It feels like every time I try to do something nice for you, to let go and make things better between us, you have to come and ruin everything. You don't love me anymore. I get it. I really do. But why do you say I'm the one abandoning you? Why would you say I'm the one with the problem? I honestly think you like having me around, like a love sick puppy, waiting to compliment you all the time and apply to every whim you have. You're going right back to the people who insulted you, and then insulted me for defending you. Fine. That's your choice. Just don't expect me to get involved and don't expect me not to care.
I'm tired of being like I am with you, when every little gesture of kindness beats a million horrible things you say to me. I hate your big ego, I hate the fact that you think you're better than anyone, the way you act as if I was beneath you and how you keep pushing me away and then pulling me back again. I hate loving you. I hate needing you this much. I really wish I could erase the past two years, I wish I didn't think of you all the time, and I wish I never accepted that stupid idea of being friends after we broke up. You never cared. I know so. Then why keep me around? Were you feeling really that guilty or was it that you needed me too? I know you were like I am right now, all alone, and I was there for you... I guess things don't work the other way around. But I loved you, so there I was.
You have no idea what you did to me. You ruined me. Ruined my innocence, my dreams about love, my way of seeing the world. You made me think I was the one who was wrong. You made me think it was my fault, that I should have been the one to give up her career and her family to be with you, and not the other way around. You made your sister hate me. Your mom hated me. I'm not perfect, I know that, but you're not perfect either. Hell, you made me think it was a good idea for you to meet other girls, because you told me 'You deserve to be chosen'. I'm stupid. I have to be stupid. Is there another reason you can come up with, for having fallen for such a stupid thing? You practically asked permission to cheat on me. What the hell is that?
I know you have someone new. Yes. You've told me, countless times, about her. About how she's so cute and perfect. So unlike me, right? I hope she is as understanding though, because you are incredibly hard to figure out. I hope she is more patient than I am, what with your little tantrums and running away every time something turns difficult. You know, writing this I realize how wrong you were for me. I had an idea of love that you just didn't fulfill. You're not the man of my dreams, nor the love of my life. I want, no, I need someone who's there for me, who reassures me and tells me he loves me. I think I told you this once before. I want someone who believes is more important to keep me warm than undress me. And you're just not that man.