tough_girl

It's the third time they have made me cry this week. I don't understand why they always do this to me. Whenever they talk to me, I feel as if i'm always rejected because I'm a girl and because I'm always not good enough. I feel that my friends accept me for who I am but my parents are constantly telling why I'm not such a perfect person. Everytime they talk about other people's children, they keep rubbing in about how lucky other people are to have two sons. I don't get why me not being a male and having a different sex organ is such a bloody problem! My brother doesn't have to go through what I do. I'm sure that my parents have never threatened to disown him or something. Due to all this, I think I might be suffering from long term stress but I don't see any way of me solving this. I'm just 17 so I'm not financially strong enough to move out or go oversea and never come back. Once when i asked my mother why she had children: Mum: Because everyone else was having them. I was so hurt that I didn't know what to say. It just made me think that whenever they were nice to me, it was because they wanted to make up for something. My brother once called me a disgrace to the family. I don't even know why he would say something like that to me. I study hard and get good grades while he smokes, has tattoos and i don't know what else since he doesn't live with us anymore. My parents miss him like crazy. I feel worse than a replacement. Sorry, my words might not make sense right now because I can't really think right now.

Like the others have mentioned, it'd be good if you can spend the night there too. Whether she's up to no good or not, you can stop anything bad from happening if you're there. How about asking the two guys over to your house instead? Your girl can come along if she wants to.

Like others have mentioned, I think he might have looked back on his life and realized what he did wrongly. Usually, when people gropw older and wiser, they tend to regret things they have done in the past. So, I guess he might just be trying to set his past mistakes right. Perhaps he still wants to be friends. In my apologising experience, I apologised to a friend of mine 1 and half years after we broke up. I didn't want to have anymore awkward relationships and just wanted to be on good terms with a person I've shared so much with. Perhaps, that might be the same thing he is feeling right now.

Humans are complicated beings indeed, aren't we? Your man has turned almost perfect and super nice to you. However, all the changes he made might not be what you want. By making the changes, perhaps he has turned into somebody new you don't really know anymore and that might be sending warning signals to you. My idea would be for you to talk to him and work out what is really happening at the moment and what you need/want. Love isn't about doing something, it's about feeling. Even if your man is perfect but you don't feel anything, ...........(draw your own conclusion) I wish you best of luck.

I feel that my friends are growing apart each day... I guess it's natural to lose our closeness since we're all growing up and will probably mature differently. However, this is causing me to have problems in school. Everyone that I know seems so different lately. Because of that, I feel so alone and there's no one I can really trust right now. I get really cautious and suspicious with many people and I think that's ticking them off. That's also because there's this girl whom i dislikes me sitting two seats away from me. Four of her cliques are sitting in front of me. That and my partner whom I've grown fond of seems to have converted over to her side as well. The thing that really sets me off about her is that she seems to flaunt her relationship with my partner. She's demuringly sweet to my partner when I'm there or when I'm looking while ignoring me completely. It's almost as if she wants to get me jealous. It's rather infuriating to cope with these when I have to cope with school stress too. The environment in school for me is really bad now and I dread going there every single day. Although this is my last year, I really can't wait to get out. I'm not sure how to deal with this. I guess there's no answer... Sorry but the need to rant just overtook me.

I'm sorry to hear about the situation you are currently going through. Several years ago, I lost my grandmother to cancer and I can say I've been in the same situation you're in right now. It was a little tormenting to be the last person to be told but I think your parents didn't want to worry you much. It's times like this when humans feel guilty for not spending more of their time with another person but that can't be helped. Glad that you're talking to her over the phone. Just letting her know that you care and you're there for her too is enough, i hope. ^^ It usually does. I wish you strength in getting through this. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to pm me. ^^ I can't help much but I can hear you out.

I've been away from school for awhile and came back to school to find dried blood marks on her arm. From what I know, she used to punch walls but stopped recently to do this. She's under a lot of stress and so am i. I guess that's just a way for her to express her pain. I thought I understood the cutting mechanism but now I don't think I do anymore. Why is it bad? I want to help her stop but I don't know why and how I can help her. I know I won't be able to persuade her to go to a counsellor and her mum seems to know but not care. Please do advise.

It's been a long time since I've been here. Thank you for trying to help me in my time of despair. ^^ I did live through it. Life's still stressful but I'm coping well. What melrich said a while ago did move something in me. Thanks.

