Michelle2234

Love is when you put someone else's happiness before yours.

Hey all... First of all, thank you for reading my post, as scandalous as it may seem...I am in love with a married man. Don't worry, we haven't even kissed yet, but just lots and lots and lots of other flirting and "accidental" touching that definitely does not go unlooked by others and wouldn't by his wife if she were there. I've never met his wife, but he is young. Early twenties, and I can't believe he's married, nor can anyone else. (I'm a little bit younger than him, but yes I'm over eighteen) He got married because he got her pregnant. From what I hear, she was engaged to someone else when she got pregnant. I like him SO much, and I KNOW he likes me back. We just won't act on it which is a good thing...I suppose...but frustrating nonetheless. Everyone around us thinks something already is going on...but it isn't. One of his very best friends told me that he thinks about me constantly, likes me very much and is always talking about me. He once told me that even though he got a girl pregnant and now has a young child, he wouldn't have gotten married if he knew he was going to meet me. (He got married just a couple months before we met, and there wasn't a spark, but a huge electric volt b/w us as soon as we met) I don't know what to do...it's been like this for a little over 7 months. Please..any advice.

Hey Everyone, I've been broken up with my long-time boyfriend for a few months now, so yes things are getting easier...THANK GOD! Anyway, I had to end it because he just started being such a jerk for no reason at all, turning me into a jerk too, just to defend myself, and I didn't like that. So we'd still kind of been seeing each other for a while, we'd probably get together once a week just to "catch-up"...all the while still understanding that it was okay that we were dating other people. Well then he started to say we'd meet this day, but always switch it to another day, and then any time we had plans the bottom always fell out, so I had to end it for good. He was just playing games with me and feeding off my pain because through everything I still loved him with my all. Now I'm dealing with the sad emotions of remembering the first several months we were together, how everything was perfect, why couldn't it just stay that way? Why did he have to do the things he did? I'm holding on tight to who I thought he was...but he really wasn't that person at all. That person I fell in love with, the person who I swore would never hurt me went away, but he still looks the same, so it's really hard to let go of him. It just really sucks not knowing how he feels. I want him to be sorry. I want him to miss me. I want him to find someone who won't be as good to him as I was. I want him to find people who won't put up with all the crap that I did. More than anything, I want him to know he lost something good. Is this normal? Am I just seeking some sort of absolution or un-needed attention? I just wish I could erase every good thing we had together so all I could remember is the crappy him. The new him I want out of my life for good, he's such a jerk I wouldn't even converse with a person like that...but the old him is still there in my mind, still there smiling at me, reading out to me from old cards, telling me how now we can start the life he'd always dreamed of together...do I have to treat this situation as a death? He's dead and gone and never coming back? I miss the old him so much, it hurts.

Thank you Gilgamesh...as always your words make sense to my mind, and I can understand things on a level that I would not normally think on, but that you do! I always love to read your advice, whether it's for me or not! I even search for your posts to see what you had to say, in my opinion, you have to be THEE best advice giver!

Okay, so there is this guy that I work with...and I have completely fallen for him, and it's driving me crazy! Trust me, I never fall for anyone unless they give me a reason to, (example: EXTREME flirting, touching, saying things about my appearance (positive things)) Anyway, he has a girlfriend...and this is why I want to stray away. If he can do these things to me while he's with her, he could do it to me. He is not even the type I usually go after, but there is just something about him that I am EXTREMELY attracted to! I never get like this! Not unless I'm looking at Derek Jeter or some hot movie star! One night we both kind of hung around til it was just us left, and we came THISCLOSE to kissing, but then I just hugged him and said all chipper like nothing happened "see you tomorrow!" I don't know what to do...any advice would be great! (P.S. anytime music comes on, he always slow dances with me, openly flirts with me in front of everyone, another one of my co-workers told me how this guy talked about me all the time and how beautiful he thought I was etc.) Anything here... so confused

I believe that you were lucky to get him the first time...would you want to be with someone who cheated on you?

