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sadman: this is pretty cut and dry. you took her for granted before. and as a result her interest level in you slowly plummeted. then throw in her ex boyfriend and you quickly have a recipe for disaster. now you are in the whole position of the mean/nice cycle. all of this says one thing. move on. stop talking to her. don't be friends. just move on. its not easy. but anything else is just going to prolong the agony. with time the pain and rejection will go away. but only if you stop talking to her, because every time you see her, it will just reopen the wounds. you've probably heard this before. i'm sorry i can't offer you anything more original. but this is the only path you can take. hope it helps. good luck.

yeah everyone has pretty much given you the correct advice but i know how hard your situation can be so i'll add my comment to try to reinforce it. she cheated on you so that pretty much should tell you that she doesn't really love you. you forgave her after she cheated on you... which pretty much tells her that she can do whatever and get away with it. she tells you you're the perfect guy for her and it will work later while she dates someone else... which means she's using you for back up and probably just calls when she has a fight with the other guy. she's playing games man. there isn't any choice you have to make. you just have to walk away. its easy to say and hard to do, but i'm sure you already know its the right thing. good luck buddy.

um just hang in there... it actually is not very uncommon to have never had a girlfriend by that age, even if you are good looking. obviously you don't have very high self esteem so we can assume that you haven't really 'tried' very hard to get a girlfriend. well the truth is, most girls are not going to approach you first. unfortunately the guy has to be the one to put him self on the line and risk rejection. and also, even if girls have been hinting to you that they like you, you may not have noticed because you are not confident. just be patient, and heres a few tips to help you out: 1. BE CONFIDENT. I don't care if you have to fake it out of your ass. You MUST come off as confident. No matter what people tell you, girls are not as attracted to shy guys as confident ones. (the girls who only seem to like shy guys are attracted more to confident ones buy are just afraid of them, and thus see shy guys as easier targets) 2. Do not be too eager or wear your heart on your sleeve. You have to appear as a challenge. Don't spill your guts to girls, be reserved and find out about them instead. Don't come on too strong, take it slow and remember that even if you like a girl a LOT, you still want them to think that you will walk away and never look back if they treat you wrong. 3. Be funny! Witty remarks are your best weapon. And girls for some reason always think you are confident if you are funny. Everyone loves a smart ass 4. Take risks and recognize hints. Often a girl will like you but you will have no idea that they do. After I got out of highschool I was amazed to find out how many girls later told me they would have definitely dated me in high school. I had no idea. High school sucks because if you ask a girl out and get rejected everyone knows about it... but its not like that later. And while youre still in highschool maybe try to ask out girls who go to different schools. 5. And ofcourse work on your physical appearance. Try to dress nice (and I don't mean preppy necessarily) dress whatever style you like and find a look that you like. After all you want a girl who likes you for you, not because you dress preppy. But its always safer to be clean and well groomed. And you can't do anythign about your face, but you can work out and get a great body. That will help your confidence as well. 6. And DON'T be afraid of rejection. Its bound to happen. But if you don't try you'll never succeed. Risk ='s Reward. Even if you have to suffer the barbs of defeat a lot, the rewards are still worth it. Hope that helps. Just be patient. I know lots of good looking guys who can get any girl they want and most of them didn't have a single girlfriend yet at your age.

hmmm honestly i would be cautious in this situation. physical things happen... and often times they are the result of hormones more then emotion. if this person knows full well that you have feelings for her but tells you that she only likes you as a friend, then most likely she is not interested in you as anything more then a friend. the fact that you 'do' get physical with each other is actually a sign that she really isn't emotionally attached to you. if she were afraid of being with you but really wanted to, then it would either happen or the physical acts would scare her just as much and they would not occur. you cannot let your own emotions toward her confuse you into thinking that she feels the same way about you. she has told you that she just wants to be friends and the fact that you are ignoring that implies that you are letting your emotions affect your judgement. be her friend, but stop letting the physical stuff happen. if she really wants to be with you, then she would come forward and do it. stop trying to justify why she doesn't. you are only setting yourself up to get hurt if you keep letting your desires overcome your common sense. she knows you want her. if she wanted you, she would be with you. your heart is coming up with a thousand reasons why its more complicated then this but it really isn't. don't set yourself up for a let down. the warning signs are already there. recognize them and use common sense in this situation instead of your heart.

