liz22

To clarify, I’m not on my phone all day. I am with her all day and night and do lots with her. She is never out of my sight. I just casually go on my phone to check what is going on in the world, purchase necessities since I don’t get out of the house, etc. it is difficult when I never get a break and then my husband makes me feel like a bad person because I check a football score online or whatever. I am the babysitter. My baby has sleep issues too so I have to be with her for naps and sleep To constantly rock and put back in crib. Her sleep time is not my time to do whatever. If anything I get her to sleep for long enough increments so that I can sleep and then function during the day. it would be nice if my husband said I was doing a good job every once and a while instead of finding a moment here and there of me doing something for myself and make me feel like I’m not doing anything. If I ask my husband for help he sighs, makes me feel like a failure and says “what would you do if I wasn’t here to help”.

I’m watching my 1 year old full time and sometimes I like to watch a video on my phone or scroll Facebook. My husband gets mad at me saying I need to pay attention to our child. I considerate this my “me” time when I’m on my phone while my toddler is playing. He (my husband) on the other hand spends little time with our toddler. He goes to work and then spends about 4 hours in his man cave garage after work before coming in. How do I get him to see that I need time for myself too and that comes in the way of watching something on my phone. He makes me feel like a bad parent when I feel like I do everything. I’m lucky to shower twice a week so I feel like he needs to back off about my phone.

They will and they have twice already. Really, they come out to see their other grandchild (my husband’s sibling’s child) who is 18, but of course they see us too. They were out here for their other grandchild’s graduation once and again to pick him up and fly him back with them to the east coast for a summer visit.

My in laws have always pressured us about visit them on the east coast since our baby has been born. Our baby is now one. They said they will pay for us to fly there, so there is no excuses. The problem is I don’t feel comfortable flying with a 1 year old across the country. For Christmas they sent our 1 year old a suit case with a note that said their wish/gift for us this Christmas is to come visit them on the east coast. They don’t let up. They were pissed when my husband told them it would probably be a few years. I was pissed they won’t let it go or understand our standpoint. It’s 2 hours to the airport for us and about the same for them. Plus no direct flights, so it would be approximately a 12 hour travel day at best, assuming flights aren’t delayed and we have a quick layover. Right now our baby has trouble driving in a car for more than an hour. It turns into a disaster and that is the furthest she has been able to travel. She still even has trouble sleeping in her crib so we are dealing with long nights and sleep issues. They don’t have anything we would need at their place such as a crib, rocker, gated off area, baby proofing, and all the other stuff. They don’t get it. My child needs to be rocked and needs silence to nap so a plane wouldn’t work for that. Plus I think she would be scared out of her mind. How do I get them to let up about this. I am tired of being the bad guy for having to say “no” (along with my husband) when this has never been my idea to beginning with. Did I mention we are not good flyers to begin with. I get anxiety. I have only flown to the east coast once in my life.

Thank you everyone. I understand some of these things seem mundane. I think it is the fact that I deal with it on a constant basis and she has does thing that dont make me feel comfortable leaving her alone with my baby. Things I didn’t even get into on this post. Everything from her calling my pregnancy “crap” (I think she is very jealous of baby and could go Lifetime Movie Network on the baby) to letting her kids get molested as kids and never turning in the family member (she is still friends with the family member like nothing happened). So it’s the big things and the little things for me. The little things just get my irritated on a daily basis.

The adventures of the “I’m the boss” Mother in law continues. Our baby just turned 1. After several situations with my MIL when baby was first born, we have kept our distance from her and had only occasional visits. An example of those situation is her showing up and walking into our house when the baby was a few weeks old. My husband was outside and had told her “no”to coming in because I wasn’t expecting company, but she said “she is the grandma and can come in” and walked right in. I was half naked. She still stayed an hour while I was trying to stay covered on the couch. After that my husband said “don’t do that again” and told her that was not ok. That turn into her telling everyone “ that we “don’t allow her over” and “ I never see my grand baby”. This is not true. I still allow her over if she asks with a day set up and it’s maybe once a month. She tells family that she never gets to come over and then they come to us saying “she said she is not allowed over so maybe you can work in your relationship”. Basically, we are the bad guys but her behavior has dictated our boundaries. She leaves that part out to family and friends. This weekend we invited her over for our daughter first birthday (hoping for the best). Immediately when she got there she pissed me off. I had my daughter seated in her high chair to take pictures with her decorations. My MIL arrives at the party and while I’m taking pictures, she came right over and starts removing my daughter from the high chair. I say 2x, “ can you leave her in there, I am taking pictures”. She then says “no, your going to take this picture” ( it is my MIL now holding my daughter out of the high chair). MIL then takes her and starts walking around and I never get the picture. Even when I try to get a picture of her eating her smash cake, I can’t get one without my MIL in it because my MIL pulls up a chair right next to her high chair for the cake smashing. My MIL put her fingers in the cake too and tasted it during the cake smash. How do I handle this lady. If we pull back again because of her behavior, she will paint us as the bad guy to everyone. I certainly don’t think she is going to change.

I just found out the my fiance has been talking to his x-girlfriend on the phone. She lives on the other side of the country in his hometown but he is going to his hometown to visit in a month and I am worried. He revealed to me today that he still loves her but he is IN love with me so I shouldn't worry. I also found out that he has not told her about me at all. To her knowledge I don't exist. My fiance told me that this is their thing...they remain friends but don't tell each other about their love lives so that they won't hurt the other person. The thing is, he dosen't want to hurt her, but by doing that he is hurting me (100 times more). What should I do. What should I think? I mean, I have already told him what I think but he says I just have to deal with it.

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I'm 22 and he is 25.

I have been with my boyfriend for 1 year this week and I don't know if I am suppost to get him a present. We are probably going out together, but I don't know about exchanging of gifts. If I should get him something, can you please give me some ideas. Thanks.

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