thePuma

Thanks for the kind words. I've thought about writing before, but.. it's not really my thing. This was something that I just had to put out there..

When I was little boy, my parents bought a book about nature. It taught me many things, from collecting rocks to watching birds. Suddenly I wanted to be a biologist or a geologist. I wanted to travel the world, camp in the woods, watch the colors of the world. Then my parents bought another book about scientific facts and discoveries. With it I learned a lot about physics, from gravity to electricity. I was sure I wanted to be a scientist. I wanted to make cool inventions like the transistor or the telescope. Then my parents bought a computer. I started designing and programming. Everything could be created and tested virtually, without any consequences to the real world. I was going to be a great computer and software engineer. It was so cool to build anything out of nothing. Sometime after that, my sister started studying nursing and I read several of her books. Being a nurse was so cool. It was like being a biologist, a scientist and an engineer all at the same time, fixing ailments and creating wellness out of nothing. Time was running and I had to make a choice. I chose to be a nurse. I wasn’t completely happy with that decision, but I couldn’t spend the rest of my life looking for a career. I graduated. I got a job. I got married. My wife and I, we’re happy together but we still think we’re not ready for parenthood. Now I work as a full time ward nurse. I get to help a few people, some go home better, some die. It’s a job where half of my effort disappears with people. It’s an OK job. I do for people whatever they need at their worst moments in life but, sometimes, people go and I’m left with doubts. Every day I need an escape plan to forget the hospital. I used to come home and take care of my garden. I sowed all the grass, planted some trees and grew corn, tomatoes, watermelons and peppers. Due to some awkward and heavy tasks in my job, when I get home, my back and legs are in pain, so I don’t garden that often anymore. I had great fun playing videogames, imagining that I had free will, being a space soldier, saving the galaxy, romancing an alien. In the end, videogame writers managed to spoil five years of fantasy. I no longer play videogames. I find them repetitive, unrealistic, limited. It was time for a real hobby. I was going to be an amateur radio enthusiast. I bought a radio and started logging broadcast stations, ham operators and utility signals from all over the world. Very soon my radio died due to a static discharge on a very tiny chip. Shortwave stations around the world are dying too due to budget cuts. Religion is dead. People no longer gather together, there’s too much of everything – too many options. Technology is not connecting us, it is scattering us. Now I go outside at night leaving everything behind to look at the sky. I no longer look at it with the same awe. It’s just a huge black unknown filled with opportunities, wishes, dreams. It makes me feel unique but forgotten, unused. Suddenly, I understand. I am a stargazer. I am not meant to create, develop or imagine. I am only supposed to enjoy all that is around me. Time will pass. Generations will come. Everything and everyone will be replaced and forgotten. I'm just a forgotten stargazer.

I enjoyed reading it

Google says that there are 2,120 results for gabapentin (neurontin) and "loss of libido" as well as 943 results for gabapentin and anorgasmia. Btw, check this conversation: link removed

Thinking about all the projects that I have yet to start and imagining new things that I'm probably never going to start seems to keep me busy. For me, these things are usually like sewing, cooking, drawing, engineering or cleaning the house. You should find your interests, do them and then feel proud about what you accomplish. In the meanwhile, watch some TV and a read a good book. Maybe you'll get ideas..?

That sounds almost like a John Carpenter movie Okay. You have four options here. The fourth is staying single - sometimes a good option. So you're attracted to three women. You should try to understand why you like each woman/girl. For the 10 years older it could be the challenge, for the barmaid it could be the looks, for the girl from the martial arts, it could be pitty. You should think hard on what you want for yourself at this age. Is it a challenge? An experience? Or someone to be by your side no matter what? I suppose each woman/girl will have her qualities. Make a choice and assume the responsability. Good luck.

You tell him a story based on your story when you have his full attention. You'll be fighting for your rights, and since he'd rather being playing computer games instead of paying attention to what you have to say, I think there are almost zero chances of making him understand your point without sounding overbearing. There are times when we just have to fight, and when communication - the cornerstone of all relationships - is not working, there's not much space left for submission. Fight for your rights, I say. I would. Unless I was scared of losing something that I wouldn't find anywhere else.

Someone said this to me not very long ago: "she obviously sees something in you that you can't see, just be who you have been and she will love you". You want a solid answer? Either you have a wonderful life together or you'll find out that you're too different and that there are other people in the world best suited for both of you. Either way, you'll have a life full of adventures.

Nope. Definitely not being sarcastic in that post. I'm really thankful for what you said. I needed to hear that.

"Black and White thinking".. oh yeah.. I have been accused of that before already.. déjà vu.. Hmm.. embracing my shallowness? Well.. that would certainly solve my genuineness problem.. and would probably leave me less uptight when dealing with other people.. leaving room in my head for a more clear way of thinking. Gosh.. thank you for the wisdom.

"Be her rock, be strong for her, be there for her". Those seem to be the words I needed to hear. Thanks man.. that's what I do best.. and that's what she needs at the end of the day.. thank you for reminding me it.

Many mixed emotions, not a good title. I try to avoid judging people by the way they look - I hate shallowness. This results in an apparently fair personality who tries to embrace everyone, especially those who are excluded by society because of looks and first impressions. This would be very kind of me: if I did it naturally. Well, I don't! I'm quite aware of the reasons why people get excluded and most of the times, I embrace them because I feel pity! I suppose this only means that I don't really pay attention to people's real values.. that I'm nothing but just a shallow, unfair person. However, my girlfriend does this naturally. She is miss popularity with the personality of Mother Teresa of Calcutta. Her natural beauty gives her confidence and the ability to befriend and help everyone. I envy her beauty! I feel like I'll never be able to match her either in beauty or in personality, like I'll never be fair like her. Oh gosh.. sometimes I wish I was blind. Oh.. will my efforts ever make me less appearance focused and more naturally fair?

Maybe he's just jealous? Maybe he wants more attention from you?

To lose weight you have to eat less calories than you expend on a regular day AND exercise. But not just any type of exercise. For example, push-ups and sit-ups are not useful to lose weight because you do them for only a minute or so and then you're tired. In these exercises that last for a short period of time, your body burns mainly sugar. That's the purpose of sugar, to provide instant energy for short periods of time. To lose fat, you need exercises that last for longer periods of time, ideally, nothing less than 20-30 minutes. Exercises like walking or jogging or a mix of both are great to start losing weight. These keep your heart beat above 100 beats per minute, and it is the only way to lose weight. To summarize, you can eat less, avoid sugars and fat foods but you will not burn any fat unless you exercise for long periods of time. That's just the way our body works. The fat in our body is used to generate energy for long activities, if we don't exercise, our body doesn't touch the fat. In fact, long lasting exercises are so important that you can lose weight even without changing your eating habits, but of course, eating healthily helps to stay healthy.

Accomplishment is hard to achieve, and the accomplished person doesn't usually think about "what to do next", this person feels comfortable with the current situation. But anyway, getting back on subject, even when one feels accomplished, one has to survive. You need to feed you and your girl. You have to either earn a salary or to produce your own food. Being in love is a fulfilling feeling, but don't let it shadow your other basic needs. Indeed, love can be magic, and even though you think you really really don't need anything else.. if love happens to end, you won't have anything to turn to. It's harsh, but not too much, I hope.