ex sweatheart

sleep eludes me, i woke up to see your text, why is this so hard, when does it get easier ?? its nice to know this is hard for your too

i am angry and i am hurt, i am getting the gossip calls from mutual friends, why make a point of telling me you werent going camping because it wasnt the same without me when you were going anyway, dont play with me well now im going to your favorite place without you ! ill be dancing my heart out at Riva with the girls, hope your enjoying camping angry is better than sad for me

Its grand final day, this time last year i was in America and you were texting me the score evey 10 minutes, i didnt care about the score and was annoyed because i told you i missed you and you just kept telling me about the game with no response, you were only stirring me cause you knew id be annoyed lol wish you were texting me the score and still stirring me now

I am whole and happy, i deserve unconditional love

i hope your having a good night with your kids, i miss friday night dinner with you and the kids, even with the slamming doors and 3 cranky teenagers im sitting on the couch we used to cuddle up on and ordered a pizza, so its movie night with my daughter listening to the rain and thinking of you i just need to stay strong, the reasons are still there and i need to remember that, im still not a priority to you, maybe one day you will realise that i deserve to be and see that i was the best thing that happened to you you wont find some one who will love and support you as much as i have , you were given it all freely with no conditions but unconditionally i hope you relaise this before ive had enough heartache

why did you do that to me today, i was doing ok, not great but ok

do you think of me? do you miss me at all? guess you will away with the boys this wknd cursing my name, if you had of even tried to make the effort of putting me first or taking my feelings into consideration we could have been in such a different place i wish you well

i was just at your garage getting my stuff and dropping your off, glad you werent home, i dont think i could have coped feeling numb and empty......feels so easy for you and gut wrenching for me, how do you get away unscathed ? id like to say our relationship was a waste of my time and i hate you but i dont hate you, i love you and the last year and a half was the best and worst times of my life

i never cheated on him, i love this man more than i would like to, i BU with him with a lot of regret but as its seems it hasnt fazed him in the least. we had discussed our issues recently and he admitted he treats me badly and said he would try to change but reverted back with in a month, maybe im selfish but i believe that i deserve to be loved freely and unconditonally and treated as a priority, if my ex could actaully do that i never would have BU but unfortunately he is too consumed by his own wants and needs to share his life im so sorry to hear about your ex, unfortunately there are a lot of women who makes the rest of us look bad, i hope it works out or at the least you find a women who you can treat that way and who will give you back the same love

Dear Ex, 3 days and counting, yes i ended it after 1 1/2 years of coming not second but last on the priority list... so why is it hurting so much ? i fell sick, i cant eat, there is a knot in mystomach and an elephant sitting on my chest. I love you, probably too much, i have been spending my days with the mantra of "dont text him, dont text him", you didnt fight for our relationship at all, you couldnt even bother responding when i told you how hurt and lonely i have felt and that is why i couldnt do this anymore. do you care at all ? did you not love me enough to at least value my feelings ? i guess not im sure the tears will stop eventually and i will wake up one day ... hopefully soon with out the dread of another day thinking of you, with out rolling over and crying because your not there

I havent been here for a couple of weeks due to moving house and being busy at work whivh has kept me busy thank goodness.. oh then it slows down and you stop long enough to get angry , get hurt.... and of coursee i have had no wilpower when it comes to ex i have been fine and hopeful until i stoppped long enough to think and have had no attempted contact for a week, so i wanted to post here rather then send a text or email Hey, hope all is wonderful, hope your getting out of the house for fresh air and excecise, clearing your head............. actually that's not why im writing this , im writing cause im angry, frustrated and sad , not much different to then end of our relationship really. you have been acting like you care but you dont really do you ? i have spent the last 10 mths treating you like a child or pet, nursing you back to health when things were bad and in return i got bitten , this sucks, it sucked when we were together and it suck snow im trying to move on . A guy asked me out for a drink the other day and all i could think was what if he calls and im out with someone else or what if we sort things out and i have to say yeah i did date other people... well you know what Ive been waiting around for you to grow up and be ready for an adult relationship but you either don't want to or just cant so damn it im going to move on .... or at least try like hell take care ** xoxo

Broke NC last night, stupid stupid stupid, i had message from an ex from long long ago (why do they all come back to bite at once when you vunerable) saying i was still the love of his life 8 yrs on , after i turned down 2 proposals as i was too young ... anyway i got to thinking it was my karma, i was young then and not ready and now i am ready cant seem to find someone who is so contacted my ex .. out of loneliness, fear and goodness knows what else, originally just to say i have to post some of your stuff back we chatted for a while and have spent today kicking myself so i begin again round 5 NC day 1... why do i suck at this ? its not that hard... NO CONTACT, i find it easy when i furious or just plain complacent with anyone else but not with an ex

It was great to hear your voice last night, i have missed being able to chat to you , even if its only been a little over a week its still so odd not to speak daily. I was thinking today , do i really need any guarantees or promises about our future, i mean we could very well see how things go for a year... then i thought you know what yes i do need some idea that you care enough about me and have enough interest in the relationship to at least consider it

Day 8 and feeling a little better.. i think Was packing cupboards of clothes to move and found some of his stuff, felt pretty crappy and figured it was an excuse to call him but thankfully talked myself out of it quickly so went to get a pedicure and see a movie with my daughter instead... lol good way to avoid cleaning and looking at more boxes but hey took my mind off a few things anyway. I keep kicking myself that im this upset and rattled by a 9 month relationship that i actually ended, i keep reading the posts on here that say the dumper should be feeling strong but maybe it just the reasons behind the breakup that alter feelings. Hope everyone has been having a good or at least better day today xo