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nycdoctor

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About nycdoctor

  • Birthday 02/03/1974

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  1. Last year, my mom was able to walk and talk for Thanksgiving. She can't walk anymore, she blind in one eye, she wearing diapers, she doesn't talk that much. She in wheelchair. We just celebrated her birthday. I don't want her to die, but I don't want her to suffer. I am crying every night, I can't sleep. I don't want my mom to die. My mom helped me get through my dad death. If she goes I have no one. If it wasn't for my son 3 month old, I would just kill myself
  2. I went on a date yesterday after talking with this woman for a few days. I never saw a picture of her and she never saw a picture of me. I know she like my personality. When we met up yesterday, it was disaster. She was beautiful and I was average and she told me that she was shallow...that i wasn't her type. That hurt......I have been with beautiful woman before...I am an average man....but i really did hurt me to the point that I was crying. I really like her...and I can't understand...because I am the same person I was online as off. She was shallow.
  3. I am very depress this whole weekend. I have been going out with Maria for the past 8 month and I thought this time...I was getting close to the woman I would marry. Three month into the relationship she wanted to take a break and work on herself...she had issues with her parent's divorse and her mom being with another man. That break last about one month and we go back together..she was seeing a threapist. The following month following was hard, she had issues about me coming over at her place, and issues about driving to Long Island. She only stay over once in a while. I felt like i was trying to sell myself for her to be more into me. At this point i went back to online dating and what really killed me was Christmas. I told her i wanted to marry her within 6 month and she said she wasn't ready. She need two years. It was just a rejection...you can't believe. After not seeing her for Thankgiving, Christmas and New Years...i was ready to call it quit. And I did, I put when she started to cry...i hated hurting her....i told her it would be a break. My birthday came and she went all out. She told me wanted to marry me. She knew about me being on the online site. I believe her....i thought she would change...but I need to make sure before she did. What happen was her therapist said we are too different....she has trust issues to deal with ...that she should be alone and not in relationship. Wednesday come around and she call me on the way home to dump me. Told me she need to work on herself and will see the doctor twice a week and go to work on saturday as well to get her mind off things. I am just totally heartbroken. I love her.....
  4. It is Monday...and I am at work...trying not to cry. I don't want to get up. I want to end this pain..that I feel in my heart. I hate relationship. I hate getting hurt. I want to die....................................
  5. We started dating again in April, I told her that i wouldn't want to start again ...if she was going to dump me again. Her issue is this, that i didn't tell my parent about her. All the other time I did tell them. My parent don't like her at all. They have never met her. She has broken my heart numberous times and they have seen me cry. She want to be a part of my family life...and I wish i could make her part of it, but my parent want nothing to do with her. Let go back a few weeks......she is a single mom with a 13 year old son, she has her own business, goes to school in the weekend, and takes tennis class. I see her mostly on the weekend since i work till 7pm most of the week and must get to work at 8am. She got ill, got mirgane headache and let it continue for three weeks before she went to the doctor. She was able to still do her thing...yet didn't have time to talk to me everynight, our sex life got worse. Her son now is with us every weekend and hence our sex life which was great. Was i wrong for expressing my frustation for wanting sex ...wanting bonding....our talks...being alone just together. She broke up with me this weekend. I feel like crying. I feel like dying...i feel like killing myself
  6. I have been with my ex for 5 years on and off. I always go in with the intention of making it work. My heart is broken. I can't stop crying. God help me.
  7. Dear CherryGrl, I try to remain positive and not think about things that are beyond my control. I have been a disappointment to my family...i have come to realize that. They have given so much for me...for my happiness. I am confused right now...and you are right...i am serious about my post. I don't want to try antidepressants. There is no really solution to my problem. I have so mended to my job...my identity is my job that without my job i feel like I am nothing. Thank you for praying for me.
  8. I have been looking to work for another doctor or another clinic for a couple of months now and had no success. My income will go down alot in the next following weeks. I wish i lived in a area where the standard of living is lower...but i don't. Everyday i am getting more depress than ever. I want to kill myself for the choice I made with my profession. For not doing more research. My field is so speclized. To think that I delayed my life for further education....for what? for what? I am thinking of changing carreer, but to what? Do i want to work under someone? My ego is in the ground right now and so is my soul.Please God help me...i am hanging one by a thread.
  9. I am a doctor who for the last 10 year worked in a medical clinic. I have worked since my residency. Recently the clinic is going through hard times. My income has been affected. It scary since I don't have a private office. I am so very depress. I don't know the first thing about opening up cold. I am still not married, I am in my 30s. I don't know what to do. Some night i wake up hoping this is all a dream, but it isn't I feel like ending it all sometimes, but I don't. I know I am a good guy, a great doctor, i feel like I went to school and wasted my time. The only good thing is that I paid my student loan off.
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