sari84

Hi there, i dont know where to start, i dont even know if it's so necessary that i should post this problem, cos maybe some of you may think it's rather silly. But this has been bothering me for quite a while okay...not so long ago, i was hurt emotionally by my ex bf, but as time goes on, im now totally over him. And the good news is, i've now found someone else who loves me so dearly, treats me well, and takes care of me. He isn't my BF yet, though...we're just really close and i know he's after me, this is for sure. and im started to love him too. I've even been introduced by him to his family. And his family seems to like me too. I've met them twice, and yesterday we went to church together. so it's going well. And the bad news is just within my self. Because in the next few days, i'm going to move out from my house to a new apartment, and sharing with my friend. I have to admit she is very attractive girl, i know this, because whenever im with her, i notice that all guys's eyes are on her. I just feel like im being left out whenever im with her. Im not saying that i'm not pretty or anything, it's just ...maybe not if compared to her. And This guy would certainly come to my new place, he's gonna help me getting all my stuff in there. So they're certainly gonna meet. Im so scared ...very scared that he's gonna fall for her. This girl has already have a bf, but the very thought that my guy would admire and compare me with her is so hurting me now. Silly arent i? but that's just how i feel right at this moment. I dont know what to do, i need some advice, please...

thanks for the replies, For Hero_99, i dont get it how you said i might get offended? why would i get offended? anyway, the reason why i asked such question was because i believe that we shouldnt judge a book from its cover (in this case: looks) HOWEVER , some people can also fake their action to get what they want. This is what i was concerned about. SOME people can act so sweet, as kind as an Angel, and treat you like a princess, yet in time (after they get what they want) they show their true color. by this time it's too late, our heart is broken, and comes disappointment. This IS the problem that i OFTEN find when i interact with some people over time. I was told by an old lady at the bus stop the other day, that to see whether a man is a "good" one, is by looking at his shoes! (i didn't bring up this topic, she just pointed it out to me out of nowhere!) if his shoes are clean it means he's got a good personality or something like that. Ofcourse this made me laugh. but she said " proof me wrong!". i still dont see the reason why she said this. I didnt get to ask her why, cos by that time the bus came, and we said goodbye. i was just wondering if she was right? okay forget about this shoes business, it sounds silly to me. You know what i mean anyway? I hope nobody will get offended (i still dont see how someone out there would get offended by my question?) if so, i am sorry, i dont have any intention to offend anybody. this is just one question i am curious about, and would love someone to give me advise. thanks

Okay...i was just wondering what kinda guys attract you girls in the first place? many times i'm attracted to seemingly gentle looking guys (cos i thought they must be gentle inside too),but always get shocked when i finally see their true color! this always disappoints me, and i dont wanna be disappointed again. what sort of things do you need to take into account when you judge guys? Please dont mention the look again....it's already my mistake, i know ! is there any other ways to see whether someone is genuinely kind/nice/gentle, or just a liar wrapped up in kind/nice looking appearance? i really want to know! Oh...and where do you find them? thanks!

Oh ! pardon me!!! i thoght she was 10 yrs old!!! i didnt see that she is 10 mths old...sorry...sorry...in that case i have no idea...hehehehe

hahahaha...i find it very funny actually....i used to be like that too, when i was a child. but that was because i was embarrassed with my dad. i began acting like your daughter, hating to take a bath. have you tried to reward her with something after she's taken a bath? makes sure she takes the bath by herself, she is nearly growing up

i cant be more agree with you! i think you are very wise, and strong. World needs more people like you, for sure! congratulation for thinking that way. Keep us posting!

i'm so sorry to hear what happened to you. After i read your story, I guess your problem might start from when she was pregnant and had an abortion. the fight started to begin, and you became bussy for 2 weeks, not seeing each other. It was a moment when a girl becomes very emotional about anything, especially how you treat her afterwards. maybe she felt as though you didnt love her anymore. Because 2 weeks is quite a long time, especially after such a dramatic event (abortion). the fact that she called you to ask for a break up on thursday, but you called her on monday, is a possible explanation that she got really mad. She might think as though you took her for granted (you thought it was a joke, right?) i dont know what she thinks, but if i were her, i would think "what made him think as though it is not possible for me to dump him? what does he think he is?" okay...i might be wrong here, but it's possible. My best friend could be the best example, her name is Anna too, and she did exactly what your Anna did. She got pissed off with her guy for no reason. Somehow she just found him suddenly very annoying. I did blame her for that, but she is my friend. And her guy is my friend too. Anyway, when a girl acts very distant and avoiding you, it's best that you leave her alone. Trust me, my friend Anna was utterly disgusted when her guy was still chasing her around. When he finally stopped, she still didnt like him back. So it's best that you stay away from her forever. It's hard i know, but there's no point of trying to fix things if one side doesnt wanna compromise or even try. Trust me, you are wasting your time. Just forget her, heal yourself, and in time you will meet someone new, ok?

