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Sunshine7

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  1. Sunshine7
    Day 29 - can't believe I have got to this point !!
  2. Sunshine7
    Okay so I have decided to come on here less, but I still need to vent. I keep dreaming about you and have every night this last week and I wake up so tired. What the hell is that all about? I wonder what you think of before you sleep at night. I wonder what you are thinking now. Even though I know I need to take this road and I am as rocky as it is, but I will always think of you, because I have everyday for 6 years, I can't just switch it off, it's automatic!
  3. Sunshine7
    Day 17: Up down up down up down this is one scary rollercoaster!!
  4. Sunshine7
    I am so **** I spent any time on you. **** you right now!! ***er!
  5. Sunshine7
    Day 16: nothing to say
  6. Sunshine7
    Day 15: Still feels fresh in the mind, have done many things but nothing seems to override my thoughts of him. I wonder (as this is now a record for me which I am so pleased about!!!) does he think of me or wonder where the hell I am???
  7. Sunshine7
    Today I have had such an urge to contact you, more than any other time before. Right now though i know in my heart it's the wrong thing to do. If you cared if you loved me if you wanted me then you know where I am. You dumped me you made that choice so I don't have to do anything now
  8. Sunshine7
    I guess the realisation is kicking in, why did you do this to me why!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't stop crying now as I type this - why god why did you let this happen to me!!! I need your help more than ever now.
  9. Sunshine7
    7 days since your last text and 14 since contact from me, I keep thinking maybe you will send me something else because you haven't got a response from me, but now I really don't think you will. I actually feel you are over me already and that makes me feel sick, the fact that I meant nothing. 6 years no matter what happened is a long time, can you just forget me like that just like someone you just met? Are you waiting for me now? is that why you don't send anything else? do you think I am playing a game this time? I still hope that when realisation sets in that I have gone this time that it would at least mean something to you. I want you to realise you made a mistake and that you were wrong and that you do love me, do want me but just got angry and couldn't deal with things the way they were, and you just needed space to breathe and to realise yourself - that will stay in the back of my mind for months no doubt, I don't think hope ever dies. But for now I move on . . .
  10. Sunshine7
    Day 14: Wake up you are the first thing on my mind, check the phone have you called/text, no, start thinking about the fact you are finding this easy and I really mean nothing, get an urge to contact him, stop myself, get depressed, get up, make tea think about what to do today, get anxious, get real, come on here. You never leave my head and it is tiring.
  11. Sunshine7
    NC for me: She will be expecting a text from you on her birthday, don't send one, trust me on this that is the one day she will expect to hear and when she doesn't it will make her think and she will send you something a few days later. I know because that has happened in the past in my experience.
  12. Sunshine7
    Back to you - so she dumped you, said she didn't love you, didn't want you, dated other guys but wanted to be friends with you which you did for a time, then when you went NC she came back to reconcile. Is that recent?
  13. Sunshine7
    I really feel in my heart that you don't think of me for one second, 6 years and I know that you are probably glad I have gone, finally. It's been 2 weeks and I guess you are settling into your relationship with her and loving it. I was so good to you and you even knew that but it wasn't enough. NC won't bring you back because you don't want to come back, if you did you would have sent another text since the one 6 days ago, you would be making an effort, you would be here with me instead of her. I don't know all the facts they are just assumptions right now. But I don't know this time it just feels different. Maybe it's me that's changed and not you. Maybe I am accepting this even though I still want you to contact me. I feel so vulnerable right now, I feel safe in my house or if I am with other people, but alone outside I can't do that yet, I will try tomorrow though. I think the biggest thing I feel is disappointment, that after all this time I meant nothing to you.
  14. Sunshine7
    Day 13: I have a thousand questions in my head, but accept it is out of my hands, I want you to contact me but I don't want to contact you. I fear seeing you again. You feel like a complete stranger right now.
  15. Sunshine7
    Man I dont know - I know we are both going through difficult times, but your way with words is making me chuckle. One of your other posts actually had me burst out laughing, because I felt the same about my ex too
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