-Meth-

i must agree with swanton, good job.Im in the same situation but mine is a little worse, her boyfriend is my close friend.I hooked them up so she can be happy, so yeah.The pain is unbearable and i cant hold it back.Id rather die, but im barely hanging in.So good luck pal.

actually, that really gets me thinking.I want her to be happy, im not better then Pete or anyone else for that matter.She will only love him and no one else.Im just in the way a third wheel.Supposedly im her best friend, but hows that when i never do the things he does with her.We never go anywheres together, well not often, the last time i was alone with her was about a week or 2 ago.There have been other times but never a day she really dedicated to being with me.I know that she'll never love me like she does him and the truth is i should give up. Its hopeless right?I wonder if shell realize what shes lost in me once im gone.Doesnt matter, itll be to late.Yeah, well i guess ill just find a way to improve myself.If i wasnt ever good enough for her, then probably just becoming stronger and smarter or whatever would do for me.Then when she does want me, she cant have me.I dont know, i need to figure this out.

Im not sure whether its fake or not and i cant give my opinion because its controversing, i know that love can be the best feeling in the world at a time yet it means nothing when the other person doesnt feel the same. The truth is people might like you for many reasons but theres always a reason for them to dislike you and not love you, things are never right.When you think they are they mess up.I do everything i can thats right,but nothing works so i cant believe in love, i just believe that deep inside myself im really messed up.I need stop thinking and find a way to end all emotions.Apathy is the way to be, but ill be here to help i jsut dont know if ill give it all i can.For friends that is...

love at first site isnt real but its good to think you can love.I once thought people werent all the same but so many judge on appearances, its so deceiving and misleading the way people are.They look for a lover in looks and not thoughts or personalities, its hard to find someone rare enough to look at people for thier personalities.They dont look at a persons dream or the way a person really is.Everyone around me is like this, and it sucks cause im the only one who thinks things differently.I just wish i wasnt so alone in my thoughts, but it doesnt matter.I stand alone,i am alone.(damn me)

Sauron, thinks for the advice but your partially right but your very wrong.What kind of a person would i be if i let her be down when he pushes her away.I cant allow her to hurt, i wouldnt let her hurt if it were the last thing,ive made a promise to never hurt her again.I spoke to her awhile ago on the phone, she read me some of her poems.In this one particular poem she says she wishes she felt the same about me has i do for her, cause she knows shed be happy if she did.She wants to feel like that for me, but she cant, thats the truth. Its not her fault or anything, but i do take fault in this, i wish she loved me.I will never get that wish,ive prayed that shed love me, it hasnt happened.It wont happen, she can only love pete, so the only thing i can do is go on in pain,watching her happy. Ill always be sad, but has long has shes happy, i guess maybe ill find a way to eventually get over it, i can only pray to god.This pain is so unbearable.I asked her if she would ever think of me like that,she didnt want to say no cause she wanted to be nice,but i made her say the truth.She would never feel love like that for me,never.It hurts so much id just wanna die.If only god or whoever would do his job,and make her love me,id do anything for that.Anything.Anything at all.

Well, about 2 months ago i joined a robotics team in school. I went with a friend named Pete to it after school for the first time. We sat there and tried to figure out what to do and stuff, since we were all so clueless in the beggining. Anyways i started talking to Esme...then we started emailing each other. My friend Pete was talking to her longer then me though. Anyways they emailed each other and everything. I made a mistake that hurt her in the past, i rejected her phone number cause i thought she gave it more out of somewhat pity. I guess she didnt want to make me feel left out. I was wrong though. After awhile we started talking on the phone, and emailing and even skipping class to see each other, she had so many problems with her family. I know i love her, i love her so much ill do anything to make her happy. I found out she cared deeply for Pete, she says she dont believe in love, but she seems to feel it for him. So i hooked them up. Now theyre together, and its like so painful to see them hugging and kissing or even just holding hands. I found out i have depression, and i think thats why. I cant eat the same, sleep the same, i lost interest in everyday things, and ive thought alot of suicide, although i know i wouldnt do it.I know Esmeralda ( Esme ) cares about me alot, cause she always wants to help me. I told her i liked her so she knows how i feel. One time she told me how bad she felt that i love her, and that she never ment to make me feel this way about her. She felt so guilty so i lied and told her that i was over her. She figured out i didnt and soon after and i admitted, but then i lied again and said i was getting over it. She figures im not, im sure. Its hard seeing her with Pete, he walks off on her sometimes and she always ends up following him. When she walks off cause shes mad, he never follows her. I do. I try to make her feel better, joke around and show her a good time more or less. I comfort her always by telling her that its ok, i never hug her though, i dont feel has if i deserve it, or i dont want to be pushed away. She knows that id do anything to make her happy, and i always try to make her feel better. What more must i do to make her feel the same, id do anything to get that one step closer to her. To make her want to be around me always, to make her happy. To never let go. She may move away in 2 months or so and i told her that i would still see her no matter what. What really ticks me off though is that shes always sad cause of Pete, he never pays her full attention the way i do, and when he does want to do something, he will just hug her and shed be all over him again. Shed be completely happy has if there never was a problem. She has so many problems, and i know that if i were the one she cared about like Pete. Id do anything to make her happy. Id never miss a chance to make her happy. Ill always hug her and make sure shes ok. If only i knew she cared about me the way i do her, id change all my plans to be with her, id get talking to her mom, so that her mom would understand we aint about to make the mistake that is sex. I want the relationship to be ok with her mom. I want to take her all over, and show her a world only someone who loves her would. Its just so hard. Can anyone give me any advice on what more i can do to get her to feel the same. She knows ill give anything for her, she has a good time around me, but i dont know what more to do.

this is the post that made me join this forum,anyways dude.Im only 16 and i know how your feeling,I say you tell her.Youll always regret this in the future.I told the girl i love how i feel,i didnt say love,well i did,but i dont think she heard,i think she heard like.Were like best friends now,and im always here for her.Her boyfriend always walks off on her,and i follow her and check if shes ok.Im always having a good time with her when its just me and her.I comfort her and everything,she told me when i first asked her that she didnt feel the same.I dont know what to do either,its so hard.The way i look at it is,i at least know she cares about me since i told her weve become closer.I dont regret telling her,its good that she knows.So yeah just tell her and show her your poems,make her know you care.Make it seem has if shes the greatest thing in the world,show her a good time,and be the best person you can with her.Shell love you after,if even has a friend,shell love you.At least youll get a few hugs if you dont become her boyfriend.If you do,then your problem is solved.