RogueBoi1

Hi, Once again my BF and I are having trust issues again. I'm 24 and my BF is 51 but he doesn't look it at all. He as an AMAZING body. When I met him( 2 years ago) I thought he was in his mid 30's. So that gives you a pretty good picture of how good he looks. The last time we had a fight about him taking naked pics of himself at home with his camera. I was basically told to accept it or leave(out of the relationship). He says he doesn't remember but he promised he wouldn't share them on the internet so I figured, ok. It was either accept it and share in it with him or have him hide it and lie to me. Now correct me if I'm worng but aren't BOTH partners in the relationship supposed to be honest and open with each other. Well, sometimes I would ask him if he took pics that day because I liked them too. He would tell me to check on the computer but then other times he would say I was invading his privacy and looking around on his computer for them. He's sending mixed signals and its confusing me. Now for the most recent problem, like I said my BF is far more older than me. Friday, I came home(we recently moved in together) and was supposed to cut the law. Well, I went in the house and was going to check my e-mail(like I do every singal day). I moved the mouse cause the screen saver was on and a box with and e-mail appeared that said "Hey man I like your pics." Well it said a lot more stuff but I didn't read anymore of it(I respected his privacy and left it at that). I thought "you son of a b$%^&h, you are sharing your pics". So I went to the site and looked up his screen name and low and behold, there were pics of him which his cock hanging out and pics of just his cock but the face was all blurred out. So then I clicked on his messages from the site and there were a lot more messages to him. Now before you think I invade his privacy, I didn't read them I just wanted to see if he had any. The only reason I know what he talked about in one of them is because one sentence in one of them said something about his property in Wisconsin. I told him that that is all I read of his messages because when the screen came up, that is where my eyes were at. I didn't go in intentionally to read them it just happened that my eyes looked on to that. and that is the honest truth. What hurt me the most is that in his profile he put that he was 31(I could care less about that) and that he was SINGLE and looking for friendship and 1 on 1 ENCOUNTERS. So from all that I got that he was sharing naked pis of himself and he was chatting(or e-mailing them) with other gay men. When I called him and confronted him on it he laughed like it was a joke or something. He said it was a "game" and that I should make a big deal out of it because the profile was all a lie anyway. He just blew it off and he expects me to except it. What does he want to get out of that? He said he likes to hear that hes still hot and cute. I tell him that he is every day. Just me( a 24 year old man) wanting to be with him should tell him that. But it's made me feel like I'm not enough for him, like there is something wrong with me. I have a profile on a different site(which he gave me trouble about cause I was looking for friends on the internet) that says that, I am monogomusly coupled and I even say I have a boyfriend. I'm looking for friendship and conversation. I have three pics on there all G rated. I told him when I joined the site and usually tell him that I've been on it and have chatted with guys. I've been honest and told him guys have asked to meet me for sex and even offered to be my "sugar daddy". I told him that when guys ask me for that stuff, that I tell them I have a boyfriend.I met one guy on there(which I told my bf) who is really nice and has common interests that I have. One night I was at the book store and he called, said he was in the neighborhood and asked if we could meet. I said sure. We were in a public place, lots of people, absolutely no chance of anything sexual happening. We met, talked about X-Men most of the night. He asked if I still had a BF and I told him "yes" and he respects that. He doesn't hit on me, he doesn't flirt with me, he respects my relationship with my BF. I told my BF that I'd like to be friends with this guy and I even wanted to introduce them to each other but my BF is jealous over it. I don't have feeling for this other guy other than friendship. He says my demeanor has changed since I met this other guy, maybe it has but its because this guy is my first gay friend that I can talk about gay stuff with. Now my BF has locked me out of his computer(cause that is the only one at the new house) because he thinks I'm snooping in it. I promised him that I wouldn't do that again along time ago and I've kept that promise. I didn't go on his computer looking to snoop. HE'S the one that didn't log out and left the site open to get messages and since it is a PUBLIC site to view photos than I had a right to go look at his profile. Now maybe I was wrong to see if he got any e-mails but I honestly saw that he got some but I swear I respected his privacy enough not to read them. When I called him on it, he tried to say that he didn't chat with anyone. So even when he was caught, he was still trying to lie to me. I guess I'm just trying to get some advice on what to do. Should I accept his lame excuse? We've talked already and aggreed not to share naked pics on the internet. But he's already damaged my trust in him again. I don't like going to work and having to worry about what hes doing. I'm not