Thanks for your replies. I really appreciate both you taking the time to write what you did. Avman, you made me laugh with that "killing you this kindness" comment. Well, if you have to go, that's a very nice way to go. Lol. Eppenta, I understand what you mean about how a person should not end their life because of a down fall in their life. The problem is, however, my entire life is the down fall. I'd be ending it simply because it is my life. I'd like to believe I have a lot to live for, people actually do care about me, and things will eventually get better, but no offense, I'm having a hard time believing it at the moment.
I was seeing a psychiatrist up until a couple of weeks ago. She decided that I was fit enough to no longer see her. Though, I was there for my eating disorder, which is actually still a very large issue for me. I mentioned that I get depressed quite often, but she never treated the matter like it was important. It makes you wonder if schools just hand PhDs to anyone walking down the street. To her credit, though, I did lie about my ED only at my last appointment. Though, she really shouldn't believe anyone under 90 pounds at 5'6" with years of problems with anorexia. I'm not sure if I'm going to search for another therapist for a lot of reasons: 1) I hate therapy. 2) I hate being put on medication. 3) I fear if a doctor sees how much weight I've dropped, I'll get stuck in In Patient care at some hospital. 4) Assuming #3 happens, I'll likely lose my job. 5) My parents are completely oblivious to my situation. I told them once that I had an eating disorder, and my mother finally arranged with our insurance to get a family physician. She never found out if I even made an appointment. My father just didn't care at all. If I tell them that I have a problem with depression, I know their reaction will be the same. I couldn't possibly deal with that. That would probably be the thing that would tip me over the edge. 6) I'm getting dropped from my parents insurance plan in the next couple of months, and won't have a chance to be insured until September. Plus, if #3 and #4 happen, that chance of being medically insured will not even happen. I think I could get over #1 and #2, but everything else prevents me from getting treatment.