When Is The Right Time For Sex? by Jennifer Nickerson
Based on my own personal experience, I see that not having sex early in a relationship is a good idea. Let's face it, SEX COMPLICATES THINGS. As true as that statement is, it doesn't mean that sex is bad or a problem or anything else. It simply means that once you start having a sexual relationship with your partner, things can move on to a different level. Unfortunately, sometimes, both partners aren't on the same emotional level. Let me give you an example.
Recently I asked my brother how things were going with his girlfriend that he had been seeing for about a month. He told me that she wasn't what he was looking for in a relationship and then proceeded to tell me that she was still calling him and wanting to go out with him. My point is this: Perhaps he should have waited to sleep with her until he was certain that she was the girl that he wanted in his life. He had told her that he was just too busy to have a relationship as he had just gone back to school in addition to his full time job. Now, not only does she not get the whole truth, but he can't confront telling her that she is not the one he wants to be with.
Guys, honestly, have you ever had a girl "bug" you after you withdrew from the relationship? Did you ever think that maybe it was because you gave her the impression that the relationship was more than you actually wanted it to be?
Girls, did you ever think you had a great thing going and then wonder why he stopped returning you phone calls?
Please don't misunderstand. I don't think that the guys are all to blame. I think that usually the fault is shared equally. It takes two to get the job done. Often, I feel that men and women view sex differently. Women sometimes think that sex is an experience that is to be shared with someone that they love and see it as an act of love. Men sometimes think that sex is, well, sex.
I am also not saying that virginity is the key, although, it could be for some. (I have immense respect for those that chose to wait until they are married.) I am just advocating that couples wait until they are relatively certain that they are with someone with whom they would like to share a future.
There is a simple, realistic way to let the other person know that you are not ready for the relationship to turn sexual. Just let the other person know that you want to get to know and respect him or her before things are taken to that level. This doesn't have to take months either. My rule of thumb was when I felt really comfortable with the guy, I just knew that the time was right. I never regretted waiting, not once.