I'm sorry bro, I know your position all too well. Unfortunately theres not really anything you can do to make it better. If she is cool with living with you and not being with you... well then the truth is that she stopped being in love with you a long time ago. The only thing you can do at this point is to be strong and move on. Trust me... trying to get her back by telling her you love her or begging her to come back will do nothing but make her lose respect for you. Its beyond difficult to do, but you have to start walking away. Get as far away from her as possible. Stay away from anything or anyone that will remind you of her (a hard task since everything reminds you of her huh?). Do what it takes to keep your mind off of it and do things to rebuild your self esteem (like getting in shape). Improving your body image will help you get some confidence back. Then start dating again. Its not gonna be easy... but its the only way. Unfortunately the fact that she is rejecting you just makes you want her more. After 11 years, you don't even remember what its like to date huh? I know, mine was only 5 years and I completely forgot. And the rejection kills your confidence so its even harder. Gotta love when the odds are stacked against you huh? Now the good thing about our situation is that we don't have a tough decision (yet). There is only ONE option. Be strong and move on. Don't show her your pain or that you want her. Its time to have some pride bro. The ironic twist to this is that when you act like you don't want her anymore, it will have an interesting affect on her. She takes you for granted now and has it ingrained into her mind that you want her. So when you start acting independent... it will actually make you more attractive to her again. Show her your new girlfriend and watch her reaction... So the tough decision is... what happens when your new confidence makes her want you back? Do you say yes or no? I know you want to say yes... but should you? (I'm still working on this part...) But for right now. Stop letting her know you care. Be independent, and work on getting your confidence up. Rejection will make you miserable, but it gives you motivation as well. Use that motivation to start working or something else to improve yourself. The best payback is to show that person that you are happy without them. Oh and to look better then you did when you were with them Hope that helps. I'm in the same situation. Pm me if you need anything bro.

well what wildncrazzy said is true... if you love him and you don't give him another chance you will definitely always wonder 'what if' and probably have many moments when you will regret it... BUT... as hard as it is, you have to try to think logically about the situation and put not let your emotions control you. Has he admited that he has done something wrong? You stated that he's acting like nothing happened. If this is the case, then you can't go back. Only if he 'acts' like he is really sorry and that he won't repeat his infraction can you begin to consider taking him back. (And notice I said 'act' because you must judge what he 'does' not what he 'says'.) If he is acting like nothing happened. Then this is a bad sign. Now, even if he truly acts remorseful you run into a second problem... he has screwed up and you are forgiving him. No matter how sincere he is about being sorry, by you forgiving him, you are subcontiously telling him that he can screw up and get away with it. I'm not saying he will screw up again necessarily, but now he knows that you will take him back. This makes a relationship a lot more tense as you will never trust him as much as before and will always have a sliver of doubt on the back of your mind. And if he had a problem with you being controlling before... well the situation just got a whole lot worse. Then you have the added problem of distance. He does not live close to you. A long distance relationship is hard work to begin with, but imagine a long distance relationship with someone who you don't really trust anymore because they cheated on you? What is that going to be like? In the end you have to look at the bottom line. You love him, but how does he really feel about you? Do not look at his words but his actions. He cheated on you. Does a person that truly loves you do this? If you say no, you will always wonder 'what if' and have regrets... but if you say yes, you are running the risk of having the same thing happen again. Ofcourse I know walking away is easier to say then to do. I am actually in the very similar situation as you so I know how you feel. Being in this situation hurts and makes you feel empty and alone. And it destroys your self esteem. But if you go back and he does it again... it will destroy your self esteem even more. Your heart tells you to take him back, but your heart is blind. You have to try to think with your mind as hard as that is to do. Time will help the situation... but when you're in pain time seems to move so slowly. But honestly, you know it in your mind if you think hard enough. Is he sorry? Is he sincere? Don't be confused about what you 'want' and what the 'truth' is. As hard as it is... just make this decision with your mind and not with your heart.