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ClarenceRutherford

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  • Birthday 03/26/1962

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  1. Did you tell him the two of you were finished? Imagine you were sort of close to your EX's parents. Would be hard. Have run into people that knew me and my EX but hadn't heard we were through. Would say something like, "Yes, I liked her too and wished it didn't end, but it wasn't my choice...."
  2. Yeah, I should chuck the scanned image of her and I. Yet..... it's at least SOME proof we two existed. Kept thinking we talked about marriage. Thought my memory was off. After a little going back in my memory, recalled how SHE was the one that said, "....I know your career in TV will mean you have to move out of this small town... So when we get engaged, I will move with you..." etc. Once suggested drinking a "passion fruit drinK." She said, "I think we have enough passion between us..." As I posted, she told me was a 30 y.o. virgin. Tried to caress her breast outside of her shirt one night on her couch. Yes, I was a Christian then but still like to get some kind of physical affection..... As you get older and feel you've missed out on some things others enjoy.... (We dated 6 mos.). Was the only time I did that with her. The end came soon after.. She told me that was as far as any guy had gotten... and how "we needed to save something for the wedding night...." Didn't necessarily disagree, as I really thought she was the one for me and I didn't want to "blow" our relationship by pressuring her for sex (was scared of myself and thought any forwardness might turn her off toward me). Being lonely at 26, wanted a real relationship more than sexual pleasure (which I had at 17 in HS, much too early).. SO I WASN'T DREAMING !! That really did happen !!!... (It just feels like it never happened and look at what I could have had....) Am never gonna forget it. As much as I wanted to when it ended... Agree. One thing that does help... the woman I dated 4 yrs. later... She was a much better fit. The one who took my name wasn't so judgemental and the best part -- wanted to ML to me and spend her life with me. The EX, Tammy, the one I have idealized over the years (physically, she looks like my wife), remembering more details of our relationship and how I didn't handle myself so well.. she was cold-hearted and wasn't really a good fit for me. The one I found just after I turned 30, I consider her a Godsend... And to think I feared God had forgotten about me at 30... Did everything right (mostly). Didn't pressure women for sex, Considered myself a good guy who tried to treat women right, etc. Yet look... single at 30 and only got CLOSE to getting engaged..... So I know how these virgin, never-kissed-a-girl at 30 men feel.... (I read their posts and try to help them...) Wasn't a virgin but had very limited experience (5X total 17-30, just sex, never LM).... So remember, there's likely someone even better down the line. *** Sorry for the rant. But this is a good place to get stuff off your chest...
  3. Methinks it's always gonna hurt. Have posted about a 30 y.o. woman I dated for 6 mos. at 26. She was my first real relationship and she brought up getting engaged. When it ended (in 19-eighty-eight) it devastated me. In January, 20+ years later, began remembering all the pain and was a wreck at work for a week. Would have short bursts of tears. Searched desperately to find any pics I had of her and I. Found only one. Had long ago pitched the others as well as other former GFs. Tammy's the only former GF pic I have. There we were, young and in love, holding hands at the water fountains park with my best friend and his wife. The colorful clothes she wore... The happy faces... No warning or signs of what would later happen.... Still have the pic (scanned it but pitched the original) but I try not to look at it. Want to keep it bec. it's the only proof I have of that critical relationship and hope she still thinks of me once in a while and the love we once shared.... Traces "..Faded photographs. Souveniers of distant places. The ring she used to wear... Memories in bits and pieces... Traces of love long ago that didn't work out. Traces of love with me tonight...." Once In a While "...Once in awhile will you try to give one little thought to me Though someone else maybe nearer your heart In love's smoldering ember one spark may remain If love still can remember, the spark may burn again ..." The sentiments expressed in those songs from the 1960s fit me exactly..... Sorry... Now I wanna cry...
  4. Post here instead of contacting your ex! It's a good thread. A good way to vent without any real life consequences. TBH, that's one reason I use this board. To vent.....
  5. Okay. He's a cad. But keeping in contact like that, it isn't good. It makes you look weak and needy. If you have to write something, write one of those letters you never send. Then pitch it. Or... write your thoughts here or in the "Post Here Instead of Contacting Your EX" thread. You have your kids to think of now. You're the "brand" image, just like you wouldn't soil you brand or family name by doing something disgusting.... Don't lower yourself by trying to reconnect with someone who doesn't want you. I know it hurts....
  6. Why did you email him, Doloros? What is that gonna accomplish?
  7. Good that you're moving on and have seen the futility of begging, crying and trying to convince your EX to return... But hey, we've all been there, done that, so it's not like we're unsympathetic.
  8. You're doing well, baRx. Have read some of your posts and am proud of you. dolorosa, You're doing the right things. Remain in strict NC. Great that you read many of the stories from here as others' experience can only help you.
  9. Am sure he hears you, corgidude. I know it feels horrible, but it could always be worse, right? You could also lose your job, your home, etc. He may well be protecting you from even farther emotional harm. Perhaps this is a lesson guys need to go through so we will be "toughened" for the next heartbreak, which won't feel so devastating. Went through the same things you did, cried numerous tears and couldn't understand why this all happened to me when it seemed like she was "the one." Felt my prayers weren't answered either, though I was a believer. So it happens to all of us. Methinks it's a part of life lessons. You can't really know joy if you haven't experienced pain, right?
  10. Glad you like that. I thought of this thread while hearing that song in one of my '60s rock and roll CDs I was listening to in my car CD the other day..... Great "get even" song where the woman comes back to the guy she dumped bec. she thought the guy she left him for was gonna be "the one...." Other lyrics of the great song Don't think I'm being funny when I say You got just what you deserve I can't help feeling you found out today You thought you were too good you had a lot of nerve Won't say I'm sorry for the things I said I'm glad he packed up to go You kept on bragging he was yours instead Found you don't know everything there is to know Before I go I'd like to say one thing Don't close your ears to me Take my advice and you'll find out that being just another girl won't cause you misery You say you can get any boy at your call Don't be so smug or else you'll find you can't get any boy at all You'll wind up an old lady sitting on the shelf
  11. Yeah, weekends are horrible. But so are mornings. You just lay there in bed staring at the ceiling or window.... Was gonna tell you "I shouldh't have to tell you this, but I think you now see the mistake in getting involved in that kind of thing...", but reading your post more closely, you acknowledge that. The threesome usually only benefits the guy, whose more than willing to "experiment" like that and get so sexually satisfied on his end. Those things - like FWB - are dangerious and can kill your relationship. No, I don't have any experience with that kind of thing, nor ever wanted two or more women at a time.. Don't ever give him that satisfaction, either way, of responding in a PM, text, email or phone call. Remember, remaining friends helps the dumper heal. Staying in NC helps YOU heal and move on.
  12. This is hilarious. Don't know if I should believe what a psychic says, but this is great!!
  13. Must say that's an unusual story. Rarely does the dumper come back to the dumpee, so you were fortunate there. Sounds like you've learned and figured out she's not the one for you, unfortunately.
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