hi there, i'm so sorry to hear that you've just broken up with your bf. You must feel devestated especially in Valentine's day. I totally agree that you shouldnt go back to your bf ever again. I personally think that he is too old for you anyway. Okay, you might not think so right now, but i believe this is for your best interest. This guy is not worth your time at all, and you know that. i myself have also been there. first 2 weeks, i was really down, but i told my mum about it. To my surprise, she was really happy! because she knew that he wasnt the right one for me. And the break up was such a bless (even i didnt think so back then). There are so many better guys out there, all you need to do is to ask your friends to introduce you to their friends, so the circle goes on. You'll definitely meet someone new, and much better than your ex. I'm not saying that you should go out with anybody any soon, you need to heal yourself first. Give sometime for yourself until you completely dont care about how you feel with your ex. Until you dont care if you are single. That's the time that you are ready to meet someone new. and you will ! trust me. things always happen for a reason, your ex is an evil guy, you certainly wouldnt want to spend the rest of your life with someone who finally has shown his true color: "a jerk". sad huh? well...i guess it is all part of growing up, and risk of being in love. you can't be really sure that someone wont break your heart no matter how "kind,gentle,loving...blah blah blah" you think he might be. people change. feelings change. you just have to accept that. only when you meet someone who is right for you that he will stay that way. we just have to look things from the bright side. And that's what makes you a better person, and a better lover in the future, ok? take care, girl, we're all here to support you. remember, you are not alone

im so confused right now. I posted about my relationship problem 2 weeks ago. My boyfriend has been ignoring me for no reason at all. He often does this, but this time is the longest, and the worst. it has been almost a month of no contact. Yesterday is V-day, and he didnt even try to contact me. Normally if he ignored me, i would try to get us talking again. But this time, i havent done so. I deleted his number from my phone. i'm so sick of this game, so i sort of gave him up. All i'm asking now is why is he doing this to me? (okay...silly question, i know) This is not the first time, last time it happened, i addressed this matter to him,and told him that if he continues doing this, i would rather break up with him but he told me not to worry/ think about it, because if he doesnt love me anymore, he would tell me and break up with me in person, not ignoring. But he hasnt said any of this, so i assume we're still "together". yet there has been no contact whatsoever for around 3 weeks now, not even in valentine's day. i actually thought that he was gonna make a surprise or something, like he did before christmas. But no. i'm sooo disappointed. I wasnt expecting roses or those kinda things. i just wanted him to remember me. and treat me like a person. that's enough. i keep on thinking about his promise, and it drives me crazy. why does he do that?i dont have any desire to come back to him ever again, but the thing is, i seriously dont wanna regret knowing him in the first place. because right now, i feel like he is worst than any of God's creation in this entire universe. i used to think that to be a human species is supposed to at leeaaassssttt have some brain....and some heart....so it should never be this way. i guess i was wrong? right now, i'm kinda like "was i really THAAAATTTTT stupid that i couldnt see it coming? was i thaaaattttttt naive of letting him into my life?" i just...i dont wanna feel this way anymore....can someone please help me? this feeling is putting me down, i feel so much like a retarded. and i hate it. i'm sorry for such a long post, i just have to take this thought out of my chest, for now and forever.

no wonder your ex left you in the first place ! you dont even love yourself, why should other people love you? ofcourse it's up to you whether you wanna take your life or not. we dont know who you are. but i know that atleast you are such selfish bastard! you dont realise how lucky you are, man,....the only thing that makes you unhappy is one stupid female who does not even appreciate your existence. What about other people? have you ever thought about them? have you ever realised how much your parents love you? your sisters/brothers, your best friends? what about your job? when you do your job, you are exchanging something valuable for other people, they need you. that's why you get paid. they appreciate you. Man....dont let one stupid jerk finishes your live....please...you dont even know what God has planned for you. Relationship comes and goes. it's the hardest thing of all, because it involves emotion, but everybody has been there. been dumped and rejected, but new love always comes, and you wont be able to prove what i've said if you decide to die now. But ofcourse...it's up to you....all im saying is, there is hope if you have faith and it will come to you if you are patient enough for it to come to you when i die, i want people to see me as something, i want them to cry for the good deeds i have done hen i was alive. Now.....what would other people see you when you die? probably ? "oh....i dont wanna go to that stupid minded guy's funeral...he took his own live because of a chick, right? hell....why should i cry for him?" no way,.... thats pathetic, man.....damn pathetic

please watch BRUCE ALLMIGHTY. Now!

