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neallo82288

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About neallo82288

  • Birthday 12/20/1968

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  1. neallo82288
    From my understanding that is what no contact is all about. YOU cannot initiate any contact whatso ever. Now you must realize that any contact on your ex's part should be kept to a minimal, that is sy hi and things like that and nothing about you and what you are doing even if she asks. Also, no questons about what she is doing. She may or may not care but out of politeness ask how you are doing (great is best answer). Ask her how she is doing and hows things are going but nothing else. All contact initiated by her should be kept to under 8 mins and you have to run to somethong important. Never avoid an ex, because avoidance leads to even more pain on your part. Just remember to keep your emotions in check during all contacts.
  2. neallo82288
    My friend, who is female, has been going out with this guy since christmas and in the month and a half, he has had a woman stay the night 5 times. Not the same woman mind you. Here's what I know: Women involved A=my friend; B= his ex/friend; C= another friend; D= a new girl. C stayed the night a month ago. B stayed the following Thursday. C stayed the whole weekend 2 weeks ago. C was over there at his house late last wednesday. D probably slept with him this past friday. A was over ther most of the day Saturday and Sunday, but, Monday, she decided that she had enough and decided to leave him alone. A has tried but couldn't leave him alone each of the previous times and insists that she is done, but she keeps checking up on him and wanting him to call, but she says she won't talk to him. What can I do to help her stay away from this destructive behavior?
  3. neallo82288
    Run man run, once a woman latches on thwey suck the life out of you. JUST JOKING ladies dont get to mad at me. Just ask her out and get to know her. She seems intereted and you might be running out of time here man. so, ask her out and know that if she is going out of her way to make conversation then she is a nice person and will accept and thereforeeee, just by asking her out you have lost nothing and worst case scenario you have gained a friend. Better, yet, best case scenario you have gained your soul mate. It's a win, win situation and they don't come along very often.
  4. neallo82288
    There are two types of NC in my book. 1. Where the dumper wants and needs space. If they want and need space then you MUST give it to them. Which is where just the normal NC comes into use. In normal NC, you as the dumpee and the one still pining cannot for any reason make contact, but in the same instance they can call you and contact in any form. If they are contacting you then yes, answer them by all means. But you must remember to keep it short and sweet under 8 mins any more than that will result in hurt and discomfort. 2. This is where you know if you hear their voice you will throw up. Then any contact is just plain regenerating all the pain of the break up. Then the dumpee needs to do a STRICT NC. No contact to them ex or from the ex.
  5. neallo82288
    That is why you have a friend or sibling go with you to get the child, because you do not have to see her or even talk to her(in person). I know it is hard and to let you know I went through this same exact thing prior to me ever finding this site (10 yrs ago). heres another post that might help, it sure saved me alot of pain. link removed
  6. neallo82288
    link removed read that thread and tells you how to deal with whqt you are dealing with. that one post saved me alot of pain
  7. neallo82288
    Just call her up and state nothing more than I wanna see my son and tell her when you will be there to get him and when you will have him home. Then take a sibling and go get him. AHave the sibling goto door and get your son and take him to you, this way you never have to see her or talk to her.
  8. neallo82288
    Just call her up and state nothing more than I wanna see my son and tell her when you will be there to get him and when you will have him home. Then take a sibling and go get him. AHave the sibling goto door and get your son and take him to you, this way you never have to see her or talk to her.
  9. neallo82288
    When children are involved there is a way to do nc and it is hard to do. You call them and ask to speak to the children involved and thats all and if the children are too small then talk to the ex ONLY about the children and nothing else. My worry is that you are not an active part of their lives and in the long run if this continues these children will resent that fact and even dispise you. The children are more important then any problem you and the ex have or had. You two need to put your problems aside and get along if only for the childrens sakes.
  10. neallo82288
    What I am worried about is the fact that you are still suffering after 7 yrs. Man, have you thought about a therapist? Your present gf might wanna go to just to see if you and her can get beyond this point. Now, about her. She is materialistic and in the end the end up lonely and in poverty. The things she said about you were disrespectful and mean. But they showed that she craves material things more than love. Usually, mterialistic people end up divorced 3 - 4 times by the time they are 40. So just be happy with what you have and how hard you worked to get what you have.
  11. neallo82288
    Here's a thread that might just help you and everyone hurting from a break up: link removed remember that nc is for you and follow these rules and everything will work out.
  12. neallo82288
    Most cases child support can and should be handled prior to the divorce date. GET a lawyer to help you out. Trust me a good one will make him live in his car and pay you a fortune. Discuss the babys future with him, but not support (theres time enough to worry about that). Find out what role he wants to take in the babys life.
  13. neallo82288
    Well, what you want and what reality brings are two different things. Why in the world do you want to be with someone that cheated on you and less than a month after breaking up with you he has someone else living with him?? As for him feeling guilty enough to fix a problem, do you want him coming back to you because he is feeling guilty? What kind of basis for a relationship is that? As for whether or not he is happy with the new girl is irrevelant. You are not with him and he has chosen a new path for his life and yes it hurts because he has chosen not to include you in the new path of his life. Now, go out there and fix the things you have been negleting about yourself and work on yourself. You deserve better than what he has to offer and well, you need to accept that. You are too good for the kind of life he has to offer.
  14. neallo82288
    Trust me man, sending this email is like shooting yourself in the foot. Self inflicted pain, while lets others no we are hurting, it does nothing but hurt ourselves. Whatever you do, you cannot change the minds of others. So why send it? It won't make her change her mind and all it will accomplish is hurting yourself. Leave her be and start a strict NC. NC will enable you to find ways of dealing with pain. Now, take a notebook and write down things you want to tell her, but never tell her and burn it at a time when you no longer need her.
  15. neallo82288
    There are things that you can do to find yourself and move on. It takes more to mourn for someone that has left our life than it takes to move on. Things that you need to know is: 1. Time truly does heal all pain. 2. Life is too short to sweat the small stuff. 3. It is over. 4. There is a reason for the relationship to end Now, how to move on. Well, start working on yourself and the things you have lost (about yourself) since the relationship started. Start a strict NC and that means none from him either. Start going out and having some tiny bit of fun (it will multiply over time). Find fiends that you have neglected since you started this relationship. Start a workout regime. Start reading books. Come to enotalone and read posts. Do anything to take you mind off of your lose.
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