mpolus

I am familiar with how you are feeling. Often times I told myself, "I'll never find anyone as great as her again." Or "She was perfect and I messed it all up." It wasn't perfect, otherwise there would've been no problems in your relationship. Also, do you honestly think that there is only ONE person in the entire world that could make you happy? Sure, she made you happy during this phase of your life, but we all change and so does our "ideal mate." Do not continue calling her. Hearing her voice will bring back all the emotions and feelings you held for her when you were together. She'll also want to talk about the new guy in her life. Trust me on this one...it's better not to even pick up the phone than to hear about him. It's hard to step back and see this as a small period of your life. But when you ARE married 40 years, you will not even remember this girl. You'll meet someone that will make you say, "wow, I am happy to be out of that relationship so that I can pursue this one." I understand it's hard to date. You'll look at every girl and think, this isn't as good as so-and-so, or my old girlfriend never yelled at me for this. But getting to know people will help heal you from this heartache. Just be fair to those that you date, don't hurt them the way you are hurting. It's hard, but it's worth it. Matt

I'm a pretty shy guy when it comes to attractive women. And I'll be honest. There's nothing better in the world than having the girl of my dreams talk - and talk about anything, nothing, it doesn't matter. You can capture this guy's attention forever if you are forward and make things happen. It happened to me! She was very kind to me and showed me much more attention than she did for anyone else. It worked. She made me feel special and we were together for more than 3 years.

I think I know what I should do...but it would be nice to hear the same advice from someone other than the voice inside my head! I was dating a girl for three years. She was great. We always had fun, she was a Christian (me too), and she cared a lot for me. I decided to join the Air Force, it caused lots of problems. We fought a lot. I went to Officer Training School and was stationed in Florida. She came to visit for about a month. The same thing - we fought and generally didn't enjoy our time together. She kept saying it was because I joined the Air Force and she would get over it once we got married. I wasn't willing to take a chance that it was just a phase, so I broke up with her in June. That's when she tells me that she cheated on me while I was at OTS. Yes, she slept with another man because she "was mad at me." After a few months, I was okay. Then she decided to visit again a couple weeks ago. We had a fantastic weekend and all sorts of feelings came back. She tells me she's seeing another guy and has been sleeping with him. I say I want her back and to leave that guy, I'm willing to forget everything. She said no. Two weeks later, we talked a few times in between, she calls me and tells me that I'm the perfect guy for her. I told her to leave the other guy, and again she says "no, give me a few months to see if it works with the other guy." Obviously I need to put her phone number on reject, but I'd like to hear it from someone else as well. Thanks for the advice!