nanishimas

You know what, we do have almost the same situation. And I really feel the pain you are suffering right now coz thats what i felt when my girl friend had left me after 9-1/2 years of relationship. At that time, I could not think of a good reason why our relationship should end. I may call that time as the one month hell of my life coz it all happens at a span of a month. And you know what is the reason why we broke up? She said she does not love me anymore.....But the real story is that she had another guy with her. Actually before the we broke-up, she already told me that she needs space and she is busy with her job. And the only time I learned that she had another guy is when the guy answerd my call early in the morning and telling me that the owner of the phone is his girlfriend. I was so shocked and insisted that its impossible. because we just parted one week ago.....and now she already had a new boyfriend answering the phone early in the morning which implies that the guy is with her....The guy did even mentioned his name and told me that he has been escorting her for more than a month and that she told him that our relationship was already onesided and they were going out and even kissed one another. I bursted with anger and called her on the same day in her office and asked her if the guy is telling the truth, I know she was with the guy when I called that morning. You know what, she even lied and told me its not true and asked me to stop bothering her anymore. Since I know that the guy is just using her, so I asked her if we can talk. But on that day Sept 8, she really is sure to damp me. I even tried to give her the ring I promised to give her after geting a loan actually for our marriage. She told me that day that the guy was just the uncle of his dormmate and not his boyfriend. Me still trusting her, accepted all what she had said .....and knowing that she's out of danger I left and we broke-up peacefully. I went to her family house and told them that we separated for them to know everything. But no secret remains a secret.....two weeks later, she called me and asked if we could talk. So i answered yes...and you know what? she was asking for forgiveness and wanted to come back to me. She admitted everything that she had a relationship with the guy whom I talked. The bullshit guy even tried to call me but i did not attempt to answer his call. The saddest part is that she had sex with this guy just the night after we separated that sept 8. and she said that she was very sorry for what she had done.....And what happened next...we were back together...but the pain is still in me..I even want to kill the guy but both of them made that. Now we already got married legally and waiting for the church wedding. But you know the truth.....I already lost my confidence and self respect....You are lucky for having a chance to find a new, real and trusting love. For me, I am still struggling to accept the truth....she says she love me...but what kind of love is that.....and i dont have the courage to say i dont love her anymore...but still i am not sure.....if i dont love her..But everytime I have to say I love you I always have to think first unlike before .but for sure i am still haunted by what she had done.....for nine years how come we had not built a strong relationship. it is almost a year but at present im just acting as if nothing happens....Should I be contented that she was my wife....What angie said is correct.....go on with your life.....you still have a chance to have a good relationship.....unlike me.....haunted by the past.....without direction....with uncertain future...