I was with my boyfriend for 7 years, we were planning on getting married this coming January, and had been living together for 4 of those 7 years.
We'd met at university, and he seemed like my one true love and I never looked at anyone else in those 7 years and neither did he.
Earlier this year he dropped a bomb on me - he told me that since he was 15 years old he had always felt like he should have been a woman. I was shocked I could not believe it and intially when he came out to me as transexual I blew a fuse, and we had lots of arguments as a result. In July he began hormone treatment and in September he thought we needed to break up to get on with our lives.
At first I was like 'okay fair enough' but then after some time to think I realised that i still loved him regardless of what he was doing to his body, and that it was the person inside i loved and wanted to be with. I asked him about getting back together to work through stuff and he said he didn't think we should because we have had so many problems this year.
He has met a girl on line from the states ( we are in the UK) and he said that he does fancy her and she him but they are going to see how they feel when they meet up - they would like something to happen.
This has just compounded the pain and hurt even further.
OUr living sitatuation is trickey too - I have just finished a post grad course and still looking for work so i cannot afford to move out of our apartment either, we still share a bed because its a small one bed flat, and sometimes we have still had sex.
I asked him about this girl in the states and he said he does fancy her but he loves me still, but does not think that we should get back together.
Its hard for me because i want this and love him, so much and i am so hurting and miserable.
I have been referring to him in the male tense because i am not sure what people feel about the female tense here, but usually i call her she or by her female name.
I feel so depressed and jealous of this new girl too.