bootsybrown

Thanks for replying. I know that I am to blame and I was responsible enough to tell them, but it still does not help quill the anger that rages inside of me. I wish I could take everything back, but that is not an option. I know that we have to live with the choices that we make. At least what I can do is talk about it, and avoid any other stupid acts perpetuated by myself. I wish there was some way that I can convince a potential employer that I am worth the risk that I have honesty and integrity. No one, meaning employers, wants to listen, or cares. The one act of stupidity has cost my identity, my wife(she wants me out of the house), and my career. If there is anything, at least I still have the appreciation of being alive. Everything else is relative.

I was fired in March because I got busted for drugs. Mind you this was on a Saturday. My employer found out because I told them. I only told them because I figure they would find out anyways because I worked for the government. Now I can not get a job because they have blabbed this to every possible employer that I had even the slightest possible chance for employment. Eventhough the ba$tards promised me that they would keep this within Company. They lied to me. I never lied to them and now I wish I did. I have no way of recourse, and every day I would love to go into that office go completely postal. I busted my a$$ for that company and worked over 50+ hours a week. Then some freakish accident happens where my past caught up with my present, and they throw me out the window. I have exhausted my unemployment benefits and have no way of getting a job. I need someone to help me change my atitude before I actualy do go postal. I am not kidding either. I actually put plans together to take out some key individuals. Prior to this I was non violent that most folks would go to me and ask how to handle their problems. It is easy handling someone elses, but when it comes to mine. I am at a complete loss. Help me before I go postal.