trying to be controlling, I just want him to share his day with me and vice versa. I want to share my day with him, I want to include him in my day. I just wish he felt the same way. Again, I may have been wrong to see if he had any e-mail from other guys, but he broke my trust when he shared the naked pics(blurred face or not). He chose to hide that he had a profile on and was sharing naked pics of himself but at the same time gave me s**t for having a profile that said looking for JUST friends. When I found out that HE was sharing naked pics on line, I chatted with a couple guys and I posted a couple naked pics of myself. But I told them I had a boyfriend at the same time. Unlike his profile which said he was SINGLE, that really hurt me. Like I was nothing to him or just a convenience. Next time I saw him I even told him I did it. Partly in retaliation and partly cause I wanted to be honest with him. He said it was different than what he did because I had already had a face picture on there which has be there since I signed up with the site. He says it different cause he blurred his face. I told him " no it isn't". He blurred his face cause he doesn't want anyone who might know him to recognize him. I don't care if anyone recognizes me. The difference is that, HE posted naked pics, HE said he was single, HE said he was looking for sex. I may have had a face pic when I posted my naked pics but I never once took out that I was monogamously coupled and just looking for friendship. I'm having a hard time trusting him now. How do I know he's not hiding anything else? How do I know he isn't f**king around on me? It's always in the back of my head now that he's hiding something else or lieing to me. Any advice would be appreciated and thank you ahead of time. ROGUE

Hi all, Let me start by saying thank you for viewing and answering my last post I put on here. It's good to know that I'm not the only one thinking the way I do. Well, since last time my bf and I had resolved things(or so I thought). We talked and I apologized for invading his space and he apologized for hiding and lying to me about things. Well, heres the problem...While he says that he promises to be more open and honest about taking pictures, we had a kind of playful/serious argument about it again. He told me that if he felt that I should know about him taking pics than he would tell me and if not than he won't tell me. Now that doesn't sound like someone who is going to keep their promise. He's already promised to share them with me 3 times already and every time hes broken his promise. I must be completely stupid for believing him. Now at first I didn't like him taking naked pick of himself because it might ruin my one chance a day with him(and by that I mean sex because of our age difference). He promised not to spunk when he takes them some I've learned to accept the fact that he takes them and have told him that I really like them and even enjoy when he takes them. I thanked him for sharing them with me. You see...I work during the day and he stays at home. He knows what I do during my day...I go to work, leave work, do my errands, chat on-line , whatever. When he asks me what I did, I tell him everything I did. Even though I know he doesn't like me chatting on- line (because he feels that all men want to do is hook up for sex) I still tell him I do. I know he's a little insecure about it so thats why I tell him when I do. I tell him who I talk to, what we talked about, and I even tell him when guys try and hit on my or ask if I want to hook up. I don't me to make him sound controlling, hes not, I tell him all this stuff cause I want to, because I know that if rolls were reversed I might be a little insecure too. I tell him cause I want to be sure he knows that I'm JUST TALKING and not looking for anything else outside of him. Anyway, I tell him all of the good things and the shit that happen with my day. But when it comes time for him to share his day he only tells me the shit that happened and conveniently leaves out taking pictures, the one fun thing he does with his day. I've told him that I don't want him for his money, or a place to stay, or just sex. I want him because I love him for who he is not what he has and if that means that hes going to take pictures than I've learned to accept that fact. I don't know how to get through to him that all I want from him is to be open and honest with me. I thought being in a relationship meant that BOTH partners are COMPLETELY honest and open with each other. Am I wrong or am I just wishing for that fairy tale relationship? I know he wouldn't like it if I dressed up in drag so I asked him, what would you do or say if I dressed up in drag around the house. Both taking pics and dressing up in drag in the confindes of the house and almost the same situation. On one hand, I know hes going to take pics, so I had to learn to accept it because it was either accept it or leave if I don't like it. He told me that he wouldn't like me dressing in drag and that he probably would leave me. That told me alot. That he expects me to accept the fact that he takes pictures but he wouldn't accept me dressing in drag( which I don't do, it was just an analogy). Am I wrong for accepting this or is he wrong? I'm getting tired of being in a double standard relationship. I love him more than anything but I just don't know how to get through to him that I just want to be apart of him and his day, just like he want to be apart of mine. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks for listening.

