to go skinny dipping with one another. For some reason when she told me this I got very insecure and worried. Is this normal behavior for a girl and her friends? Also, my girlfriend says that she jokingly flashes her friends all of the time. This also made me worried. I mean she doesn't even flash me! Are these things normal? Should I be worried about them? If so what do I do?

I don't mind that she masturbates. But the problem is she'll do it instead of being with me. If we had a good sex life and she also masturbated I wouldn't care, but we don't have a sex life at all.

Why should I be glad she's going something like this? I just don't understand. It kind of freaks me out to be perfectly honest. And I also don't understand why she keeps going back to the dildo and not me. Could I be doing something wrong?

But will her using it effect how she feels? Like I'm guessing she'll be looser. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

I guess I'm more worried about being compared to the dildo. I'm certainly not as big, and I don't want her to find me less pleasurable than the dildo. If that makes sense

I'm kind of afraid about my girlfriend using a dildo. We have not had sex yet but I'm worried that her using a dildo will somehow make sex less enjoyable. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if they dildo she was using wasn't so large. I'm by know means that big. We are both virgins so I want our first time to be special, but I'm worried that her using a dildo all the time might make her more loose and find me less "pleasurable". Should I be worried?

I don't care about the status of having a girlfriend. I just care about not letting her go, I love her with all of my heart. I don't want to hurt her. I'm pretty sure this would totally crush her, and I wouldn't know what to do to make it better.

I just don't know if that's an option for me. I couldn't stand the pain of knowing what she is doing. And I understand why this space thing could be benefitial, but she already goes to college in another state. I only see her once everything three months for a week or so. I don't think you can get much more space than that. And if she loves me then why would she want to do something that hurts me to begin with? She should know that it hurts me and accept that I don't want her doing it. In retrospect I don't think it's a big deal. I mean, it's not like I tell her who to be friends with, where to go, etc.

Your advice is good and all, but I just can't do that. I cannot tell her that I don't care if she does it. I can't take that pain anymore. And she can have fun many many other ways. I just don't see why it's necessary. I also wonder why she suddenly changed. She used to always tell me that she hated that her friends drank and she wish they would change. Now she herself is drinking. I just don't understand. And to be honest, if she ever did drink again I'd have to let her go. That may sound mean, but I don't want to get hurt again. I've honestly have had alcohol cause me too many problems in the past. I don't need those problems in the future.