dreynolds

How long do you wait, after you meet a guy, before you actually have sex with him? You date - you give it time - you'll get a feel for those guys who actually respect you and care about you - compared to those who are just trying to get into your pants. I woudl concentrate on picking up on those signals more - PLUS - get to know a guy for a while first, before you jump into anything too physical. Trust me - if a guy likes you, he won't be FORCING you or PUSHING you into anything you're not ready for!

So how long have the two of you been dating? How often would you normally talk before - daily basis, few times a day? I mean - is this TOTALLY unlike him - do you really know him well enough to answer? I think you should just let it go - let him play his little game. It's not as if he'll come back in 2 weeks when you stopped trying and act as if nothing is wrong - then y ou can tell him what a jerk he has been....but for now, I say just leave it alone and move on. Why would you want to be with a guy like that? I know it sucks - because you just want answers - but going out of your way to get them isn't the right thing to do for now. Give it a few days, see what happens.

I agree with RayKay..... He's the one doing this for WHATEVER reason - you called, talked to his mother - you know he's alright, not hurt or sick or anything like that. Give it a few days - if you don't hear from him still, then ya - pay a visit to his house - but DO NOT go to his work - bad idea all around!

IT's not as much the sex 'chat' - it's her getting into the phone sex, telling me what she's doing, what she wants me to do to her....my point here is simply that if I wasn't interested in someone, I wouldn't be venturing into such conversation...i would have no interest....

Well, you've just learned the hard way that before you EVER send anything - phone message, text message, email - ALWAYS, and I repeat ALWAYS hold off for at least a good half day and see how you feel about it aftewards. Now all you can do is wait and see - if you get a reply, what is said, etc... Good luck my friend...

Exactly - and that's what I thought/pretty much figured myself. Even when we went out on another date - sitting in the theatre - her mind was all gutter talk/teasing....as she accidentally dropped popcorn down her top - made it quite obvious. I played - dropped a piece of popcorn down her top - she laughed. She's then sitting there looking at me - licking each finger after she finished her popcorn - grin on her face..... I've never met a woman that was being SO MUCH LIKE THAT and DID NOT want anything....very strange...

If you were, and just wanted, to be 'friends' with a guy - you have a great time out with him, talkign to him, lots in common.....but say the attraction is just not there, or SOMETHING is missing....do you get into the 'sex chat' with him? I mean - for me, if I'm talking toa female I don't have any attraction to or real interest in romantically....if she brings up the topic of sex, other than casual chat - i don't usually stick with the subject. If it is a girl I'm itnerested in - for sure, anything is a go - but otherwise, no thanks. I just went thorugh a situation with a girl I went on a few dates with - during the last week SHE got very precise on what all she's into. She got into the phone sex, telling me the things she wanted me to do to her - I liked this girl, but how much - i didn't really know yet. Anyway - turns out, after our last 'date'...she only wants to keep it casual...just friends. I'm fine with that - because I too wasn't sure what I felt with her...but at the same time....what's with all the sexual interest? She told me after that's just her - she's very open! I found that a little messed up! I thought maybe - she wanted the casual "friends with benefits" thing - but that too is not true because she had that for a while - got out of it becuase it just wasn't right, she wanted something moroe serious/real. I'm just curious about what is going through a womans head - if she's talking to a guy she's not intersted in, yet wants him to get down and dirty with her on the phone. If a girl was doing that to me, a girl I wasn't intersted in - ya - i wouldn't be around too long!

My advice - leave it alone and meet someone else. If a girl is interested - she'll make it very obvious - for whatever reasons, she's not on the same page as you. Been there - done that - buddy, it's just going to drain you every which way possible!