Congratulations! I hope this doesn't mean however that you won't still be giving great advice on this forum...I always loved to read your suggestions, and always hoped that you would reply to one of my posts! Maybe one day though! Anyway, best of luck, really! Don't be a stranger around here! O

I understand that everyone is new to these situations at some point...but if you can't figure out on your own w/o getting some sort of absolution from others on the internet, you probably shouldn't be giving hand jobs or blow jobs yet. I'm not saying this to be mean, but don't just go giving it away to some guy. You sound pretty young. If you decide you want to, go from common sense. People do it everyday, so it can't be so hard, right? Just don't do anything you will regret later.

It's easy to get attatched to someone as a person, regardless of whether you have met them or not. I think he is doing this for his best interest, because I believe from what you said he knows he has strong feelings for you too, but acting on them would be less sensible than just dating someone he's dated in his past, and she is there right with him. I'm sure he thinks about you more often than you think, just lay low, and let him figure out exactly what he wants.

Holy crap it's only been three months since you've been apart?! Let her know how you feel, this is not something to delay on or play games with if this is the girl you talked about such a future with! LET HER KNOW HOW YOU FEEL! Otherwise, she'll more than likely think you really do not care.

You are doing nothing wrong, and this is pretty normal. Trust me, you'll know when you need to do something. One of these times, he's more than likely going to hit the spot, or you will move just right so you MAKE him hit the spot, and then you'll know what to do to make it great almost everytime!

That is a very tough situation to deal with....however I think you should realize that any form of relationship that is based solely on sexual relations in the beginning, that's about the depth of the relationship. To get to really know someone first (yes in real life, not "knowing" them over the internet) and then deciding you like/love them for who they are, then I think it's okay to sleep with them. But if you just want the sex too, then go for it! (Just be safe) But if you're looking for anything more than sex with this girl, don't jump start things right into sex.

Don't worry about him...or anyone else that brings grief or hurt towards you. They are not worth you time or patience. Most people will be considerate, and understand that not all Mexican-Americans are how they are portrayed to be on television, or anywhere else for that matter! I am getting my major in Criminal Justice before I go to Law school, and on of the first things I learned is that the uneducated policemen, were the ones who were far more racist. So don't worry about that incident, in fact feel sorry for the people who have such a shollow mind. Don't ever stoop to their level and become a racist yourself, sometimes it is hard to not make assumptions about people, but just try to be compassionate to everyone that comes your way. People will see that, respect that, and try to mimic that behavior. I sincerely hope nothing like that happens to you again! O

My ex boyfriend, when we were together, supplied me with a beautiful array of jewelry. However, since we've been broken up, I don't wear a piece of it, ever. But I still love it, and it is all very gorgeous and beautiful. Two of the pieces worth the most amount of money include a wonderful tennis bracelet, and a 3 certified diamond promise ring (which is essentially in real life an engagement ring, looks like one, and cost as much as one too.) Selling them had been out of the question for me for a long time. I figured, when I did sell them, him and I wouldn't be talking any more, and we would know each other, and I would have someone new. (Him and I still speak, and are debating about getting back sometime in the future, just kind of playing it by ear.) However, yesterday I totalled my car! I need some money BIG TIME! I'm a full time college student, and my car was nice and all paid of, and I had just switched my insurance from full coverage to liablility. (SUCK) I work, so I could probably get some crappy car, or my mom would just give me her car and buy a new one..and hers isn't the nicest. I want a new car, and know I could get one by selling some of this jewelry..what does everyone think? Is this a good idea, or just wrong? I figured that if we did get back together, if he really loves me, he would understand and if he wanted me to have more jewelry he would be happy to buy it. (The guy has and never will have a problem with money) It's just that these pieces of jewelry are emotionally important to me, but I guess I have to let go sometime, right?

Thanks guys..you had some good points