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Yostina

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About Yostina

  • Birthday 03/24/1988

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  1. I totally understand what you're saying. That's exactly the point. I have to work on having realistic expectations instead of living in those stories I create in my head and in my imaginations. I tend to do that a lot. I have to see things as they are and take actions according to this anymore.
  2. Of course, I agree with you. I just meant that I don't want to do things for the sake of finding a man. I would love to be a proactive person and make those changes for myself and if I meet someone on my way then it would feel so good this way as it happened naturally.
  3. It's really very helpful to read this. I'm just trying to not rush when it comes to learning from all the negative experiences I've had in my life, rather take my time to seriously understand what went wrong and my mistakes to be able to make a change and apply those lessons. One thing I need to work more on is to not have expectations from anything or anyone because that's what truly disappoints me. I tend to live stories in my head as I'm very emotional to the point that I hate it, but yeh I'm slowly getting better at this too. Best things happen unplanned and I pray one day I will meet someone who is both right and ready for me. Thanks so much once again and best of luck to you too!
  4. Totally right. This type of men know they are leading someone on because they are doing it according to their terms and convenience. I'm refusing to give in to this so I'll just shut him off. Have no time to waste on someone who is not ready for a commitment and does not even know when and where he will be! I hope you too prioritize yourself and take the right decision in your case. It's totally not worth it. Thank you for sharing your insight.
  5. Agree 100%. I'll close that chapter and move on. Thanks a lot.
  6. Thank you for your insight. I was hesitant, but not anymore. Everything is so clear to me now and I took the decision to get him off of my head and focus myself and goals at the moment. I hope one day I meet a good man who wants marriage and commitment.
  7. Everything you wrote is 100% true. I really love your approach to life and I hope I can reach to this point very soon. I was never this negative, depressed or anxious before I met my ex-fiance. There was extreme emotional abuse and at times it felt like it would get physical too. It really sabotaged me to the point that I didn't even know myself, but since the day we broke up I took a serious decision to not dwell on the breakup and let it take a toll on me. I already wasted 8 years of my life so I'm never adding not even one day more to waste. I started making a lot of changes in my lifestyle, I'm taking very well care of my health. I started to work on my dreams that were buried because of him, I'm making a lot of new connections. I still need to be more open to socializing with people and do more activities as I'm more of an introvert and have a hard time socializing, but I'm working on it. I'm truly taking actions to better and I'm getting rid of every negative thing in my life and I don't want to settle for less than what I want and believe I deserve. I too want a family and to get married and unless the person wants the same and is ready for that, I'm not going to waste my time with them anymore. Once again, thanks so much. I truly appreciate your words and encouragement and I'm taking your advice to heart.
  8. That's why I was not into meeting him so quickly as he wanted. This was the first time I answered a DM and met the person actually. Also, I use my social media for work. I'm a fashion content creator so it has to be public, but I never post provocative stuff, just outfits and lifestyle. But I see your point and I'll be more aware in the future.
  9. Like I said above, I might have explained myself wrongly, it wasn't to prove himself, but I wasn't ready or looking for a relationship as I was still in a healing process looking after myself and I was also being cautious, wanted to at least know something about him and making sure I want to give this thing a shot.
  10. First of all, I really appreciate you taking the time to write me this advice and those great examples. I've just been around negative and bad experiences unfortunately and this has impacted me a lot, but I normally don't approach people with a negative attitude. I don't judge anyone and I like giving things a little time to see before I decide anything whether to start a relationship or to end it. After my 8 years LDR which ended early this year, I've been so overwhelmed and I just got out of that awful trauma. I've worked hard on my mindset and still working on it, it takes time and effort. I'm totally aware that he should have mentioned that he is moving and to let me decide whether I want to continue in this case or not, but he also offered me to come there, buy my ticket and everything and was trying to convince me, but I have responsibilities here, work, my family and other stuff. It needs time and planning if I want to visit him there. My life is unfortunately not flexible at the moment. Overall, I still don't think he is a bad person or wants to play me, but the timing played a big role. When I decided to chat with him first, it was not to prove himself, maybe I explained myself wrongly, but I wasn't even ready or looking for a relationship as I was still healing and plus the fact that I was being cautious and at least know something about him before meeting. So many guys send DMs so it was hard for me to make sure I want to give this a shot in the beginning, but when we talked for awhile I felt good and he even appreciated the fact that I didn't meet him right away because he said he would've maybe thought that oh so she meets anyone randomly so I still think it was a positive thing I did. Anyhow, once again thank you so much for your words and explanation. You do make some valid points and I'll take it and work on it. I'll see where I can do volunteering where I live, I've been wanting this long time ago.
  11. I’m only talking from my experience with men and literally all the women around me live the same thing. These days they just don’t know what they want. Maybe if I ever meet a serious guy who truly knows what he wants I would have a different perspective, but I’ve just lost hope in meeting someone honest and direct. I can’t be blamed for that too if this is the only thing I’m seeing. I’m not analyzing him, I was just confused and wanted to get clarity that’s all. Another thing he said before is that he doesn’t want to get me stuck because of distance and his work and he doesn’t want to make the same mistake as he did with his past relationship so he also had issues with distance before. How can he ask me out from a distance? The problem is he left early and it would have been too early to discuss future plans we were just getting to know each other so it’s a bit complicated situation. I’m not trying to make excuses for him or anything, but he was also honest at some point and I’m now willing to take things at face value.
  12. But even though we texted for nearly 1.5 months, he could’ve mentioned that he is traveling soon for a long time that’s why he wants to have more time to spend with me in person, etc. I would’ve at least been more understanding. When he asked to meet from the first time he texted, I thought he was just rushing things. You know, there are so many creepy people on social media so I was just being more careful. Anyways it is what it is nothing to do. And btw he just answered me back with 2 long voice messages telling me how crazy his days were regarding the business and he kept asking me many questions and asked me to keep sharing and caring and that he is thinking of me. It seems that he wanted to take his time to get back to me with a full response. He usually answers me very well after he takes long. Oh well, I don’t think I will ever understand men and what they want or how they think.
  13. Thank you for your insight. I agree, he should’ve been honest about it from the start, but it seems that he didn’t want to risk that I might tell him off. Still, he was not honest and that doesn’t change the fact. And like you said, too much absence with even no real future plan or clear intentions is just not gonna work. He is a busy guy and too much going on around him and he moves a lot to many countries and one day the contact will obviously be cut by itself so why drag things and get more feelings involved. Better do it now.
  14. It’s totally unfair with all honesty.. I wish I told him that from the start, but I didn’t think of it so deeply in the beginning. Now that I’m seeing his way of contact, his mixed signals and analyzing every word he said, I realized the situation very well. Good thing that it’s not late for me to shut him off now before anything happens or causes me pain.
  15. I agree. I’ll completely back off before this happens. Let him think I’m the one who found someone else.. thanks for your advice, totally makes sense🙏
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