Velkeria

Hello Everyone. Just wanted to give an update on the mysterious phone call and to thank you for the responses. This morning, two days after the mysterious phone call from the ex at 10:45 p.m. I finally just called her to ask what she wanted. ( does this mean I broke no contact ? ) Phone call: Ring Ring Me: Hi... her: hello... Me: I see that you called the other night, did you need something ? her: No I just called.... Me: Well, why ? her: I just called... no reason Silence on both parts for 30 secs.... Me: Ok then, well i guess I'll talk to you later. Silence on both parts for 30 more seconds Me: Bye Answer: bye Any insight to this ? Anything is appreciated.

SOunds to me like your husband needs to decide whether hurting you or his ex wife is more damaging to his life.... Just my two cents but, i would think if there is no love, and you have been married for 13 years, YOU should be the most important thing. You said he doesn't want to be mean and sound like a P*, but cmon what does this woman really mean ? If she means nothing like he says than he should have no problem letting her go. mean or not. Hope this helps

Hello Everyone... Last night i received a phone call @ 10:45 p.m.... to my surprise, it was her.... I wasn't sure what to do, why she would be calling (there is no reason to call me) no ties left, etc... I remained strong and did not answer... Now I can't stop questioning in my head why would she be calling...... Was it to say hi ? was it to ask some stupid question, was it to tell me off? I don't know, but at this point I don't want to know either..... My head is telling me that the call wasn't for anything good.... but yet... theres that dang hope.... she hasn't called or emailed or anything today..... I guess if it was really important, she will contact me somehow. But it puzzles me, why call ? there is absolutely no reason for a call.

Hi Everyone ! I just wanted to share the agony of my experience so that maybe it will help someone avoid the things I did wrong. First and Foremost, NO CONTACT !!!! I can't say that it does work, but I can say that I did the opposite and all I did was push her away....... If I could go backwards in time 3 months, knowing what I know now I would have found the strength somehow to do it..... I should have done it... At least it would have had some chance of getting back together, not a guarantee but it's better than what I have now. Anyway, long story short... Girlfriend of 3 yrs breaks up with me two weeks before christmas, I begged, pleaded, threw myself on her mercy, etc.. called daily talked for hours, went over and over why this was happening... Finally I think she caved in, decided to give it a try but not wholeheartedly.... we talked about a cruise, I helped her move during this time, I took in her dog for a while....A few weeks later BAM!!! it happens again. Reason she gave me for this.... You didnt give me the space I needed, and I got really drained from all the talk and its been a very emotionally draining 3 months....... I have pushed her so far away.... So take it from me.... go no contact because what I did doesn't work... All i can hope for now is that the love was true enough that she will miss me now, but chances of that happening are pretty much ZERO. Good luck to the fellow broken hearted, please please do yourself a favor and no matter how hard it is, try the no contact. its gotta work better than the road I took....

Hi everyone, Well, I have a blind date today... Question..... Is it a nice gesture to bring a single rose ? or is that way too much for just a blind date ? Just considering it as a nice gesture, get things started off right so to speak... What do you think ?

Well, I kind of agree and disagree at the time. I think not letting the guy know he is coming after a LTR breakup is not fair to him, he should have the knowledge that he may be being"used" so to speak. On the other hand, if you tell him, and he's ok with that. Then what are you using ? he could be using you in return. and if that is the case then aren't you both kind of helping each other ? It probably wont turn out to be the relationship of your dreams but if you both benefit from it whats the harm ? I just think he should know some facts, but let him make the decision whether to stay or not. just my two cents

Hi. I am sorry to hear this. I know someday you will feel better. I hope that everyday for myself. You just gotta take it one day at a time. Personally for what this is worth, I would divorce this guy. You don't have to be mean about it, but simply if this guy is going to do this then do you really want to stay with him ? Do you really want to stay in a relationship where one person doesn't give anything in return ? I was in a relationship like that and I'm still hurting and very confused about the whole thing. I gave 110% and she gave nothing. I still love her, but I also want someone to give a little in return also. Drop this guy, youre young and have a lot of life to experience. Make the experience a happy one for yourself. I hope this helps.

