madpixie

It sounds to me that she is not ready to leave her husband and this is always the problem you have when anyone gets involved with a married person. At the end of the day, forbidden fruit provides risk which can be exciting and fun (although I don't condone afffairs because they are painful but it is the danger of being caught and doing what you shouldn't that is exciting) unfortunately this is no longer the case because the forbidden fruit is proposing turning into a serious relationship which is bound to loose the edge. Also she has to make a choice and maybe she didn't want to ever make a choice, at the end of the day leaving a marriage no matter how unhappy you are is hard to do and it sounds like she is not ready to leave the marriage and probably won't ever be ready to. You should also ask yourself - if she was so willing to be unfaithful to husband number one then what makes you think she will stay faithful to you as well? Think about it, and forget about it, extra marital affairs almost always lead to heartache for all parties concerned.

(((hugs)))) Know how you feel, moving on is so hard, but in the end you will get there, but i am in a similar position - I let someone walk away and now regret it......... I want them back but they won't come back. I think the only thing i can suggest is the same thing i have been trying to ask myself is why in the first place did i let it go? And why would I want it back - honestly? Is it going to be any better if i let it come back? I guess only time will tell if you made the right choice but i have figured that if we let these things go then we were meant to let them go because we had to........ And yeah it sucks to see them with someone else when you love them still. hugs again xxxxxx

Hmm Okay so he said he does not love you? Did you ever have an indication to suspect this before? Sometimes men can be a bit jealous of a new baby because they feel that they are going to get pushed out of their partners life and in many respects after childbirth you are tired, you need to spend time recovering, spend time with you new baby so it may seem like that. Maybe he is saying it in a response to an emotional fear of being pushed out. But what he said is not nice either and to hear it at this stage in life is so sad. I think you need to ask your husband why he says he does not love you, and then ask yourself if if he is not prepared to work this out do you want to stay with someone who does not love you. I know walking away is easier said than done, but you sound like you deserve better than this. Whatever you decide i hope it works out for you in the end - and your baby. hugs xxxx

I was with my boyfriend for 7 years, we were planning on getting married this coming January, and had been living together for 4 of those 7 years. We'd met at university, and he seemed like my one true love and I never looked at anyone else in those 7 years and neither did he. Earlier this year he dropped a bomb on me - he told me that since he was 15 years old he had always felt like he should have been a woman. I was shocked I could not believe it and intially when he came out to me as transexual I blew a fuse, and we had lots of arguments as a result. In July he began hormone treatment and in September he thought we needed to break up to get on with our lives. At first I was like 'okay fair enough' but then after some time to think I realised that i still loved him regardless of what he was doing to his body, and that it was the person inside i loved and wanted to be with. I asked him about getting back together to work through stuff and he said he didn't think we should because we have had so many problems this year. He has met a girl on line from the states ( we are in the UK) and he said that he does fancy her and she him but they are going to see how they feel when they meet up - they would like something to happen. This has just compounded the pain and hurt even further. OUr living sitatuation is trickey too - I have just finished a post grad course and still looking for work so i cannot afford to move out of our apartment either, we still share a bed because its a small one bed flat, and sometimes we have still had sex. I asked him about this girl in the states and he said he does fancy her but he loves me still, but does not think that we should get back together. Its hard for me because i want this and love him, so much and i am so hurting and miserable. I have been referring to him in the male tense because i am not sure what people feel about the female tense here, but usually i call her she or by her female name. I feel so depressed and jealous of this new girl too.