JohnDoe

Last year, there was a girl in one of my classes that I thought was a great person and had a great personality, but who was off limits because she was going out with someone, and had been for the past two years. About a month ago, when working in the library on my lunch she appraoched me and asked me to take her flying in a small plane. At this point in time, I had no idea that she wasn't still going out with said individual, and thought that she was just interested in seeing what it was like. A few e-mails were exchanged between us, and shes started using affectionate terms like: hun, hunny, sweetie, cutie, etc. I thought nothing of it, until in one e-mail she said that we had a "thing". I asked what she was talking about, but she avoided me and would only leak little bits of info as we continued to talk. She then told me that she wasn't going out with that person and asked if I was interested in there being an "us". I played hard to get at first, but was obviously interested. And now we come to the problem. The thing is, is that she still is interested in her previous boyfriend. She knows I am interested, because I told her straight out that I was. I don't know what I can to do try and help her make the right decision. She can't seem to make up her mind. When her and her boyfriend broke up, she started seeing someone else, but she still spent time with her former boyfriend. She said that he didn't have a problem letting her do this, but for obvious reasons I do, but I don't know what to tell her, or what to do about it.

I know exactly how you feel. There is a girl that I like and I was about to ask her out, and found out just prior that she had started going out with someone else. The thing with me is that I told her and that sort of kind of pissed off her boyfriend. Not a good move, but things have settled down now. Here's the thing, regardless of the fact that she is going out with someone else, your feelings for her aren't going to change. Just make sure that she always knows that you are there for her if she needs you. If things don't work out between them, it is your turn to step in and comfort her, especially if he was the one responsible for their breakup. The only thing you have to watch is that you can't storm into the situation ten seconds after they break up, in a vulture like manner, you have to be a little more sympathetic, etc. Just hang in there, I am sure that it will work out for you in the end, at least I hope that it does. Best of luck to you, John

Hi, I may not be a moderator, but if you want people to take your posts seriously, please use proper english, punctuation, etc. It makes it harder to read when you write like that, and thereforeeee discourages people from replying. As for your post, we need a little more information from you to be able to help. Are you in school? High School? College? We are glad to help any and all, but we need to understand the situation a bit more to post a helpful response, which is what the purpose of this forum is. PM me if you have any questions.

If you are interested in getting their attention, use eye contact. Don't stare at them, but if you are looking at them and they look into your eyes, don't be embarrased and look away, look back into their eyes. This is a more personal form of communication, and when you approach them to talk, it should make it easier for you. If you want info on eye contact, I made an instructional post some time back and could dig it up for you if you PM me. Best of Luck, John

Come on guys (and gals) please post a reply, I need your help.

Hey, there was this girl I liked and I was talking to her anonymously on ICQ and she didn't know who I was. After like five months, when I was going to ask her out, she started going out with somneone. She was pissed that she didn't know who I was, so I told her over ICQ. She told me that I crossed the line and that if her boyfriend found out he was going to beat my ass. I said that I was sorry the whole thing happened, she replied "me too, your an ass. Anyways, me, my boyfriend (name witheld) and three other friends (names witheld) have to go now. bye" The reason I didn't want to tell her over ICQ in the first place was becasue of textual evidence. Now I have to go back to school tomorrow, and all these people know about it. There is also the threat of getting my ass kicked. I just wondered how I should handle this situation tomorrow. Your help is gratefully appreciated.

Hey Everyone, This is most certainly not my first post about this subject, but hopefully it will be my last post about it. There is this girl that I have liked for about two years now and I unfortunately haven't done anything about it. My problem is, is that I am gearing up to ask her out, to go to a hockey game with me. I don't imagine that I'll have any problem doing so, because I love her too much, it is just that there are two obstacles in my way. My first problem surrounding this situation is that my parents have the hockey tickets (to a NHL team), but they don't want to commit to giving them to me. They keep asking me who I am going to take, and I just told them that I was going to probably take one of my friends (someone they know), when in reality I want to ask this girl. I don't want to tell them who I am, taking until I am actually going because they will make a big deal out of it, and I really don't need that right now. The hockey game is not for another month yet, but I want to confirm that the tickets are mine before I go asking her to go with me, then looking like a fool if I don't have them. My second and biggest problem: I was in class and overhead someone asking a guy if anything was happening between him and this girl. As soon as I heard this, I started to have little flashbacks of seeing them together, never of course thinking anything of it until now. The thing is, I want to ask her out before this guy makes his move, but I haven't secured the hockey tickets yet. And it is nearly impossible to get her by herself in the hall becasue she is always with a group of people (for the purpose of talking to her). What worries me the most is that she hasn't really gone out with anyone for as long as I have known her and this guy is quite popular, and needless to say, I am not as popular as he is. She seems to be quite happy around him and I don't wan't anyhting to develop before I do ask her out. Please offer any suggestions that you can, I would greatly appreciate it. I have graduation coming up and want her to go to the prom with me, if I can't have her, I don't want anyone else

Hey DaXMan, Welcome to the club. As far as your post is concerned, I would have to say (if this just happened today), that you should see what happens tomorrow and try to make alot of eye contact with her, for more on that see my eye-contact post from some time back, you will have to search for it. If you can't find it, Private Message me and I will send you all you need to know.

Well, there aren't any ways around this situation. You must weigh yuor options and decide which one of these makes you happier. After that, you have to ask the girl that you chose out like right away. If you don't your friends will and you will be without either of them. Hope this helps you. I know the decision will be a tough one to make, but if you don't make one at all, you will lose out big time. John

Geez, if I had a nickle for every time you tried to justify asking out this girl that you like, I would be richer than Bill Gates. B.S. that you heard is somewhere and thought it was funny!!! Just ask her out already, don't let it get to you. Let me know!

This post is obviously a joke!

Just Ask Her!!!

Hey, if he really loves you, then you have absolutely nothing to worry about. He lives 250 miles away, if he wanted to keep another relationship a secret, he could, but you just have to trust him. Not much else to say about this!

well, I would have to say that after reading that, that she was being very rude. I totally agree with the fact that she is using you and that you should actually be involved meaningful realtionship, not with this crap. Just try once more to work things out. If it doesn't work, tell her that you relationship is over.

Hey, I totally agree with aloneforever, though with that attitude, he should not be "alone forever" anyway, just ask her to the prom. Not only that, but ask her out and then by default she will go to the prom with you. I agree in that respect with PLZHELP, that is, that you should be going out with her (if you really like her) and not just to the prom. Just go for it!!!