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needafriend

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  1. needafriend
  2. needafriend
    Almost 3 months since I started the NC challenge. Have heard from him. A few emails.. a few phone calls and texts.. some with apologies some: "Just wanting to see how I am". Some I have responded to, some I have ignored. For no particular reason... I guess I'm just numb to it all now. If it wasn't for that gut wrenching feeling of panic when his name flashes up on my cell, I would say I'm over it! It's just always at the time I least expect it and it catches me completely off guard. Because I don't expect to hear from him... nor particularly want to! I have no expectations. I'm sure he is happy with his girlfriend. But he is most definetely experiencing regret and guilt for treating me the way he did.....
  3. needafriend
    You hurt me so so much. You threw me away like a piece of garbage... after I put so much effort into keeping YOU happy and keeping US alive. Now you have a girlfriend... what makes her so special? Why wasn't I good enough?? I bet you treat her a million times better than you ever treated me. That makes me sad cos I deserve so much better. I can't believe you could just ignore me... you really broke my heart. Because of you, I don't think I will be able to trust or open my heart up to anyone for a very long time. This makes me angry because I might miss out on someone truly wonderful because of the damage you caused.... the fact that I clearly meant nothing to you make it even worse. I can honestly say I never want to see your face again. I hope you get what you deserve. Remember mate, what goes around, comes around.
  4. needafriend
    Sucks don't it!
  5. needafriend
    Day 30. Mixed feelings. I have no interest in contacting him... but I think a small part of me still wants him to contact me. Because there was no real ending to our relationship, I feel a bit numb.. I think I'm still in shock! I'm happy I don't have to travel 50 mins down that long lonely freeway to see him. I'm happy I'm not around for him to take me for granted and treat me like ****. I do miss him. I miss the laughs and that gorgeous smile. I'm jealous someone else gets to wake up wrapped in has strong arms. I'm jealous she gets to giggle with him all morning until severe hunger finally draws them out of bed. I don't miss feeling not good enough. I don't miss feeling unwanted and never knowing where I stand. I don't miss watching him eye ball other women in front of me and basically throwing himself at them. I don't miss that fact he didn't really care about me at all... while all I could do was watch on.. so helplessly in love with him. There is basically 0% chance I will ever run into him. So this is it. It's finally over. Done. 'Bye baby'
  6. needafriend
    Day 26! Today is a good day. Wow, it went faster than I thought. Although I've had some excruciating moments... it's been a lot easier than I thought it would be. After this weekend which is of course - filled with fun plans with friends and family (and a date!) - I will have made it to 30 days! I hate him. He's dead to me. It may sound harsh, but its the only thing keeping a spring in my step! Coolchick - Keep your head up babe!! If a guy thinks they can "replace" ladies as foxxy and fabulous as us.. they are stupid... and we don't date unintelligent men do we!?!? xx
  7. needafriend
    Thanks Coolchick and Jonathan. What hurts even more is the way it ended. He basically stopped returning my calls and texts... and THATS IT! After 8 months together. NOTHING. And now I have to see that basically a week later.. he is referring to his new conquest as his "fave girl". I have walked away and am trying to move on... but I think the lack of acknowledgment is what hurts the most. And no Jonathon - I AM the official thread killer on ENA. I swear it happens all the time!! Haha And to both of you -- I think the hatred for your ex is a good thing as this time. The blind angry HATE I have for him is sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day.
  8. needafriend
    Day 23 -- It's obvious through Facebook that he is dating someone new. She is not very attractive... but obviously he sees something in her... and she must be better than me because he never offered me committment. I knew this would happen. I was just a fall back girl. It hurts. So much. I deleted him and all of our mutual friends on Facebook. Doubt he will even notice. I'm crying in the mornings. Every. damn. morning. Please someone tell me it gets better????
  9. needafriend
    Day 17. No attempts at contact from him. Shows he never really cared. Brilliant.
  10. needafriend
    Day 7?? I think! Woke up in a pool of sweat two mornings ago - I had dreamt of him. In the dream I was clinging tightly to him after realising that him and one of my best friends were making eyes at each other accross the room. I was trying to talk to him and he was simply staring at her the whole time. Eventually they said "we have a special something". I threw a major tantrum, desperatley clinging onto him saying "I love you" over and over. Then I watched them walk about together. Not a great start to that day! He commented on one of my FB pics yesterday. What a douche bag. I feel like untagging him in all of my pics, cos I know how much he loves them... I'm trying to ignore the pain. But it's simply unbearable. And on and on I go........
  11. needafriend
    Day 3 -- Bad start to the day. Woke up and cried for 30 mins. Typical morning blues. It was so hard to drag myself out of bed and go to work. Busy weekend planned. Hopefully it will keep my mind off him... An old fling that I was infatuated with called last night to ask me out for dinner. Usually I would feel extremely happy about this. Instead... I feel.... Numb. Why am I still waiting to hear from him?? Stupid woman ](*,)
  12. needafriend
    Day 2 -- trying to go cold turkey. No Facebook profile checking! Before I started no contact I noticed he has been chatting up some ladies. Wanna know what's going on. Good luck to him I guess. Hope he's happy. Hmmm do I? Can't stop thinking about him. From the moment I open my eyes in the morning...... it's him... allllll day. It's so frustrating. Mind over matter... as they say
  13. needafriend
    Day 1 again. Whoops. Texted him last night as I heard about a death in the family. He would be devastated. Ah. I knew it was wrong (for my healing) but right (for my soul). Didn't get a reply, didn't want one. Don't care about that... But I start again.
  14. needafriend
    Me too! Good luck! Day 4: Trying to stop waiting (or caring) for him to contact me. Deep down I know it's not gonna happen... which hurts. But I feel my attraction/idolizing to him dying more and more each day.
  15. needafriend
    Wow - thanks for your helpful advice. I would seriously love to start up my own event management business, but have aimed to finish my degree first. I understand how hard it is to get ahead in this world. Cost of living is constantly rising and the salaries are staying the same... ugh... I just feel that I am at a cross roads and need to step foot in the right direction. Take care of myself. I'm just scared.
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