digital nomad

Hi, I can only second how difficult it is. To deal with your girlfriends regular upsets sort of eats into your heart as time goes on. Even if you dont notice how, you get pulled into a dynamic of guilt, victim and rescuer. Then there are all the moments when things are good and you think its not so bad after all. And then out of the blue something you said was misunderstood and you are attacked again. So you learn to avoid things, start to tread carefully. And you end up feeling caged, and resentful. I am getting out of a similar relationship be it without the suicidal threats. I dont mean to be cynical, but dont be surprised if she is the one that will jump into bed with someone else and run off. And you will feel so angry and filled with rage against the unfairness of it all. Just saying it so you can think about it. She is weak and the demons she is fighting are are worse than yours. But just because she is weak it doesnt mean that you are that strong. Does she realise how difficult it is for you? Can you express your emotions honestly and feel she understands and take them in without defences? Does she understand you as you are - not in relation to her? That is does she really have any love over for you? She keeps saying she loves you, but does she really care for your best? As far as her suicidal threats are concerned...you can help her realise that she has problems and that she needs to learn to deal with life in a more constructive way...but you are not responsible! She is manipulating your mind to make you feel guilty. The world is filled with rescuers and she will find someone else that will play that part for her, and some day she will probably find a bigger space inside her, with new possibilities and less fears. But until she is willing to face her fears and go through her suffering she isnt gonna get there. Suffering can be a necessary teacher in life. One last advice...try to talk with others together. Its too easy to get lost in a cocoon as a young couple where one thinks no one understands. But the communication that has broken down from too many harsh words can be helped by someone outside the relationship. Im thinking about you two tonight and I know life will solve this for you. Lots of love.