I was in a 4 year relationship that just ended by my girlfriend. In August I get an email saying how she was sorry we couldn't spend as much time together because she was working so much and that we would use the up and coming weekend to spend with each other. She also said how I was not the "one", but the "one and only", and how she couldn't wait to walk down aisle and marry me. About the third week in September, right before we were suppose to go to Reno she tells me that she is having "questions" about our relationship?!?! Three weeks after that she came home from being out of town for work, and told me we should just be friends, and she needed to step back from the relationship. She was honest with me when she told me that there was another guy she met and that her interest in him is what caused her "questions" in our relationship.
Her reasoning for the break was for something I did over 3 years ago. The incident she was talking about was a summer she stayed at school, and I treated her like crap. I really did, and I hated myself for treating her the way I did. I chose to drink and party a lot over treating her with the respect she deserved. Nobody deserves to be treated the way I treated her, and I have never treated anyone like that. It scared me so I went and met with the pastor at my church to help change the person that I had become. I made that change, and things were great. We had some hard times due to various situations. We had to have a long distance relationship over her senior year of college while I was out working at my new job. It was rough, but I think we did a pretty good job at it. Then that summer I got laid off from my job, while she was starting a new job. Through all of these adversities we were doing great. This past summer was really busy because we had a dozen weddings to attend. Once again we handled the busy schedule and stress great and had a wonderful time.
That brings me to August where my story started. Now she tells me she has never forgiving me for the summer that I caused her so much pain, and she had never been treated like that. She also told me that she didn't like the person she had become because of the anger she supposedly had for me still. She told me she cheated on me and told me that she felt as if she was getting back at me for how I treated her. It has been a couple of weeks since she broke it off, and she has been seeing this other guy the whole time. I was trying to be her friend in saying that I didn't think it was right to jump from our relationship to another. I really want whats best for her and I, and I don't her sleeping with another guy a couple of weeks after we split is healthy of normal. That is not the type of person she it. It is like she is running from the pain!!! I have tried to be objective and do whats best for her and I as individuals not a couple, but she just thinks I am trying to fix everything. As a result she has said some very mean and hateful things to me.
I would like her to see someone because I think she has a problem. She doesn't like to deal with things. Her way of dealing with problems is moving on or pushing them to the side and taking on more in her life.
Sorry this was so long, but can anyone help me understand what is going on???