Hi, My boyfriend and I have been together for three years now. There is a big age difference between us but I love him because he acts like a big grown kid. He works out of home and I work else where. Well...he at one point in time had stated to me that he can only shoot his load once a day and is worried about keeping up with my sex drive. Now, when I'm away he likes to take nude pics of himself with hard on and all. I don't think that there is anything wrong with it as long as he doesn't spunk. My feelings are that if he does it than I am missing out on my one chance to share myself with him. I told him that if he does it without me than I'm going to do it with out him. I mean he's the one who told me that he's worried about keeping up with me and if he wants to waste it on himself than I don't think he should be able to enjoy seeing me spunk if I can't him. Is that fair? When he first started to take pics of himself, I didn't like it because I was worried I would miss out on my one chance with him but I told him that I won't mind if he wouldn't spunk. Since then he's taken many pic and I trust that he hasn't spunk while doing them. He always tells me that he doesn't have anything to do all day but he tells me when I call him from work to ask how his day is going, he tells my all the shit that happened through the day and convinently leaves out the one the fun he did with his day(taking pics). The first two times he didn't tell me I we offened because he obviously had no problem with sharing all of the shit that happened with his day and just wanted to be apart of the fun part of his day. I told him that I like it when he shares them with me and I think some of them are pretty tasteful and that I just want to be a part of his day like he asked of me. I have been completely open with him with my day but he lacked on his end. I told him please let me be a part of his life but he seems to only remember that I I didn't like it when he took them(even though I had told him I did like them twice before that). Now...he used to take pics at least twice a week before he went on vacation and when he can back he claimed to stop cold turkey. Something in my head told me"yeah right" he used to take pics like it was a ritual and then he stops, I don't think so. So I asked him if he took pic of himself, I even asked him in the most excited way I could to show him that I wouldn't be mad and that I liked seeing his pics and being a part of his day. (Now keep in mind I tried to show him that I liked and accepted his "hobby") He looked at me and lied right to my face. He told me that he hadn't taken any pics since he got back from vacation. I knew he was lying so I found his hidden disk. Now I am not proud of what I did and feel bad for defying his trust even though he defied my trust first by lying to me. The disk and pics taken that were taken after he got back from vac. Now don't get me wrong...the camera and pics is not the issue. The real issue is that he lied straight to my face and didn't seem to have a problem with it. Now I know we both defied each others trust but the fact remains that if he had just been honest and open with me(like he asked of me) than I wouldn't have snooped in his draws. Does anyone have any advice or comments on what to do? How can I get through to him to just please let me in and be a part of his day? How can I get him to be honest and open like he did of me? Thank you for reading. ROGUE

Hi, I know what your going through but from the other end. My boyfriend likes to take pics as well. Maybe you to should trade(LOL). We've gone through the same thinkgs. Let me start by saying my bf works out of home and I work elsewhere. He always said how he had nothing to do. My bf and I have a significant age difference between us and he has stated to me that he can only shoot once a day and is worried about keeping up with my sex drive. Now, I don't know your guys age sifference but I know that I got made at first when my bf would take pics because I was worried he would waste his one load a day when he took them and then I would miss out on my chance to share myself with him. We agreed (more I had to accept) that because he was going to do it anyway, I would rather be a part of it and have him share the fun(or at least entertaining) thing that he does with his day rather than only the mundane shit that he did. I started to feel like thats all I was there for. Plus, I would have rather of had him share it with me than to lie and hide it from me. I thought being in a committed and loving relationship meant that you ware honest and open with each other. Now I told my bf that I liked it when he shared it with me but he decided to only remember that I made a big fuss about it before we came to a resolusion and decided to hide it from me. Now I did the same thing your bf did. I knew my bf was lying to me when he said he didn't take anymore pics cause he was doing it at least twice a week before and he claimed to stop cold turkey. Something in my head told me "yeah right" and while I am not proud of what I did, I looked through his draw and found the disk that had his pics on it. They were dated dates that occurred after I had asked him. The thing that hurt me the most is that when I asked him, I was actually acting and sounding excited, trying to show him that I like it when he took pics because I thought some of them were pretty tasteful and that I supported his choose but he decided to lie straight to my face. I know it was wrong to go through his stuff but had he just been honest about it I would not have invaded his privacy. He told me he wanted to be a part of my day and share everything with him. All I asked was that he do the same. Anyway, my bf and I came to the resolution(which I made sure I reiderated to him)that I like it when he does take pictures and I just want to be a part of his fun day rather than just the shit. He said he would share them when he took them and I promised not to go through his stuff. Give your bf time to trust you again. I know with my bf and I that as long as he keeps up his end of the bargain(being honest and open and sharing) than I will keep up mine(and try and trust him again and not go through his stuff). While my bf and I should not have done what either of us did, we both still love each other very much and I'm sure your bf loves you too.