And you'll feel happy and great again - you're just an emotional person...so am I..it's the fun we get to deal with. As I said - relationships, and dating for that matter, isn't easy - not for people like us who are emotional, looking for that one special person to be with. The process takes time - and patience - and most importantly, faith in yourself and belief in who you are as a woman! There should be that "something" that makes you, YOU....and nobody can take that from you. You keep it when you're single, you keep it when you're in a relationship...you might lose site of it, you might think someone stole it from you (especially when you feel the way you do now) - but it's just hiding...it's still there - TRUST ME! This is the second relationship gone bad this year for you - As of yesterday, my 4th this year ended. First was a 5 month relationship that just wasn't working out, ended in february. next was a married woman - we really hit it off - but I can't do that, i'm not "THAT GUY". The next I fell for, hard - she did and said all the right things, then one day - treated me like crap and ended it - no explanation - never heard from her again. This last girl I was seeing for about a month and a bit...she played me - but ya know, her loss! This is me - looking for "HER" - I don't know who she is yet - but I know who she isn't! Faith in you, Goldfish - cheer up, and smile - as you said to the other poster, Life is too short....and you hit the nail on the head! Life is too short - and it also applies to letting ONE PERSON make you feel the way you feel right now! Deep breath - new outlook!

Hey there GoldFish - First off - being a guy, and being completely blunt with you - him not wanting anything means he wants sex/fooling around/having some fun - but no relationship. At least that's how I see it. I've met many women at the office over the years - everythign from "meet me in the washroom at 5:00" to "you're exactly the type of guy I've been looking for". Bottom line - everybody wants something different....and relationships aren't easy! You have to ask yourself here "What do I want?". Do you want the fun, excitement, the casual romp in the hay and then will feel completely fine with the next week at work when he really doesn't seem to bother with you anymore? My guess is probably not! Men do this to women - women do this to men....for some reason, it's the type of women who could not and would not do that...meets a guy who would....and OUCH! Listen to that little voice inside - she's ontop of the game for you. It's a little voice we all have...and we hear all the time - but most times, we ignore or argue with it. Of course, if you're having actual conversations with that little voice then you probably have other issues to deal with - haha - Seriously though - you know what you want - and what you don't want. Office relationships can become ugly - unless you're the type, and he's the type - who can blow it off afterwards - and not care if you see him with Donna at the end of the hall next week...etc....you know what I mean. hang in there....

It's not the fact that YOU don't feel bothered by him having raped you - it's the fact that this individual is a rapist, and the next poor girl will be the one who will be bothered by it - possibly ruin any hopes of a healthy relationship with a man for a very long time. Friend or NO friend - you should have reported him! Why you seem okay with this - I haven't a clue - it does seem a little strange if this individual was such a great friend and you had absolutely no attraction/interest in him - you said no and he didn't care..... Does that seem right to you?

Yes, you have to learn to control the sensation - know when you're approaching your 'point of no return' and then stop, control it, bring it down a notch. I've gone and done this to myself once I was single for a while - it was basically busy busy busy, get it done and move on....so I ruined that control I used to have....so it's a matter of retraining....it takes time, but be patient, and persistent!

Well, at least for today - i've decided on no reply. Simply because I know if I did reply - she will respond with something else. She treated me like I was some jerk - pushed me away and then walked away turning her back to me for no explanation or reason other than her emotions were everywhere. I told her in return that I wasn't happy, and if she didn't say something I would have soon because I wasn't going to sit around and be treated the way she treated me. There is still a big part of me that is angry for her actions towards me - because I didn't deserve it....so, that part of me feels that she doesn't deserve an email reply about her umbrella....like michelle said - it's an umbrella, buy a new one! Thanks for your input everyone.....

I figure not responding will just result in anotehr email of phone call..... I simply can't understand it - that's all. I am going to walk out of your life and not talk to you again -but wait, 5 weeks later, I forgot my umbrella!

Yes - I do agree...and I can see those issues more clearly now after the way she has acted this past month. I guess it was hard on me simply because I really did carea bout her - and at first, her talk was all good...but when it came to actions, it was a different story....all I wanted was for both of us to enjoy everything...together...with each other....