DONT CONTACT HER !!! no....it's definitely not a good idea. Look...i was once in the same boat as you are now. all she feels is guilt. if she is considerate about you, she will leave you alone, giving you enough time to heal completely. Tell her the truth that you cant see her so soon, because you need time to get back on your feet. She has to understand that. let her know that you will be fine, so she will stop "chasing/worrying" about you. surely you can be friends again later when you are trully over her, but not now. okay? trust me, dont contact her. it's really bad for you right now. PM me if you need to talk more about this, ok?

i dont really get the part when u said that you did "that thing" with someonelese. did u do it when you were still with ur "real" boyfriend? or before you even went out with him? cos if my first guess is right, that means u cheated on him. and i'm afraid i'm not impressed by that. surely i do understand why ur boyfriend was angry, cos he felt he was betrayed. once trust is broken, it's very difficult to get that back. sorry....it's the truth. i dont think i can help you here. according to you, his mother knows that you had sex with another guy, while you were going out with her son. whose mother wouldnt freak out? i'm not trying to scare you off or something, but i'd just want you to see things from her perspective. and from your boyfriend's perspective as well. i know you still love him and that you trully regret what you did, but i'm afraid i dont see how you can ever get the trust (or respect, in this matter) from his mother again, even though you may get your boyfriend's. i'm so sorry.....maybe all you can do now is to try and forget all these. forget your boyfriend, forget what you did, just move on, okay? let all these be a lesson in your life. let the time heal you.

i can tell you a whole page of advices, but you dont need that. all you need is the assurance that you will be fine. And trust me, you will. i was once in the same boat as you are now. most people have been there too. It really hurts, i know, but you dont wanna hang on to something for too long, because your life still goes on. I dont blame this girl for feeling out of love with you, i'm not saying that she is cruel or anything. because she is just human. the only problem is, she is not meant for you. no matter what the problem is, she is just not meant for you. as simple as that. because if she is, she will never leave you. trust me on this. love comes and goes, i am sure that she loved you, and you did everything for her, but that's just the way life is. you meet several "wrong"people...getting hurt many times, before you meet the one (okay...how many times have you heard this advice? no doubt 1000 times, right?) because it's true. You think that she is the only one for you. Yes...maybe for right now. But not when you meet someone new. i am speaking from my own experience. and my other friends' too. your only job right now is to try to forget her. make no contact. occupy yourself; borrow some movies, the ones with some messages in them, do some sport, it makes this chemical in your body that makes you happy. you are not the only one, that's why there are so many people in this website, because they are just like you. only time heals, and God knows what is best for us. remember: things are not always what they seem. when things dont turn out the way they should, you have to believe it is always to your advantage. you might not know it, until sometime later (i got this wisdom words from a friend, and it really does wonder to me)

that's a good topic !!!!! i was just thinking that i need to make some kind of list about that too. it's good, so you wont settle for a second best! really really good topic indeed. my ideal guy would be: older than me (preferred), protective (a must), humorous, on time, respectful,tall (although not necessary), fair skin (it's just better, but again, not thaaatttt necessary), not stingy (it makes me feel so sick!)),does not show off what he's got (i'd prefer to find that out by myself, as the time goes by) ,not a smoker (come on..please consider other people's health!), can give me advice when i need it, is not scared to say no, is not scared to criticised me, gives me surprises once in a while, makes me feel secured, is interested in every little thing i do, knowledgeable, has good job/ at least goes to uni (everybody wants good future direction, right?), mm....well built body would be good (but not like mike tyson's, though!)...able to cook, not into those noisy and lots of swearing type of musics....mmm....but most importantly is able to make me smile. without smile, anything else is not worth it. only the guy who possesses the above criterias would i consider to be my future husband. else? maybe just for fun. am i asking too much here? hehehehhehehe (maybe...yeah?)