Hi everyone, I really hope everyone is doing ok. Some of you may remember me, most probably won't. I'm an emotional trainwreck, or at least thats how I've been described.... anyway, long story short... Girlfriend of 3yrs one day says she needs her space, she needs to figure out her past, etc.... During that time I did the begging, pleading, calling, etc.... a few weeks after she I guess decided to give it a try but not wholeheartly. We did a few dates, we slept together twice, went out for Valentines day I bought her a fancy trinket box with a beautiful saying inscribed on it about How i dream that her and I could be together again. she cried like a baby when she opened it. a few days later she sent me the email........... "I tried but i can't continue this" yada yada yada...... at that point I told her to not to call me, write me, email me, etc, then i said If i get stupid and call, just hang up on me. well she did for a few days... Then she started to take them again......... Then this past weekend, she comes over, says she wanted to see her dog (I am watching while she is moving) she doesnt want to talk to me but yet does, tells me its over again, tells me that I deserve someone that can give as much to a relationship that I do, and she isnt that person. she was also wearing her wedding ring from her past marriage ( on the right hand) I asked why she would be wearing that she said because I can, it doesnt mean anything like that to me anymore. Jesus, why can't I just drop this woman ? why is this so hard ? do I love too much ? or is there something terribly wrong with me that I would still continue to love this woman ? Why would I still want to be holding on to something that she tells me time and time again that is over, but yet still takes my calls, even called me last night asking what she needed for her computer to get it fixed.... What the heck is wrong here ???

Hello everyone. Last night after tormenting myself for 2.5 months of heartbreak, after two months of questioning why this happened, begging her and god to bring her back to me, after writing and saying all of the feelings I could muster, I made a decision to give it all to god. All I have tried and all I have said, has gotten me nowhere, and brought nothing but misery. Surely whatever happens, whether she comes back or not is not in my control, no matter how much I love her, I can not change her mind. It is ok for me to be sad, it is ok for me to mourn the loss, but it is not ok for me to neglect everything else in my life because of this.

Hi Everyone. I want to thank all of you who have given advice to me lately. It does help me put things into perspective. So thank you. I am hurting. I dont know how to make it stop. I love this woman very much, and she says she loves me. here goes, I have been trying my hardest (although not very successful) at the no contact thing. I have called her, but she also calls me. when she does call sometimes I am able to just take it lightly and all goes well, sometimes I get into the emotional things and I know i am not supposed to do that. I am trying.... Last night, she calls me after she gets home from her yearly Dr. appointment.... She says she has something for me..... She says its an Rx for Viagra, I asked why is that for me ? she replies well its for me, but the cost is cheaper for men so the Dr. wrote it out to you. Obviously she has some issue with not being interested in sex or some form of libido issue. I have heard her say this in the past but it has never really been an issue between us. So I start thinking this is a good sign right ? Then I start thinking why is she getting Viagra if she is not wanting to be with and that she needs her space ? then off goes my mind racing about all these thoughts...... if not me then who, etc.... Also, I told her that I love her, and maybe we can try out the Viagra this weekend, her response "we'll see".. "I do want to come over and see my dog" now is that a good thing ? is she just coming over to see her dog and feels that maybe she is obligated to have sex because I'm watching her dog ? or is the Wanting to see the dog a good reason for her to use to come over without telling me she wants to have sex ? She broke up with me in December for reasons of fear of commitment, and I think because she fell for her boss. She did date him admittly after she broke up with me, when I asked about there being more, she first said no, then after a week or two she came out and said yes, and then a few weeks ago after I sent her an "i'm letting go email" she said she didnt do anything other than kiss him... I have alot of trouble believing that, and It really burns me up to think that she works and talks with this guy daily... I have told her that and she replies " you are really overblowing this whole thing, it was nothing" But yet i saw an email from her to him that said "I miss you. I was hoping to see you again tonight before you left" To me that tells me there was a little more going on than a kiss or two. I have told her that I am afraid and hurting, she tells me that I am worrying too much, and I just need to chill out and relax. Then I get the phone calls from her that tell me the good things that happen in her life, like her daughter getting her first job. (the other day) She talks about going on a cruise with me in the near future, she wants me to fix her computer this weekend, I think these are good signs. But then she only says Ilove you after I tell her, she wont come out and tell me her feelings, and when I said i'm in one of three places and those are A) You love me, you want me to wait. B) you love me, you do not know what you want, do what i need to do C) get lost she replied with were at the A- or B+. can anyone give any advice ? thoughts, comments ? Does she love me ? Am i being strung along ? what do I do abou this boss thing and my feelings with that ? ( she even has his cell number programmed in hers) not unusual for the workplace my boss class me all the time for business, but I have a fear that there is more but she tells me no and that I'm making too much out of it. Anything would be great.

Hi. Ok, Im very much in love with Laura. I am an emotional train wreck to quote someones response to me. I realize that I am and I am trying to get through this. I feel so sad and lost without her. That being said here is my dilemma Last night I asked her to dinner. She accepted. we went and had a good time, until the end where i got pushy with the emotional stuff... I love you, etc... Well, i felt really bad this morning I called her....... I told her that I was sorry for being pushy and that the last thing i wanted was to push her away. Well, long story short, we started talking about the cruise again, and then i asked her to lunch..... I made a promise to myself of the "no pressure"... We went to luch and I didnt get all mushy and needy. we talked, she held my hand, she kissed me when i dropped her back off at work. She wants me to come over this weekend and fix her computer..... I know i need to let her miss me, but i feel as though if i dont tell her that i love her and want her that i will lose her... I really do love this woman and through this whole thing she has said she needed her space, but i can't seem to get that through my thick head.... what is going on ? is she coming back ? is she playing me ?

