twinself

Hi jaderiseley, Please don't think I'm being harsh here, but love should not be 'tearing you apart'. People who really love one another do their utmost to be kind and not hurt each other. It seems like this guy doesn't yet know what he truly wants.... either you, your best friend, or even a relationship. I would never tell you break up with him, only you can decide to do that. I too was in a similar story. It tore me apart too... but I finally fought to let it go. We cannot make anybody love us or want to be with us....it has to come from them. A desire from their inner soul. I think you really need to look at your situation from an objective point of view. Ask yourself some questions. Is it making you happy? Do you really believe this guy ever cared for you? A man needs to know who and where he is, before he can offer a woman the love she deserves. Love yourself first...and the one who will love you just as much will come your way. Wish you luck... c

Sorry about posting twice!! Don't mean to be a bore.....honest!!! My connection is bad today...must have been a hitch. And I can't delete the second post! take care c

Thanks Guys! I know I deserve better.... and I can 'let go' of this if I have to. But the fine line between the ego, and unconditionally loving someone really confuses and bugs me. Might find the answer one day.....until then I need to keep walking.......falling...and picking myself up again... What doesn't break me ... will make me.. Hugs

Thanks Guys! I know I deserve better.... and I can 'let go' of this if I have to. But the fine line between the ego, and unconditionally loving someone really confuses and bugs me. Might find the answer one day.....until then I need to keep walking.......falling...and picking myself up again... What doesn't break me ... will make me.. Hugs

Thanks so much for your insight KUHL I am having the same feelings of : being played, him not knowing what he wants etc Yet I can't change who this person is....I have to accept what is going on with his life too I'll submit a little more info cos it might make a difference to judgement. This guy is 41 and has been living in the country where he is working for over 19 years. He was only here for one year straight and that is the year I got to know him as a friend. He was married there but got divorced seven years ago. His two kids live with his ex wife. So perhaps moving back is not such an easy task. But I am feeling that perhaps his love for me is not strong enough to make him move off his b*** What would YOU do?? lol He says he doesn't want to lose what we have. But it has gone beyond friendship...and I don't think I can deal with being just that. We agreed to cool things down a little and not text each other too much.. so he'd have time to think. Or is this the tactic men use in keeping women hanging on? It is so damn hard trying to be cool with someone you have strong feelings for and really care about!!! He said, when he was here last, that it seems the timing is wrong. But I think that if he really wanted me...he'd be more convinced in moving, after all the rest of all his family and childhood friends are here too. It feels like I'm his No1 when he's abroad...but when he gets here...I move to second place and he gets confused. He told me that if we see other people we'll tell each other .. and that he does want to be here. Does this guy want me or not?? aaaaaaaah

Must be the moon or something!! lol At the moment I feel like giving up on ever finding love again. I believe in being myself.....but it seems to scare men away. Should I 'act' cool...or this or that?? What would that make me? A fake??....or is it true that men prefer B**CH*S??? I am totally perplexed ....and can't be of much help either at the moment. good luck and better times to all!! Can't always be downhill.....LOL

Hi all, Wondering if any males can help here?? Well, I have known this guy for three years+ After a year of knowing him as just a friend he went abroad for work. We kept in touch by phone texting, and in a few words he said he liked me more than friends. Things got warmer over 9 months texting each other and then he came back for two weeks. We had a great time and he always told me how great a woman I was. He left again telling me to get on with my life, cos he didn't know when he'd ever be back. Well, things cooled off...but we kept in touch every now and again. After about 14 months he let me know he was coming for a holiday again and I assumed we would meet up again even if for just a coffee or something. It turned out he came and left again without us ever meeting up! He had assumed that I was with somebody else and didn't want to cause me any trouble. Two months after this he started texting me regularly again, phoning me, telling me we got on great and that that was a good basis for a relationship. I was adamant to stay cool...after all this guy lived thousands of miles away, and I had to let him go.....but he said that there was nothing keeping him there any more and was thinking of moving back. He was telling me how much he missed me and that he loved me and that by Xmas time 2004 he'd be back for good. Well, I believed it all. He has just left after three weeks here and I am semi=devastated. It is back to him saying that he wants to be here but it is 90 per cent and that he is not sure. He cancelled some dates with me while he was here, yet at the same time he enjoyed being with me. He wouldn't ask me to wait for him or keep me from seeing other people. He said he needs more time to think. In a few words, I had the impression that before he came over he had already made up his mind, that he wanted to be with me and would do anything not to 'lose me again' (his words). I am at a loss. Part of me wants to hope and part of me wants to stop all contact. I told him this has gone on for too long already and I can't hang in limbo anymore. Would love to hear what anyone thinks!! Especially men!! Is he unsure about me?? Is he unsure about moving back?? I am so confused. thanks

I agree with Frenchie....I advise meeting pretty soon. You might get on like a 'house on fire' online, but meeting in real life is totally different. You might find that there is no 'spark' and shallow as it might seem, physical attraction is important. No matter how many photos of the person one might have already seen....real life IS not the same. Anyway, I still wish you luck. This might be the love of your dreams after all!!