: ) I'm not Christian. And I thought god's greatest gift is forgiveness... Taking one's life isn't that sinful.... I don't hurt. I feel no pain at the moment. I feel so calm, so ready to die except for the fears in my heart. I hate uncertainty.

t-rav, what you said about my signature gave me the creeps. I haven't noticed it for a very long time now. Unfortunately,some lives have to come to an end someday. What's afterlife like? Can someone point me in the correct direction or give me some links about afterlife? Most of my problems have to do with my school and future. My..my parents aren't really happy with me hating school so much and me seeking an alternative. They've been pushing me to limits of my tempers this days, I feel I can no longer take it. I don't think I can last one more month, let alone the rest of my life. My life has become so unmeaningful... I have to go to school in about 1 and 1/2 hours time and I seriously don't wanna jump from that building I'm studying in. If I'm going to drown myself, I'd better do it fast, I don't have much time so please tell me about the afterlife stuff. Don't worry about helping me, it's nothing wrong. Everybody has their own reasons.

I've been wondering for awhile what afterlife is going be like or is like... I was supposed to be drowing myself in the pond outside at the moment but then my dad just woke up and came to ask me why I'm up so early. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm not even sure why I'm alive. I wasn't supposed to live through the night. I tried drowning myself in a pail last night but never had the courage to go on. The pond might be able to give me a better feel of my surroundings. For some reasons last night, for some part of me still wants to live... but I shouldn't desire life anymore, should I? Don't tell me that my parents care or something because if I care for them, it'd be better to release myself from the confines of a body. Many problems has eventually lead me to this. Actually I was supposed to drown myself yesterday. Drowning is painful but i don't have other less painful ways. Most of the tools aren't available to me. Please advise, I have very little time left before everyone wakes up and I have to go to school. Contemplated jumping from the school building before but that might be more painful. Hates school

Well, I was an above average student until this year. Suddenly, I can't cope with school and don't want to have anything to do with it anymore. I'm planning to drop out and be a private candidate for my last government examination next year. So, should I? Because my parents aren't very happy with my decision and probably won't do as I want to. My mental health has been greatly affected by school and I can't do it anymore. I've cried more than 6 times in a month and all of it was because of school. I fear I might go crazy or suicide if I'm under so much pressure. I've skipped loads of classes and stopped doing my homework and folios just to stop and worry. This worry I have in me just won't leave me alone. So, if I don't do anything, the government might but then again, the lame government might not even do anything. There's almost no alternative to high school in my country and they all force us to go through their torturing education system. Please advise.

For some reasons, I have lost my will to live, to survive. I know I cannot continue like this, that I cannot continue to drag myself through everyday. Either I find a way out or I end it. Some part of me wants to die while the other desperately seeks a way for me to live but I cannot find a way out. I am terribly confused and has comtemplated suicide for a very long time but never had the courage to try it out. I have nothing to look forward to. The fact that school reopens tomorrow is depressing me even more. I get very depressed on Sundays and Mondays. It has never happened before this year. My eyes hurt from crying and my head hurts for no reason. I do not have any moral support from the people at home. I feel as if I have been abandoned just because I'm not perfect. While I sit here typing and crying, I don't know what to do. Trying to explain the problem to my parents will only make them push me harder and tell me that nothing is wrong. That I should block it out and continue my life as if nothing happened. The school counselors cannot be trusted because they have known to leak out secrets. It's as if I've been abandoned on a deserted island. I've found myself wishing some accident will happen to me so I do not have to decide but it looks like the world is made this way. Those that wish to die does not usually die. I don't know how to live and I don't know how to die. The most painful thing is being in between. I cannot face tomorrow. Please someone tell me what to do.

I'm not very keen on the spell idea as there are always prices to pay when you go that way. So, I suppose the best would be to go the normal way, with pure human skill. Perhaps, calling up the ex and talking. Or if you don't fancy the straightforward way, you can try bumping into him in one of the places he usually stop by and flash him a lovely smile. If it happens to be a very crowded cafe, you might be able to share his table too.

[supports RayKay's opinion] You need to move on by doing things to motivate yourself. Try doing your favourite things and exercising if there's any feelings you need to let out. Do not bottle up your feeling inside you because it'd burst someday. I'm sure you can do it, I'm sure you can get over the grief. It'll take time but it's not impossible.