I am writing this here because I have to stop telling you things. I have to stop putting myself through the grief of losing you. I have to let you go for me, and for you. I have physically suffered, and emotionally been to places that I can not stay. I am hurting, and that is very normal. some of my reactions have not been normal, and I sincerely apologize. I do not want you to ever feel afraid, one of the things i treasured was the thought that you felt very safe and secure in my arms. I will always hold a great love for you, because of what we had... the good times, the fun, the best friends, etc... but that is gone now because of your decision. I have to accept that and move on with my life. I write to you every night in a journal, maybe some day I will no longer feel the need to do so, but for now, it helps me. I still think about you all of the time, and I know as I let go, that those thoughts will fade away gradually. but I will never forget. I do love you. you know that, i have been open, honest and loving to you and your family. But I can not keep holding on to you. the things you are doing and have done are things that you are searching for externally... but you are looking in the wrong place. the thing you search for is internal, it is inside you waiting to get out and wanting so badly to get out. I know you felt very alive with me.. I know there are questions and issues with kids and stuff, but when you search for relationship advice on the internet about what a good long lasting fulfulling relationship contains, it described the way i felt and what i thought about what we had. It obvioulsy wasn't the way you are/were feeling about our relationship or this wouldnt be happening. I have to let you go, so i can be healthy. It doesn't mean that I don't think about you or have stopped loving you, it means that I know I have to do this for myself and for you. I do love you, I do miss you. My love for you is true. I am letting you go, I do not want to, I have to.. I have to for you, because I want you to be happy and if you are not happy in a relationship with me, i have to let you go so you can be. I have to let you go for me, so i can find happiness and someone who loves me for who i am and what i stand for. i have to let you go so you can find yourself, and maybe someday find your way back to me. I just hope that the "someday" is before I have completely lost the special love for you and the things I have held so dearly about us. I have to keep telling myself to let go, this has not been and is not easy for me, you know that. But I have to keep telling myself to let you go for you and for me and someday it will happen. Someday I will be me again. I just had to get this out.... I am trying so hard not to call her, not to visit her, not to plead and beg, anymore. I have to let go, this is so hard !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Someone help me !

I ask what is wrong or confusing her. I get the response of I dont know about love being forever, I dont know if I can commit, I dont know if I can handle more kids in my life, etcc.. it does sound like a real big commitment thing.... also, her marriage of 14 years ended with her husbands infidelity which destroyed her, but she was also not faithful during that marriage. I dont know what to do anymore.

Hi. I really need some assistance and if anyone could help I would whole heartedly appreciate it. My girlfriend of 3 years has recently broken up with me in December 2003. Her reasons for doing this were that she was not sure that she loved me enough to go further. Also things came up about my children and if she was ready to accept that type of commitment, and so on... I felt this was very strange behavior for her, and had an intuition that someone else had come into the picture. During this whole period she talked to me on the phone while i tried to convince her of how "right" we are together... A little while later I confirmed that her married boss was in the picture........ She admitted it, and said that she thinks she went to that in order to get her mind off of breaking up with me. After I found out she says she has broken it off with her boss. I do believe that she has. When all this happened, I think she changed her mind about some things, that night she came to my house, gave me a symbollic key to her heart but a note attached to it that said it was the key to her heart but she is not ready for me to use it yet. she also stayed abit that night and we ended up in bed. After that she has called me at least once per day with small talk, I have called her but only a few times. Whenever I bring up "us" she says she needs to figure everything out and that I shouldn't pressure her. we went out to dinner last friday night, went back to my house and again ended up in bed. She is going through alot right now, in process of moving this weekend (which she asked me to help her move) she also asked me to keep her dog for a few months until her residency situation is stable. She also has problems with her teenage daughter, and her son just turned 18 this month. She tells me that she does love me but only after I tell her, she wont offer it up so to speak. She is talking about us going on a cruise in March and that she thinks it would be good for us. but she still says that we are not "together". What is going on ? I am so lost without her !!! I truly do love her. She even admits to me that she won't find anyone that will even come close to the fun, compatibility, good times, etc that we had together. but she still insists she needs to figure things out. I am lost confused and always wondering what is going on in her mind. I did ask if she would ever be able to make a commitment to me and she replied "I haven't ruled out the possibility"... Oh God I just want her back !! What is going on with her ? What do I do ? Do i just let her make all the contact ? Or do I call her to tell her that I love her ? Do i watch the dog ? Do i help her move ? Do i hang around for god knows how long waiting for her to make up her mind ? I have no intention of seeing anyone else as I am too wrapped up in her, but I dont want to wait forever either. This woman truly is the best relationship i have ever had, the fun, the compatibility, the love, it was just right....... I need some guidance please !!